Left Field
by phlowergirl
Summary: Bella needs someone to stay with while Phil and Mom travel. Dad and other relatives are not in picture. Injured baseball player needs help since he broke his leg, he is the son of a famiy friend of Phils AU little OOC
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Don't own twilight or characters. **

**Okay i am writing this for a couple of reasons but the main and most important one is that i have writters block for my other three on going stories so maybe this will help spark my brain into working. So for those of you who are patiently waiting for me to update my other stories i am working on them...slowly.... so Enjoy Bell and Edward prolouge **

**Let me know if i should continue to write this cause i might be totally boring and not know it :) won't get mad if you tell me i am **

Baseball players get injured all the time right, you know all that running and sliding into home, don't ask me baseball is not my idea of an actual sport. Phil, the love of my mother's life plays minor league ball, he has his head in the clouds most the time as he travels around the country from game to game. I get to watch my mother's eyes tear up as he leaves again and again, not to mention the heart to heart phone calls that literally tear her apart for hours after she hangs up. I can't stand to see my mother so upset. She has to travel with him, but of course, she is not willing for me to stay here alone. There is no family for me to stay with either on her side or Phil's.

Phil is due home this weekend and my mother is ecstatic, apparently, he has some great news. My mother and I have been arguing constantly about her joining Phil and allowing me to stay home. She wasn't having any of it, and of course she has spoken to Phil about it in length. Hearing one-half of those conversations was not pleasant either; promptly I leave the room when the phone rings from the first conversation and on. Maybe he got hurt, just on the news the other day I heard that some baseball player broke his leg during a disagreement with another player so maybe Phil got injured too. I can only hope it would solve all my problems at least for a little while.

I was sitting on the couch wondering if Phil was actually hurt and if not where I could live while my mother joined him on the road. The thought of Phil actually being hurt might throw my mother into a panic attack so I never brought up my theory. It was squashed as I heard the front door open and see Phil walking upright and looking extremely fit and healthy as usual. I frown but hide it quickly and put on a smile for the team.

"Hey, kiddo how have ya been?" He asks after greeting my mother with a hello and a kiss.

"Fine," I mutter my mood dampened by the thought of my problems still not being solved. None of the three of us are happy, at least if I was living elsewhere I would be the only one unhappy. My mother and Phil's happiness is much more important, I have my whole life to fine happiness, and I am only a teenager.

It isn't until later that night that Phil brings up his good news again and from the look on my mother's face he already told her while I was upstairs in my room doing homework. The dinner table sits between the three of us as I look wearily at the beaming faces of my mother and Phil. I tentatively smile hoping once again for the best. Maybe he has been fired and my mother and him can live happily ever after now.

"Bella, honey you know how we have been fighting about you staying here while I go on the road with Phil?" I mother asks pensively and I wait for the other shoe to drop.

"Yeah…" I say warily looking and poking at my meatloaf.

"You tell her babe, I don't want to mess it up." My mother croons at Phil.

"Last week in Philly I ran into my old coach he is the new assistant coach for the team we were playing, well anyway we got to talking and he mentioned that his son had just made one of the Seattle teams. I remembered him, just a kid back then now he is about 23 or 24 I'm not really sure, straight out of college. It is such a shame too, you know what happened to him. Did you hear about it on the news? Edward Cullen, the batter just kept swinging that bat at him, it took three members of security to pull the crazy guy off of him."

"What does this have to do with anything? I heard the story on the news last week, if I needed a play by play or actually cared I would have looked it up online." I grumble not feeling very sympathetic at the moment, sure last week when I heard about it I was worried for the guy, my mother and I had talked about it for a couple of hours. Good distraction from the fighting we usually did.

The are both smiling at me now, and Phil continues, " Well, you see with his dad being all the way over in Pennsylvania along with the rest of his family the poor guy needs someone to help him out around the house. You know since he is on crutches and everything. He is way to proud to even consider hiring a nurse, but I thought it would be the perfect situation for you to not only be helpful but also have a place to stay."

My eyes widen at the statement, my wishes answered, but they want me to live with a strange guy. Alarms go off in my head almost instantly and my reaction must be plastered like a billboard on my face.

"Bella, Honey…Don't be alarmed kiddo, his dad is like a father to me Edward was hanging around the field all the time as a kid, I watched him grow up…he was practically family to me before coach left." Phil explains making me feel a little less alarmed at the whole situation, but thankful for the circumstances to have arisen.

I must have the only parents in the world that want to send their daughter off to live with a crippled 23 year old man. It makes it sound even stranger for me to say that this guy is my step-father's ex-coaches son whom is almost like a brother/son to said step-father. What does that make him my semi-partial kinda/ uncle/brother? I roll my eyes at that thought, too complicated.

The conversation continues mostly without me, plans made and dates are set giving me less than a week to pack my stuff and prepare to go. Phil and my mother would accompany me to the airport but would get on different planes seeing as they were headed to Florida and I to Seattle. A taxi would be waiting to take me to Edward Cullen's house where I would finally meet the guy. School, I would attend the local one and help out Edward as needed by cooking, shopping, and other such things that might be hard for someone with a compound fracture to the tibia.

Nervousness spreads over me as I excuse myself from the conversation and head up to my room to start staring at my stuff to decide what I would bring. There is not much to decide about for the most part, jeans, shirts, shoes, and my school stuff. I wonder what stupid town he lives in, I only picked up that it is not in Seattle but somewhere else, but I missed that part of the conversation.

I settle reluctantly into bed still awash with anxiety over the ending of my boring life with my mother, I got what I wanted. Now my mom will truly be happy and I will put on that happy face so that there are no second thoughts. I will do this for my mother for her happiness she deserves that much. I fall asleep with peaceful thoughts of my mother watching Phil play ball and stay in fancy hotel rooms with him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay here is the next chapter hope you like.... EnjOy**

The taxi drops me off at a rather small but dignified looking house on the outskirts of some small town. It took the taxi a couple hours to arrive here, but I didn't notice where here is since my eyes shut tight as I tried to fight back the exhaustion. The cab driver didn't bother to help me further than the drive with my suitcases, luckily they both have wheels. I chuck my backpack onto my bag and grab the two suitcases with my hands. My feet don't cooperate and I find myself in a pile of my suitcases flat on my back in the driveway of what I hope is Edward Cullen's house, the injured baseball player.

I frown to myself and look up towards the house glumly and wonder if two trips are better than one, or else I might just trip 3 or 4 more times if I try to move them both again. My eyes rake over the house noticing the large front windows and the vertical blinds part slightly. I gasp, he knows I am here and fell down; I feel like such a klutz, he is a baseball player and probably moved with grace and determination before he got hurt. He is probably in there laughing at my poor balance and lack of grace. I grudgingly pull myself back to my feet and grab one of the bag and pull it to the doorstep before heading back to pull the other towards the door.

I watch my feet, threatening them to keep themselves on the ground, I look up readying myself to knock on the dark green door of the house. I gasp, before me stands the most beautiful, handsome man I have ever encountered. Eyes of Emerald, deep and set into a face rich in the undertones of masculine haughtiness, the glimmer in his eyes clearly shows amusement, but his facial features does not. His jaw is tight, his brows furrowed as he watches me stumped over what appears to be a crutch. His leg bears a hard cast, plaster, and white, oddly slanted against the floor. His face clearly shows signs of annoyance or anger as he leers at me from the threshold.

"Isabella, I presume, what other clumsy teenaged girl would be dragging suitcases to my door unless I sent away for a mail order bride without knowing it…Well speak girl." Edward says his voice echoing in my ears, hard and uncaring. What have I gotten myself into?

"Hi." I say quietly, "Nice to meet you." I say even quieter as I notice him grimace at me.

"Get in the house, I can't stand here all day with the door open so you can gawk at me."

I scramble into the house dragging one bag behind me and quickly turn around for the other but find that Edward has already dragged it past him and is shutting the door. I freeze mid-step and backtrack quickly clearing a path for Edward, trying to stay out of the way.

"I'll show you to your room," He says dragging the suitcase behind him while hobbling across the house with his crutch. I follow quietly shocked by his harsh language; does he hate me or something?

"I know why my father sent you here; I want you to know I am not some invalid in need of a nurse maid, so think of me more as your glorified babysitter who doesn't give a crap." He grumbles as he leads me into a room at the end of the hall.

The room is large with a small twin bed, a desk, and several dressers. There is a small closet also. A computer sits on the desk along with a reading lamp. The walls are a subtle shade of light blue and the bedding in contrast is a deep midnight blue. The window is large floor to ceiling and looks out over the backyard of the house towards some trees. From what I saw outside we have no neighbors, the only thing surrounding the house are the trees and the gravel driveway leading through them.

"You start school in a week you will be driving yourself to and from, I don't expect to EVER have to hear from them concerning your behavior, I am not your father so I don't expect to have to act like one. You are 16 and perfectly capable, if I need your assistance I will ask." He says coolly and leaves me alone in my room.

This is not what I expected at all. Why is he so mean? What did I ever do to him? I sit down on my bed wondering what exactly has the man out in the other room so bitter. I swallow fighting back tears, this is going to be a long school year. It will seem much longer than I ever wanted it to be. The tears don't come, I fight them back as I think of my mother and Phil and their happy place in the world at the moment.

My courage surmounts later in the day and I venture out into the living area, my stomach growling its opinion that not eating today is unacceptable. In the living room Edward is seated on the sofa with a book in his hands, eyes on the pages. He takes no notice as I pass him on my way to the kitchen to find something to eat. This takes a lot of courage to take initiative to find food in a house I feel so unwelcome in, but he didn't seem to want to bother with me so I take it I shouldn't bug him. I find some bread and lunchmeat in the fridge, finding it isn't hard seeing as all that is in the fridge is the deli meats and some beer with 1 or 2 sodas.

My sandwich reaches my stomach pretty fast seeing as I want to get back to my room quickly. As I put the last bite into my mouth, I peak into the front room making sure to stay out of sight. His eyes on the pages, reading intently, and my eyes can't seem to stray from looking at him. The harsh lines of his face have soften as he reads, a slight smile forms on his face as he flicks to the next page, I wonder if he is into his book? I didn't notice when I saw his battered face on the news that such a magnificent creature was hidden under all those bruises and swellings.

A second later his eyes look up, I look down and quickly walk from the kitchen and towards my room without a word.


	3. Chapter 3

**OKay here is the next chapter hope you like, and some of you wondered about the ages of eddie and Bella well it shouldn't be a problem since they just met, who is gonna jump into bed with a hot baseball player whose house you're staying at...okay bad question but this is Bella we are talking about and it is Edward so just EnJOY.... and be happy...**

**Thanks for all the reviews on this fanfic never really wrote anything like this before so hope it isn't boring....**

Chapter 3

The last few days have been awful, Edward has been nothing but rude to me since I arrived, apparently no one bothered to ask him if he wanted or needed me here to help him. I stay in my room mostly, he always looks frustrated or angry when ever I do see him. I can't help the fact that I am here and I will just have to make the best of it, and if that means staying in my room then so be it.

We don't seem to have anything in common, I mean he is a 23 year old guy and I am still in high school, what could we have in common, and on top of that he is a baseball player. Roll my eyes at the boredom a conversation about that sport could bring. He is 7 years older than me, sure he is off the wall hot, but that can't mean much when it comes down to the fact that he hates me.

"Isabella!" I hear a his smoother than silk voice echo through the house and into my room. He hasn't in the past 3 days called me into the living room, I hope he doesn't yell at me or something.

I hastily leave my room and head towards the sofa where he is mostly likely sitting, with the tv on ESPN or else he has a book in his hand. I still haven't figured out what he reads, probably some sports biography or something else equally lame.

His eyes lock onto mine stopping me in my tracks as I enter the room, instead of the grimace and frown his eyes are lighter and a crooked smile graces his lips. His broken leg is propped up on the coffee table and a chilled soda is in his free hand. His other hand rests along the backside of the couch, stretched out completely.

"Have a seat." He says his voice strong yet gentle completely opposite from anything I heard from him thus far.

I hesitantly situate myself on the edge of the sofa, not leaning back, still on guard about his complete 180.

"Why are you here Isabella?" He asks as he watches my eyes.

"It's Bella, and I thought you knew why I was here." I mumble and lean forward a bit letting my hair hide my face from his view.

"I know why my father sent you here, but why did you agree to come half way across the country to try and help someone you don't know, I could be an ax murder for all you know." His face serious but his eyes glimmer with an ounce of mirth.

"You're not bad, you may be physically able but you won't." I say turning to look at him for his reaction.

"You don't know anything about me…" He looks away briefly before focusing back towards me. "Why did you agree to this?" He repeats again.

"It was my idea that I leave, I didn't know where I would go, but my mother and Phil deserve to be happy and they can't do that while I am around. If anyone deserves to be happy it is my mom. I told her I wanted her to go with Phil, but she wouldn't leave me alone, when Phil talked to your Dad a few days ago he thought it would be the perfect opportunity for our situation." I say softly finding myself opening up to the strange man.

"What about your happiness, Bella?" My name rolls off his tongue making my nickname sound much more elegant than I ever thought it could.

"I have my whole life to find happiness, she needs this time with Phil…love only comes around once in your life and if you don't jump on it, surely it will fly away without you."

He looks at me for a long second.

"I need you to go to the store for me." He says with a strained voice, "My doctor doesn't want me overexerting myself, so you will have to manage on your own." He hands me a list, money, and holds out some car keys from his finger. I take the list and my hand slowly juts out to grab the keys but they are snatched out of my grasp.

"Don't wreak my car." He says firmly lowering the keys back towards my hand, I nod and stand up to go collect my things to go out. One minute his is cranky as a lion with a thorn in his paw and the next well I wouldn't say as meek as a lamb but many a lion after finishing off a 1000 lb. zebra.

I find his car in the large garage off to the side of the driveway, a shiny Volvo, oh wow. I falter in my steps before I am able to get to the driver's side door. The whole car probably costs more than any car I have ever driven combined. The engine purrs quietly beneath the hood and I slowly back out of the garage and drive, my luck and I will take a mirror off the car before even getting out of the garage.

I find the grocery store fairly easily, seeing as the small town only has one main street thus one small grocery store. Picking out everything on his list I note that he isn't requesting frozen dinners but actual ingredients for meals, does he cook I wonder? Shopping isn't one of my favorite things to do and I am more than happy to be done with the whole ordeal. I take a minute after getting into the car to drive towards the high school so that I would know where it is. Easy enough I think to myself as I turn around in the parking lot and head back towards the house. I pass the drive twice before I finally manage to find the gravel turn off.

Edward is in the kitchen one crutch under his arm while he stirs a pot of boiling water on the stove. I dump the groceries on the kitchen table and start to unload the rest from the car. When I come back from the car with the last of the groceries Edward is leaning against the counter again watching me. My feet manage to find themselves in a tight tangle and my face is saved from hitting the hard floor by the soft bread in one of the bags.

"Are you alright?" I hear a melodious laugh break out through the speech I know belong to Edward.

"I'm fine, don't laugh at me for being clumsy, you're probably still more graceful than I even with only one leg."

His eyes narrow at my comment but only for a second before he turns back to what I now know is a pot of spaghetti noodles. Putting the groceries away is done by trial and error seeing as the moody Edward hasn't said a word to me since my clumsy remark. As I finish putting the last can into the cabinet, I feel his eyes on me. I wearily turn around to face him expecting the hard lines of his face, but once again, I see that crooked smile. I feel like my heart stops, I surely know my brain does when he looks at me like that.

"Will you drain these while I start the sauce?" He asks and it takes me a moment to realize what he exactly asked me, but I get the hint as he hands me potholders and motions to the strainer in the kitchen sink.

My body moves into motion after a very delayed response I am sure he noticed.

The sauce he makes doesn't come directly from a jar of pre-made but rather from a can of tomatoes. I watch as his obvious cooking skills and wonder where he learned to cook, most bachelors don't even bother, at least from what I know from books and movies.

"Put the pasta on the dinning room table will ya?" He says politely again making my eyes widen again at his good mood, but I quickly comply not wanting him to go back to the sulking angry guy I first met.

Only seconds after I place the pasta on the table he follows me in with a couple plates and silverware. He takes a seat after placing the plates on the table in front of two chairs.

"The sauce?" He says motioning with his head towards the kitchen. I go and get the sauce knowing full well that he couldn't hobble it in here if he tried. I had a feeling dinner by himself was a mounting task.

I take a seat and we start eating the spaghetti in silence, while I work up my courage to ask him a question that has been haunting me all day.

"Edward?" I asks tentatively, "Why the change in attitude all of a sudden?"

He lets out a deep breath and looks up from his plate, "I am tired of trying to ignore you, so I thought it would be easier if we were friendly so I am trying." He says briefly before continuing to eat.

"Why would you want to ignore me?" I ask confused by his response.

"I am not the best of company at the moment, I am resentful, angry, and depressed; I do not want to take it all out on you when you are just trying to help." He gives me a sad smile that doesn't reach his eyes but more or less teeters between real and fake.

The rest of the meal is in silence and I clean up the kitchen directly after, placing the leftovers in the fridge and carefully washing all the dishes. I head back to my room, my mind swims with the conversation Edward, and I shared. It is distracting to think that he might not hate me like I previously thought.

I fall asleep early, but it is a restless sleep. At one point I open my eyes, the darkness looms over me and I could almost swear I saw Edward standing in the doorway of my bedroom. I blink my eyes and he is gone, I roll over and push the silly dream out of my mind. Why would he be watching me?


	4. Chapter 4

Okay so I have missed school before but never this early in the year, I wonder what it will be like changing schools and not having really started my classes at all before I left. I had the first two weeks of school before Phil came home with his good news. Now it is the end of the first week of September and I start school on Monday. Nothing here has changed since that first day we had dinner together, it is the only meal we sit down to eat together, and the only one we actually have that requires cooking.

Today I am sitting in my room avoiding the front room where Edward is watching his team play ball on TV. He is not in a good mood they are losing. Probably some important game for them since the season has to be ending soon. I wonder what position Edward did play on his team. I stay in my room still thinking about how my next week of school will be. September, this is one of the months I dread. At least no body knows here, they all are oblivious to the fact that I will be having a birthday soon. I am thinking lucky me, oh how I loath birthdays.

As 5 o'clock rolls around I venture out into the living area and notice that Edward for once isn't on the couch or in the kitchen. Where did he go? Maybe he is in the bathroom or his bedroom; I shrug and head towards the kitchen to find something to make for dinner. Burgers it is I decide seeing as they wouldn't require much thinking or cooking skills. As the burgers start to fry in a pan I pull out some frozen French fries to plop in the oven, and then I head into the living room to sit on the couch while everything cooks.

About 20 minutes later I am taking the burgers off the skillet and the fries from the oven, when the backdoor off the kitchen bangs open startling me out of my skin. Relief washes over me when I see that it is Edward, but the relief is gone when I see that he isn't steady on his feet and is sporting a large gash on his forehead. The sour smell of alcohol burns my nose as he draws closer, his crutch at his side his only lifeline keeping him on his feet.

"Are you okay?" I ask feeling a little frantic over what to do.

"Yeah, I guess," He slurs and hops up on to the counter, his plaster cast banging loudly against the kitchen cabinets and finally settling at a slight angle jutting outward. His crutch tumbles to the floor of the kitchen, it clacks against the tiles. "Awww, you made dinner for me." He sloppily says as he leans back against the wall.

"How'd you hurt your head?" I ask totally ignoring his last comment.

"Um, there's this hill behind the house…I fell and hit a rock." He says hopping down off the counter and gracefully as a drunk man can lands on only one foot, the fridge door his support as he barely manages to stay upright.

I cautiously hand him his crutch and motion towards the kitchen table thankfully, he takes a seat. I have never had the responsibility of dealing with a drunk first hand, all I have is what movies and books tell me which isn't much. Every drunk guy on a movie is either insanely silly or mean, usually depends on weather it's a comedy or a real dramatic role. So lets see keep him happy that is generally a good idea seeing as I don't want him to turn into one of those not so friendly drunks. Feed him…yes or no? My brain hurts why is this so hard to figure out?

Well, I place the food in front of him along with some water, I learned last year in health class that alcohol dehydrates you so water seems like a good choice. Surprisingly he picks up the burger and takes a large bit and proceeds to thank me with his mouth stuffed completely full. I take a seat and quickly ingest my food cause well if he throws up I don't want to still be eating, I would never be able to finish.

After he finishes eating he allows me to help him to the couch where he literally falls into the cushions.

"You know Bella, you should really stay away from me I am not good for you." He says sounding a little more coherent than he did when he first walked into the house.

"Does your head hurt? I should clean that up for you, I'm going to see if you have any peroxide in the house, so stay put." I say ignoring his comment, not sure what he means, not sure if he knows what he means.

I head into the bathroom and find no peroxide but do find alcohol wipes, I guess these will have to do. He remained in the same spot, I cautiously approach him from the right side and pull the swab out of the wrapper.

"Okay, hold still." I say placing my hand on his head, he seems to relax at my touch. I press the wet swab to his head and he jerks backwards letting out a low hiss. It only takes one more swipe from me to thoroughly clean the wound, luckily it isn't very deep.

I plop down on the couch, feeling the stress of dealing with him like this.

"Why?" My mouth spits out before I even realize what I said.

"Why what?" He mumbles turning towards me his fingers poking his head where I cleaned his cut.

"Why were you drinking?" I say slowly are drunk people slow….people seem to have to repeat things an awful lot in movies to drunk people.

"Several reasons, my team lost, my leg is busted, I may never play again, leg hurts, my team lost…hot girl I can't have, life just is torturing me." He slurs out once again relapsing into drunken speech I can hardly understand.

"Everything will be alright." I tell him but I think it flies over his head.

"You start school soon right?" He questions smiling silly at me.

"Yeah, Monday." I reply feeling a little uneasy with him like this but I push it out of my mind.

"Good, you shouldn't be around me too much, I mean talking to me is good we have to live together and I do need your help with things but…" He trails off seemingly unwilling to continue his thought or he just forgot he was talking or something.

"You're not gonna be mean to me again are you?" I question a little terrified that he would go back to calling me girl and ordering me around.

"I couldn't be mean to you Bella, if I tried…Hell I can't even stop myself from wanting to talk to you let alone treat you that way, I'm sorry it is just that…never mind."

"Good, I think I like this friendly side of you, not so much the part where you drink too much and stumble down the hills in the back yard, I don't want to see you get hurt cause I could never carry you back to the house. I would do more harm than good."

He laughs out loud for a good 2 minutes before stopping. I wonder what I said that was funny, I am just telling the truth.

After that he seems content to stay quiet and just lie there with his eyes closed. After about 15 minutes I realize he passed out and I head back to my room. I snuggle into my bed and get out a good book to pass the time till I fall asleep. Classic novels always give me the best dreams, at least that is what I thought. Once again I have that same dream where I see Edward watching me sleep. This time he isn't at my door but closer staring down at me a mere two feet from my bed. If I wasn't sure it was a dream I could have reached out and touched him. I close my eyes in my dream and roll over content to simply ignore his presence in my dream world.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The next morning when I ventured out into the living area it was deserted, Edward was gone and the entire house was quiet. All the curtains and blinds were drawn, the house darkened considerably, you would think he was a vampire of something keeping out the light in hope of not getting scorched. I didn't think anything of it, best not to fret of details when it comes to the strange man I happen to be living with. Then it pops into my head the reasoning behind the lack of light, don't hungover people walk around with sunglasses on in movies, bright lights must be bad for hangovers. If I would have know I needed to well informed about this crap I would have done some research before moving in here. I just hope he doesn't make a habit out of this drinking thing.

I get my breakfast and head back to my room I only have two more days before school starts and I need to get my bookbag in order. Notebooks, pens, paper, pencils, and my planner I put it all into the bag and lob it over to the side of my room. I hear a loud noise like an engine close by, is Edward expecting visitors. I ignore it for the most part until I hear a swift knock, knock, knock on the front door. I start to get up and go to the front door but the second I open my door a very jumbled Edward staggers past me and to the front door.

I just stand there like and idiot watching as he peeks through the blinds and proceeds to the front door a little less hurried. He opens the door and slowly bends over and I have to stop myself from gawking at the view I get of his butt, I notice for the first time he is in boxers and a t-shirt. How in the world did I miss that? I have never seen Edward in anything less than his standard button down shirt over a tee and carefully placed jeans accommodating his cast. My eyes cast upwards towards the ceiling in hope to distract myself from what my teenage hormones want to peruse at my leisure. I might just have to do some research on him later…maybe there will be some pictures where I can do just that without the notion of getting caught.

I look at him again and see him standing at the door with a large box, the UPS man must have been the truck I heard. I hear the front door shut.

"It is for you Bella." He states holding it out to me at the door, I quickly force my feet to move in his direction to take the large box and my stomach about falls out of my body at the thought that my mom and Phil sent me a birthday present. "What did you forget something?" He asks eyeing the large package looking eager to know what someone sent me.

I take that box and set it on the coffee table and sit on the couch to open it, as dread washes over me. Edward joins me on the couch obviously still waiting to see what I got, nosy.

I open the box and inside my mother didn't just send me stuff she actually wrapped it up with birthday paper bows and all. I pull the box out and lean back on the couch pulling the offensive box onto my lap and groan, I didn't want anything. How many years does it take to beat that thought into your mother's head.

"What's wrong? Aren't people usually happy to get presents. And from the looks of it a birthday present. When is your birthday? Why didn't you tell me, I could get you something? How old are you anyway? 18?" Edwards rattles on with enthusiasm I simply stare at the bright blue wrapping paper with birthday cakes on it.

"I hate birthday presents." I mumble quietly as I start to open it.

"What no body hates presents."

"Well, I do…I also hate surprises." I grumble as I start to open the second box to find out what exactly my mother thought I just had to have.

"We should go out to eat tonight for your birthday." Edward says.

"Today is not my birthday." I state holding up a dark blue dress my mother sent me. On the front of it a little piece of white paper is pinned to it saying 'Try it on, I am sure it will fit, you need to be more girly sometimes Bella…you are 17 now almost grown up.' It isn't a bad looking dress, but it is just that I don't have any reason to wear a dress. It is one of those everyday dresses girls are supposed to wear instead of jeans and a t-shirt. I never got the point.

I set the dress down on the couch and turn my attentions back to the box. Inside I find a hooded sweatshirt, sporting the logo of Edward's team, pinned to the front of this item is the same white paper but in Phil's writing. 'Thought this would balance out the dress, hang in there. Happy Birthday be happy only one more year and you are and adult.' I smile at what he wrote, since he actually sent me something I would wear not just hang in the closet to gather dust.

I peer into the box and see that there is one last thing. Okay clearly my mother wants to torture me and possibly embarrass me like all get out. In the bottom is a package I didn't even know existed until now, something out of a horror movie. Foundation, blush, eyeshadows, lipsticks, mascara, and many other things I don't have names for along with a book, 'Make up for dummies'. It is all placed neatly into a plastic make up bag. I grimace and decide to leave it there. No need for Edward to see my mother's gentle coxing for me to become more feminine.

I notice Edward had gone quiet and I look over at him to see that he has already seen everything I got for my birthday, a small smile plays across his face.

"So when is your birthday?" He asks a second after he notices that I looked at him.

"Never." I grumble holding up the hoodie again and smiling when I realize it is about two sizes too large, Phil truly understands me sometimes.

"Isn't that a little big." Edward asks and I just shrug and proceed to pull it on over what I have on.

I swim in it and could probably fit a whole nother person in here with me. "It's perfect." I say wrapping my arms around myself as the feel of new sweatshirt softness envelopes me.

"What about the dress you gonna try that one on?" Edward asks picking it up to hold in front of us. His eyes dart up to read my mothers note and then he glances back at me. "17 huh?"

"I will never wear it so I don't need to try it on." I state simply.

"When do you turn 17 Bella?" He asks again for what the third or forth time now.

"Will you shut up about it if I tell you?" I ask frustrated now.

"You can always hope I will."

"You better, it's the 13th." I grumble.

**Sorry it is short but if you want updates it is either i update often with what my brain gives me which might be long or short depending on the chapter or i try and write long chapters and who knows how long between updates then.... well anyway i hope you enjoyed**


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay here is the next chapter and characters might be a bit ooc here but hope you like once again thanks for all the feedback from reviews to alerts and faves...this is really my first bella/edward fanfic that is anything more than a one shot and never expected so many reveiws so fast :) ENjoy**

Chapter 6

I awake Sunday morning to the play by play of a football game, how do I know it is football cause believe it or not I actually have a preference and if it must be sports football is by far the best. I wonder who is playing, if it any team I actually know. I usually just pick out who has the best mascot or which outfits are cute and root for that team if my all time favorite team isn't playing the Colts. There is just something about having a team named after a baby horse that gets to me, not to mention blue and white jerseys. My mom always tells me that the Quarter Back is a good looking but I simply don not see it.

I start to head out into the living room in my pj's but stop when I hear a male voice I don't recognize shouting at the team on the TV. I quickly step back into my bedroom to get dressed before heading out to see who ever is here. I throw on a pair of comfy jeans and dig through my suitcase for my one and only football shirt. Sad to say my mother was with me and she is the person who picked it out, so girly football shirt I do own. At least it isn't a pink jersey, it is a halter top white and dark blue with the horseshow logo on is. Yeah I have to agree it is cute, but I throw on a zip up white hoodie to cover my shoulders, I don't feel as exposed with the sweatshirt on over it.

After heading to the bathroom I wonder out into the living room but halt when I see not just one person I don't know but two. Of course Edward would have friends, I don't know why I never thought of it before. Before I can take another step a commercial break comes on and all three of the men turn to notice me still stuck in the threshold of the hallway. I smile, not sure what to say or do exactly.

"Morning Bella, Sorry if we woke you, but I see you already know why. Choice of teams could be improved but…anyway I would like you to meet my good friends, Jasper and Emmett." Edward rattles off and finally introduces me to is friends somewhat.

"Hi." I say shyly as I look the two men over. One is what I would call a blonde but yet his hair isn't light or thin, but has a wave to it. His face is narrow and he holds himself with a calculating almost introverted look, I doubt very much it was his voice I had heard earlier. The other is large, brawny, with dark hair and at the moment he has a cheesy grin on his face, denoting himself with a childlike essence.

"Hey there Bella, high school student right." The dark haired one states as if just realizing who I am.

"Yeah, junior." I reply shortly and head into the kitchen leaving the three of them so that I can get me something to drink. As I pour myself some orange juice I hear the three of them talking in hushed tones, but all I can hear is the commercial for light beer. I grab my juice and decide I might as well join the guys in the living room and finally find out who is playing. I take a seat on the floor seeing as the couch and the other chairs are occupied. I lean my back against the coffee table and turn my eyes to the tv just as the game starts up again.

I peer at the top of the screen to see who is winning and who exactly the teams are with my luck one of the teams will have a cute mascot so I have someone to root for, nothing worse than sitting through a game between the Steelers and the Browns—bad colors and no cute cuddly animal names. Ha, I really sound girly now my mother would be so proud, if only my football knowledge ended there she would be happy but when I know what is happening without being told my mother's jaw drops and eyes bug out. Football to her is only something to watch for the eye candy.

Okay so The Bears and The Seahawks are playing in Chicago. I think I will root for the Bears since I have no clue what Seahawks look like, my guess some kind of ugly bird. Bear now they can be cute but not so much as a baby bear, oh well.

"So who are you guys rooting for?" I ask the three of them during a replay.

"Bears, of course." Edward replies.

"Speak for yourself, the Seahawks are gonna crush your team." The burly one shoots back while the other just watches but looks like he agrees with his friend and not Edward.

"Well, I'm gonna go for the Bears, cause birds just aren't as cute as bears can be." I say and receive a chuckle before I flick my eyes back at the tv. "Get it." I almost shout but contain it to a horse whisper as one of the birdies fumbles the ball and the other team recovers it.

"So why do you like the Bears?" I ask Edward when the next commercial comes on.

"Um, I thought you knew I was from Chicago," He replies.

"Sorry, I didn't Google you yet, so I only know what you've told me."

Jasper laughs at that and eyes Edward with a smile that plainly says something silently between them.

"Yet huh? So you plan on looking me up in the future." Edward smirks.

"Games back on." I reply and swiftly turn around but just my luck within two seconds of coming back from commercial break one of the teams calls timeout.

"So the Bears huh, well their quarter back this year is pretty cute, what's his name Orton is it." I say to change to topic and look back to see three blank faces all concentrating on the commercial about diet soda.

Conversation is pretty much based on the actual game until half time that is when all three guys head into the kitchen in search of some major munchies. I follow them and hop up on the counter top with a can of soda to watch them fumble around with making nachos.

"So Bella you're from Arizona right why are you a Colts fan?" The lanky guy, who I discerned earlier to be Jasper asks as he leans against the counter beside the oven where Emmett and gimpy are fighting over weather to preheat or just pop in the nachos.

"I like the color blue their jerseys are and I know it sounds stupid but colts, you know the baby horse variety are cute and cuddly. Plus they have a decent quarter back and a good offensive line, and oh yeah they did win the Super bowl recently."

"Okay, I guess you made an informed decision." He replies.

"So you start school tomorrow huh? You gonna brag to everyone that your living with Edward, famous baseball player, you know it was national news not everyday does a player get attacked like he did." Jasper states the last part quietly.

"Why would I tell a bunch of people I don't know anything about myself let alone who and why I am living here? High School is filled with a bunch of gossipy girls who are more worried about how slutty their new school clothes look or which allegedly hot guy is going to ask her to the spring dance. I would rather listen to the pointless lectures, take my tests, be done with it all. I'm sure this high school will revolve around which ever girl the boys all think is the hottest, I am glad to stay away from that crowd any day." I explain and look up only to find that I have the undivided attention of all three men, burning smell and smoke coming from the oven that is probably on the highest setting. "Earth to Edward, smoke means fire take out the nachos!" I shout at him and cough as the dark smoke fills the kitchen.

We all jump into action, the three guys try to get the blackened nachos out of the smoky oven while I open the front and back doors, just as I do the fire alarms start to blare loudly in our ears. So much for making half time munchies.


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay s don't get mad that i skip the rest of Sunday afternoon i tried to write something but it just led to the delete button so here you go next chapter thanks again for the reviews and alerts and faves :) EnJoY**

Chapter 7

Monday morning arrives way to fast. After Edward and Emmett tried to burn the house down by way of burnt nachos, we only caught the last 8 minutes of the Bears Game. The Bears won leaving a blissfully smug Edward once they left. My nerves are getting the best of me now that I am standing in the kitchen, dressed and ready for school. I am sporting my new sweatshirt Phil sent me and a pair of lose wide leg jeans, I just don't get that new fad about jeans looking more like tights if I wanted to have something stick to my legs ridiculously taut I would wear panty hose or stretchy pants. My toast and coffee are not succeeding in making my anxiety about my first day go away. Edward is thankfully still asleep, his car keys hanging by the door where I left them after going to the store earlier this week.

I grab my bag and head out the front door to the shinny car that I know is just going to stand out, at least it did at the grocery store. The school is practically empty when I arrive, I guess the kids here are not up for arriving early. Early in my mind is always better than late, that is unless you decide to not come at all. I head towards the office without much fear of getting lost, signs and arrows point me in the right direction.

The lady at the front desk is not helpful for the most part but allows me to have my so called schedule which is completely different than my previous one back home, but I persevere. With my schedule and admittance slip in hand I head out to find the classroom which my first period class is supposed to occur. Math, great worst things first I guess and not just any math but Pre-calculus, what is wrong with these people didn't they notice that my grades in math do not deem me a place in a calculus class, what is with that pre thing anyway. I was taking geometry at my old school, which is far from pre anything.

I sigh this is going to be a long day, which it surprises me when lunch comes faster than expected. I slowly follow the students from my last class towards the cafeteria, walking slower than usual wondering how this school operates at lunch. I slink back when I notice the long line and head towards the soda machines instead. Liquid caffeine for me it is. I grab my can and find an empty table not worrying about the stares and scoffs I receive for not joining my peers when they ask. I do however smile politely when several girls join me at my empty table. I recognize them from my classes but I have no desire to carry on a conversation with any of them.

"So did your family just move here?" A blonde girl asks with a slight sneer, what kind of question is that how else would I be here, under normal circumstances that is.

"Yeah." I reply shortly not wanting to elaborate that I am living with a family friend, who happens to be the guy the tv was raging about a few weeks ago, that plays for the nearest minor league team—which they probably know more about than I do.

"You know rumors are that you are driving Edward Cullen's Volvo." A snotty looking red head states with a smirk and a look pleading for me to deny that I know him.

"Family friend, he loaned it to me cause I don't own a car." I pull out of thin air hoping it sound plausible, no one should be able to find out that I live with him right.

"Wow, you know Edward Cullen, he is so incredibility hot! I saw him in town last winter but you know how rare it is that he comes into town, he doesn't even date local girls his age." One of them exclaims.

"He probably goes out to one of the cities, you know looking for some upper class girl, cause you know he could have his pick." The blonde chimes in.

"I heard he is celibate and a recluse." The quieter girl sitting next to me adds, but of course, she is ignored beyond a glance from the other three.

The talk rattles on not deterring from Edward and his amazing good looks for one second until the bell rings. I want to run for the hills and be done with this school. I rush out of the cafeteria not noticing where any of my new 'best friends' headed, I know I was off to PE then, Science, and I ended my day with free period. PE was just a continuation of gossip central except with a different group of kids and this time the topic was me and not Edward. Seeing as the class is composed mainly of boys I can see why they wouldn't gossip about Edward but why my name is mentioned is beyond me. Okay so I am the new girl get over it already.

Finally the end, it is over, I stop in the office and drop off all my paperwork and start to head out to the Volvo. I roll my eyes when I spot a group of guys standing around the car admiring it. Great, I think now I have to try not to run over a bunch of guys with car on the brain, that leaves them about as brain dead as when they are lusting after a cute girl.

"This your car new girl?" A spunky little beanpole asks me as I walk up towards it.

"I'm borrowing it." I state simply and try and weave through the boy herd.

"Oh so I guess that means you won't let me take it for a spin?" Tall, pimply and cheesy asks running his hands through his blond locks and giving me a classic golden retriever mixed with Pomeranian pout, you know the one that would be convincing if not so utterly meek.

I chuckle and unlock the car and squeeze my body through the tiny opening so as to not let one of the roving buzzards grasp the door, thus delaying me and attempting a ill fated attempt at conversation. I so do not want to talk car, I probably would sound stupid cause I know more than the average blonde about cars but technical names of parts has always thrown me a loop and thus I have my own names for the things I do know. It gets on Phil's nerves when I ask him to explain something to me and when I bring it up again something as simple as the wiper blades on a car and I might refer to them as the swishy swipey things that clear the rain away. Not a good conversation to have with the 5 or 6 boys wanting to sweep me out of the drivers seat so they can speed down the road and get their rocks off.

I honk the horn and finally a path clears and I am able to head home.

He smiles at me when I walk into the house, smiles today is not a day for smiles I want to strangle the local gossip queen and force-feed her to the freaks in my gym class while pitting them against the parking lot hoard. I just want some peace, so I scowl at him, toss my bag on the floor in front of the tv and collapse onto the sofa beside him.

"Bad day?" He asks still smiling.

"Beyond. Why do you have to be so incredibility hot?" I ask making sure to use my fingers as quotation marks in the air directly in his line of sight.

He seems to go into shock at my question so I continue.

"They recognized your car, ambushed me in the lunch room, and rammed all the local gossip about you down my throat. I'm just lucky they don't know I am staying here. If I have to hear that blonde rant about your body and your incredibly chiseled abs for another 40 minutes I am going to strangle her. I mean how in the world does she even know you have…uh a 6 pack or what ever the term is?"

He smirks at me and I gape realizing what I just said…I am talking to him about his body like he isn't sitting right in front of me. I burry my face in my hands embarrassment rifling through me, and I do not wanting him to see the horrified look on my face.

"Would you like to observe first hand what my abs look like? I'm sure you can find a picture or two online if you try hard enough but I doubt they would be as good as you can see with your own two eyes." He smirks his hands trail down to the hem of his shirt.

I gape at him, my eyes wide at his suggestion; quickly I get up and run out of the room and into the seclusion of my room.

I give myself a good two hours to calm down after embarrassing myself in front of Edward and venture out to see what is going on with dinner. He has it mostly finished when I sneak into the kitchen.

"Just in time." He says with a smile I appreciate much more than that cocky smirk he throws around.

I take that to mean that I should proceed to put things onto the table since his stir fry looks and smells just about done. He doesn't bring up this afternoon at diner of which I am so thankful for. He must have been trying to rile me earlier with is blindly provocative comment about me looking at his body.

After dinner I head into my room to do a bit of my math homework, have a little to catch up on in that class more so than any of the others. Before long I am beyond tired and I crawl into bed, just before I fall asleep I see him leaning against my open door frame silently watching me. I try to force my eyes open, to ask him what he wants but I lose my battle and my heavily lidded eyes sink closed.

**Okay so i just thoght i would let you all know that my inspiration for this came from a country music song.....anyone guess which one it is a Male singer sings it....i'll let you know which song next chapter i'm thinking about incorportating it into the story it would be funny.....:))**


	8. Chapter 8

**Okay so here we go yeee haw for this chapter and away we go......EnJOY laugh **

**Love all the reviews alerts and faves **

Chapter 8

Tuesday morning arrives too soon and when I sleepily head out into the living room I am surprised to see Edward awake and eating toast and drinking coffee on the sofa.

I mumble, "Morning," and proceed to make my own toast and fix my coffee before joining him on the couch.

"We have to go to see my doctor today, I was going to tell you last night but you were asleep when I went to tell you? So after school hurry back so that we can get to Port Angles in time." Edward explains with a yawn.

I yawn seeing his, " Kay." I say softly still trying to wake up.

"I hope you have a better day, Bella…you know you should tell those girls to shut up if you don't want to hear it."

"I'm sure they will stop if I ignore them enough, I don't want to cause any conflict." I shrug and spill my coffee a little over my hand in the process. "Oops." I grumble and bend my head down to lick the coffee off the top of my hand. Edward abruptly stands beside and hurries into the kitchen…a few minutes later he comes back with a full cup of coffee for himself and a towel for me even though the coffee didn't really make a mess.

I head off to school hoping for a silent day, why can't all the kids ignore me? I was never popular at my old school why do are these kids so eager to talk with me? I arrive early again and head to my first class hoping to avoid conversing with the Edward obsessed girls. No luck one of them corners me at my desk standing directly in front of the only way out.

"You are soooo lucky to know Edward, I mean he must be a really great friend if he lets you borrow his car for so long." She exclaims way to enthusiastically for 7:30 in the morning.

"Yeah, I guess but it's not like he is using it at the moment." I mumble wanting to beat my head into the desk or better yet hers.

"I know that is too bad to cause he was like destined for the majors, I just know it, but now…" She trails off looking slightly saddened, I wonder why.

Later that day during lunch I grab my soda and am bound and determined to avoid those girls at all costs. I mean desperate, I already had to deal with the 4 of them during some of my classes, not to mention in between classes. They sure can talk a mile a minute cause I never heard that many words fly in 2 minutes. I grab my soda from the vending machine and glance around the room.

I know if I sit at an empty table I am sure to have the four of them talk my ear off again. Scanning the lunch room I see the morons from my gym class and at a different table I see the guy with the mutt like pout from the parking lot. I finally see a table full of people I don't recognize, score I b-line over to the table and plop down in the only available seat and pop the top on my can. I know bold right, I am really that desperate not to her oh so blonde and dumb swoon over Edward and his devilishly good looks.

I scan the table of unknown faces and smile politely at the 6 guys seated before me, noticing for the first time that they look rather young and are a little dumbstruck at my appearance at their table.

"Hi, I'm Bella; you probably don't know me since I am new and all but is sitting here okay." I smile sweetly at them hoping they don't make me get up.

"Sure, sure…no problem nice to meet you Bella, I'm Jacob Black." I glance at the boy speaking and see a tanned boy looking rather cute for how young he looks. Long dark hair pulled back behind the nape of his neck, deep brown eyes glimmer back at me along with the shy smile that plays at his lips.

"Thanks." I mumble taking a deep drink of my soda before looking over the other guys at the table. "So do the rest of you have names or should I just assign numbers such as 'Jake's friend 1." I point to the guy sitting to the right of Jacob. "Jake's friend 2," I continue toward the right, I stop and smirk at the guys who are trying to find their tongues.

I raise my eyebrows at Jacob and he clears his throat, guess he is having trouble finding his voice too.

"Embry, Quil, Jared, Seth, and Paul…" Jacob says pointing out his friends.

"Good, maybe tomorrow you all will learn how to speak, you know that is quite easy for even dogs to do on command."

A few of them chuckle and others laugh nervously at my comment. Geesh.

I manage to pry out of Jake that they are sophomores and freshmen. All of them live in La Push, which isn't very far from here, though not many kids from their town decide to enroll in Forks High School they obviously did. As I scan the lunch room I see a few other obviously Native American students and wonder if they too are from La Push. Lunch passes much faster today than yesterday even though conversation with Jacob is like pulling his teeth, he needs to relax a bit.

The parking lot crowd avoids me today, thankfully I guess knowing that the car isn't mine is incentive enough to stay away, no chance in driving something that isn't mine to allow.

I head back to the house and find Edward waiting for me on the front steps, two travel mugs of coffee beside him. I smile and get out to help him into the car. I open the passenger's side door and head over to him on the steps. I grab the coffees and wait while he hobbles over to the car awkwardly. I close the door for him and head back over to the driver's seat with the travel mugs in hand. He takes his immediately and I place mine in the cup holder and shift into reverse.

The radio is set to the country music station I had on for my ride home from school, I almost turn it off not wanting to annoy Edward with my taste in music but stop myself when I see him turn it but a bit to hear the brief news report, as I turn onto the highway.

After the news is over the first song they, play is "That Summer" by Garth brooks, and as I drive I expect Edward to change the station but for some reason he doesn't. The content of the song almost makes me blush sitting next to him, I would put this song in with those songs I don't care to listen to in front of certain people—my mom, Phil, and of course just about any guy including Edward and he is sitting a foot from me.

I glance at him out of the corner of my eye but keep my eyes on the road and both hand on the wheel as I fight my brain to keep it on task and not in a daydream. As the song comes to a close Edward turns the radio off and looks out the window for a moment before turning towards me.

"So do you listen to country music often?" He asks still watching me.

"Yeah, though I listen to a wide variety of other styles too." I squeak out.

"You like the song that was just on? Who sings it?"

"Ummmm, Garth Brooks I think." I say but didn't have to think about that one, of course I know who sings it.

"What do you think about what the song is about? Any moral objections to the fact that it is about an older woman obviously taking advantage of a teenaged boy?" He asks casually and I inwardly cringe never imagining that Edward and I would talk about sex, especially like this, in his car where I can't run away.

"Well, don't think the guy minded much according to the song." I say trying to avoid the question.

"If it were reversed and it was a teenaged girl instead do you think it would change the dynamics of the song? Would the song still be a hit?" He asks and obviously doesn't know much about country music cause a song comes to mind very similar to what he is asking.

"Ummm, I think that has already been explored by a different artist, Deana Carter, "Strawberry Wine," it's uhhhh about a girl and a college guy…ummm…" I mumble again feeling out of place in this conversation.

"Hmmmm, have to look that one up later, but back to the first question now."

What was the first question again? Am I really talking about sex with him?

"What was it again?" I stammer feeling my face heat as I glance at him again.

"Do you personally find the subject matter objectionable?" He asks and I know that is not how he asked before.

"No, both parties were obviously willing participants in both songs so why should I have any moral objections," I say finally finding my voice sounding like my own.

After a few minutes of silence, Edward turns the music back on but to a Classical station. I drink my coffee and keep my mouth shut, but scarcely believe he could find any morality questions concerning Classical compositions. I am more than relieved to pull into the doctors office parking lot.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

I awkwardly follow Edward into the building where the doctor's office is, the waiting room is typical chairs line the walls and magazines cloud the tables. He checks with the nurse at the window while I take a seat. I pick up a magazine, one of those women's magazines loaded with celebrities and other articles that never held my interest, but it is either this or some car magazine with a really expensive car on the front. I flip the magazine open just as Edward joins me on my right. Before I can even glance down at the magazine, I feel Edward watching me, more like hovering over me reading what is on my lap. I glance down to see what he finds so intriguing that he is reading over my shoulder, my eyes widen as I look at the title of the article, 'Tips and Tricks for being a Bad Girl in Bed'. Not only does the article have an embarrassing title but stick figure pictures and in bold print a checklist of things to try. I quickly slam the magazine shut.

"Hey, I was reading that." Edward smirks as his eyes slowly travel up towards my face from the closed magazine on my lap.

I feel my face blushing but I can't look away from his gaze, his green eyes seem to lock mine into place.

"Cullen, Edward Cullen." I nurse calls from the front of the room. He looks up and I try to sink further into the chair than I already am as Edward hobbles over to the nurse and follows her through the door.

Geesh, first the conversation on the way here and now he sees me have a magazine open to probably the raciest article in the entire publication. Boy oh boy sex is sure in the air today, and now I can't help but think about him and it together. Teenage hormones be damned this is just not the road we need to go down, I live with him, and on top of that he is way older than me. He would never in a million years look at me with any other eyes than the ones that see a gawky teenager who has seen him down and out, probably the lowest he has ever felt.

I am drawn back to the article after a few minutes of waiting I can't help myself, but to look. I never really glanced at one of these magazines in the past, as I skim through it I feel my face blush just as the thought of the suggestions. Wow, I guess I am not gonna be a bad girl in bed, that is if I ever get a guy into one. I'm not quite a beauty queen, not quite anything, if you ask me.

I quickly fold the magazine shut and pick up the one about cars when I hear Edward's voice from the hall. I glance down at the picture and see a curvy looking sports car the caption underneath the cute little photo says Aston Martin Vanquish, what a silly name for a car I think to myself.

"Ready to go?" Edward says looking down at me bring me out of my thoughts about the silly car name.

"Sure." I smile and start out the door, Edward follows just behind me looking a little more positive than when we first arrived.

We are silent until we reach the interior of the car, "So good news?" I ask finally finding my courage to probe him for answers.

"Yeah, the scan was good, the bones haven't jostled out of place and if all goes well I should have my cast off soon, replaced with a brace." He says smiling slightly.

"Great." I say pulling out onto the highway to head back home.

"So, I take it you didn't finish reading that article since you were admiring the sports car in a different magazine?" I blush at the mention of the article but other than that I manage to remain calm.

"Uh, yeah it was an Ashy Martian Vanishing, I think." He laughs aloud his hand flying to his forehead as he does do, what did I say that was so funny.

"Bella, it is an Aston Martin Vanquish." He manages to say briefly before laughing again.

"That's what I said didn't I? I say furrowing my brows and squnching up my nose as I think to my pronunciation of the name.

"No I believe what you said sounds more like a science fiction character or something."

"Well, I liked it; it's curvy and sleek looking who cares what it is called." I shrug and focus on the road.

He chuckles again but doesn't bring up the topic of silly car names or sex both of which I am eternally grateful for. Cars and sex two topics I am not versed well in, and both of which I have hardly any experience in, although I may know more about cars than sex at least from the hands on experience aspect.

Once we arrive home Edward heads into the living room to call his parents, apparently they expect updates about his leg after doctor's appointments. I myself head into the kitchen to start dinner, and try to block out his conversation with his mother. I fry up some potatoes and throw some ham steaks into the broiler, nothing to fancy but this will be quick and tasty.

By the time, I have all the food on the table Edward is still on the phone with his mother. I try not to listen but I hear the end of the conversation.

"Yeah, I gotta go Bella has dinner on the table now." I hear him say and then listen what ever his mother's response to that is.

"She's fine, real helpful…yeah mom I'm being nice…no…she's just well yeah I guess."

I busy myself with pouring some ice tea for myself when I realize I am hearing part of a conversation about me. When I walk back to the table Edward is already off the phone and seated helping himself. I smile and take a seat across from him.

"Sorry my mother likes to talk." He smiles.

"No, that's great that you and your mother get along so well." I say frowning as I think of my own mother and what our conversations sound like, mostly like yelling, bickering, or the occasional one-sided discussion where I just listen.

"What? You and your mother don't get along well?" He says sounding concerned; it must just be my imagination that he is. Why would he really care weather I get along with my mom?

"Not really most of the time I feel like the responsible one, more like the parent in the relationship. I guess she can't help it if she never really grew up." I poke at my potatoes with my fork, "It was great when I was little she was a great best friend when I was about 12 but it's a little creepy when your mother wants to help you get all girly before taking you to the mall where she proceeds to point out guys for you to go hit on." I snap my mouth shut as I realize that I am opening up to him, telling him my life story over ham and fried potatoes. Why do I always find that he is so easy to talk to?

"Sorry, you don't want to hear about my silly mother." I mumble and start poking at my ham.

"It is quite alright, I guess that explains a lot about you…"

I shrug and try and concentrate solely on eating the food on my plate. We fall into a comfortable silence after that. I clear the table and do the dishes before heading to my room. I have been leaving my door open unless I am changing so I can hear Edward if he needs anything, I know he can hobble over to my door and knock but I don't want him to feel like he is bothering me.

At about 9:30 I am ready for bed and all but asleep when I see a familiar figure standing in my doorframe again.

"Goodnight." I mutter sleepily and I swear I hear him say something in return but exhaustion over takes me.


	10. Chapter 10

**Okay so here is another chapter thanks ** **Nicholh2008 for the idea it kinda got skewed a bit but anyhow thanks might use it the other way later hmmmm well it is a little longer for those wanting more but my brain only lets me have so much sometimes actually you are lucky you are getting a chapter tonight cause i wasn't gonna update this but i have writers block on everything elese i am writing so here you go ENJOY **

**Thanks for all the support love reading your reveiws and hearing what you all have to say already breech 100 wow :)**

Chapter 10

Today I am officially 17 no big deal seeing as I already received all my presents I have nothing to dread or fear right. Wrong big surprise on the coffee pot today a not from Edward.

Bella, 

Happy Birthday! 

Don't make any plans for after school we are going out. Wear something nice and I am sure you're wondering what that mean am I right. Well, that dress you got for your birthday should do very nicely, it'll make your mother happy, we'll even take pictures so you can give them to her next time you make her mad. HaHa 

We'll leave around 4 just so you know and don't worry we will be home early since it is a school night and all. 

Edward

Crap.

Crap.

This is all I need to have to think about all day is going 'out' with Edward. Where exactly is he taking me if I need to be dressed up I hope I don't trip and fall cause you know dresses tend not to cover much once your feet fly up over your head or something ridiculous only clumsy people do. I am so distracted by the whole note I stand there reading it over and over until I finally realize it is time to leave. I shove the note in my pocket, grab my bag, and rush out to the car.

I am nearly late for school but I manage to snake into my seat just as the bell rings, not my usual 15 minutes early day but I still made it in time. My stomach growls, stupid Edward and his notes messing up my breakfast I grumble inwardly and the rant continues with his plans for my birthday.

"Bella, Bella," I hear someone saying and I look up to see the blonde who calls herself my friend smiling at me, "The bell rang."

"Oh, thanks I guess I'm just tired." I try and smile at her as we walk to class but it is no use she is just way to petty for my tastes in friends.

"Ohhh, what's this?" She coos snatching a piece of paper out of my jeans pocket, "Is someone leaving you notes, that sophomore boy you sit with at lunch, maaaaybeeee."

Oh, no the letter from Edward in the hands of the gossip queen, not to mention her Edward obsession, "Give it back!" I yell and lunge at her and I smack her hard against the lockers. The note securely in my hand, but I didn't see her red headed friend come up behind me and push me hard into the brick wall on the other side of the hall. My shoulder hits it hard with a loud smack, pain shoot up and down my arm causing me to cry out. My right hand still clutching the note I ignore the pain and leap towards the blonde and let my left fist smack into her cheek, shocking the red head but only for a second because she kicks me hard in the shin just as I hear a teachers voice rain out from the crowds.

"Girls, Girls! Stop it this instant, Jessica, Victoria principal's office now!" The teacher cool states and then her eyes focus squarely on me. "What is your name?"

I shove the note back into my pocket and grab my shoulder it is all I can to stop myself from screaming in pain. "Bella Swan." I choke out and tears start to stream down my face and I try to hold them back.

"Come on young lady I think you should see the nurse before we deal with your punishment." The teacher says motioning for me to follow her.

The nurses office is close by and luckily the nurse is here and not at lunch or something. She examines my shoulder and asks how it happened remaining surprisingly neutral through it all, not once telling me I shouldn't have been fighting. Fighting, geeesh Edward is so going to kill me, how embarrassing of a day this is going to be. At least he can't come to the school seeing as he has no transportation. I am internally relieved at that, but the pain increases as the nurse pushes and prods my shoulder.

"You are going to have quite the bruise here dear." The nurse says, "now let me get a look at that wrist of yours."

"Huh?" I ask looking at my wrist, it doesn't even hurt. My eyes widen when I realize that it look rather swollen.

I move my left wrist towards her and she examines it carefully, I guess I have hurt wrists so often a simple sprain doesn't even register with my pain centers anymore.

"Just a sprain I believe." The nurse informs me although now that I look at it I think I could have told her that one having done it many times before.

She hands me some Tylenol and hands me over to the teacher who caught us fighting and I cringe at her frown.

"Come along Miss Swan the principal has already informed your guardian of the situation and your ride home will be here shortly." Ride home?

We walk into the office that reads 'Principal Norris' and I see a large stout looking man who probably is feared by all who attend this school. I however being new wouldn't know I should fear him, that is until now.

"Miss Swan, I know that you are a new student here but I doubt that fighting was condoned at your pervious high school. I have however taken in to consideration that you have never been written up on your record before and you come to us with excellent teacher recommendations, therefore you will only be sent home for the remainder of today and be suspended tomorrow. I expect upon your return on Friday you will have more respect for not only this particular rule but all others as well."

"Yes, sir." I say quietly not feeling entirely sure I can manage much more.

"You may wait out in the front office for a Mr. McCarty to pick you up." Who is that I wonder as I take a seat in the small uncomfortable chairs by the front office reception area.

About 20 minutes later I see the two friends of Edwards walk into the office and look around expectantly until their eyes zero in on me. A slight smile from Jasper and a large grin from Emmett and I realize they are here to pick me up, well which ever is a McCarty that is. A few words and a signature later and I am following both of them out of the office.

"You need your stuff?" Jasper asks me and I nod and they follow me towards my locker.

I grab my bag and wince as I place it over my shoulder but I quickly push the pain away and slam my locker shut.

"C'mon, give Jasper Edward's keys you can ride with me, I wanna here all about the fight." Emmett says grinning with a wicked glint in his eye.

I hand Jasper the keys and he heads out to student parking while I follow Emmett towards the front of the school building where his car would be. Well, car is an understatement it is a huge jeep like monster. After I scramble to get into the passenger's seat and buckled up, the questions start.

"So you really took on two girls? Over what?" His grin widens.

"Yeah, I guess…it was stupid really, I never meant for it to happen actually." I mumble looking absently out the window.

"So you accidentally got in a fight, tell me you punched someone right, you didn't pull her hair or anything did you?"

"Yeah I think I punished the blonde." He laughs like it is all some big joke. Since when do you get picked up from school for fighting and have said person actually joke with you about it. A little freaky, but me actually fighting in school also freaky, it is very out of character for me.

Emmett tries with all his might to get more details out of me but those are the parts I don't want him or anyone knowing about. How can I say I started a fight because I was trying to take back Edwards note to me, I shouldn't of had it at school to begin with.

We pull into Edward's house just behind Jasper and with a grin and an encouraging smile from Jasper they leave me in the drive way saying they had to go. I return their smiles and slowly start up to the house with Edwards keys in my hand. Wish I had be able to just drive myself home today, stupid school regulations.

Inside I find Edward on the couch, not looking very pleased, some birthday I am having huh. I walk in and set my bag down and walk over to the couch and sit down. He still hasn't said one word to me.

"Sorry." I whisper and sneak a glance up towards him on my right.

"I'm not your father Bella, I don't appreciate getting phone calls saying that you have been starting fights in school. You could have gotten hurt, taking on two girls you realize the odds were against you. What ever could they have done that was so wrong for you to want to start fights?" Concern that's odd, not what I was expecting, anger yes, but not this.

"I didn't start to today think hey great I think for my 17th birthday it is time I learn how to fight so lets take on two girls in the middle of the hall for no good reason. It was an accident and I never meant to do it I just got a little carried away when Jessica stole something out of my pocket and when I went to take it back I slammed her into the locker and well from there it turned into a fight I guess." I mumble giving him a few more details than I gave Emmett.

"You're suspended." It isn't a question when he stated it more like an acknowledgement.

"Yeah, this sucks." I say and flop backwards forgetting about my shoulder and I cry out in pain as it collides with the sofa.

"Did they hurt you?" He asks alarmed at my out cry.

"Well, like you said there were two of them, but the nurse looked at it said it was nothing."

"Let me see, I've had my share of injuries, I'll know if it is serious or not more so than some quack nurse the school hires part time."

"Uhh…" I say a little uncomfortable at the thought of taking off my shirt like I did for the nurse, I hesitate, "Uh sure just pull up the back of my shirt and take a look."

His fingers are a little cold against my skin as he pulls the hem of my shirt up on one side. Slowly, more slowly than I thought possible he pulls it up and over my right shoulder, exposing my whole side to him and probably more than I want to think about at the moment. I repeat in my head that I have a bra on and it covers the same thing as a bathing suit, nothing to worry about.

"It's already bruising Bella." He exclaims bring me out of my head.

"It barely hurts, you should see the brick wall, I bet it is crumbling to pieces." I quip out trying desperately to squelch all of my anxiety with humor the best I can.

Slowly he lowers my shirt back down and lets out a deep breath. I refuse to look at him and I just sit there stone stiff.

"Are you feeling terribly bad? I would understand I you didn't want to go out tonight." He asks after a moment of silence between us.

"No, we can still go, I mean we don't have to come back early now since I don't have school." What am I saying? I scream in my head, stupid mouth is betraying me, I don't like doing anything for my birthday and what if someone sees us together? Too late.

He smiles, "Excited, I know I am been cooped up in this house far too long."

"Yeah, something like that."


	11. Chapter 11

**Yeah it has been a couple of days i think not quite sure but i know i felt like i am neglecting my fanfic stories so here you go ENJOY :)**

Chapter 11

Stupid blue dress, my feet look stupid and fat in these shoes. I look in the mirror again wondering why I ever agreed to wear this thing; my legs are showing and everything. I run my fingers through my hair watching the girl in the mirror and wonder if this is all just a dream. I am actually going to be seen in public with Edward, granted I am far from date material for the guy, but needless to say my excitement almost rivals my nervousness. A quick job of my make up, opting for mascara and a bit of lip gloss, and I am done, ready to go in about 20 minutes wonder if Edward is ready.

I head out into the living room expecting to see him waiting and am surprised that he isn't ready to go. Instead of taking a seat, I decide to head into the kitchen for a glass of water, my excited and anxiety ridden nerves not allowing me a moments of stillness at the moment.

A few minutes later Edward emerges from his room looking prim and proper in dress slacks and one of his usual button down shirts, I smile when I realize his hair is just as messy as his everyday just rolled out of bed look.

"Wow, I didn't expect you to be ready to go yet." He says shuffling into the kitchen with his crutch and obviously looking me up and down. His eyes on me make my already frazzled nerves tremble beneath my skin with the need to break my skin and fly away.

"You look…umm beautiful if you don't mind me saying." Edward says diverting his eyes away making his earlier acknowledgement of me that much more evident.

"Thanks, can't say you don't look nice." I scramble for something to say to him that doesn't give away my want to grope him with my eyes, possibly imagining things I shouldn't.

"Shall we go then?" Edward asks already starting towards the door. I break out of my stupor and follow, I am going to have to focus to get through tonight.

Once we are in the car I wonder where we are indeed going, he is going to have to tell me once we reach the end of the drive cause how else am I going to drive us there.

"Which way?" I ask coming to a halt at the main road.

He directs me to head away from Forks thank goodness and towards Port Angeles.

"So Bella, what is your plan in life once you are through with your self-induced torture of living with me?" He asks and I wonder what torture until I recall what he said after that 'living with me' hmmmm?

"I wouldn't exactly call living with you torture per se, but that's not what you wanted to know is it?"

He chuckles, "No, though I am pleased that you don't see the experience as a prison term."

I want to smile but somehow I stop myself, "It's not what I expected but not totally disagreeable." Yeah because I totally get to see you, talk to you, and oh yeah live in your house. Gosh I sound like the stupid blonde at school, well its okay to have some shallow thoughts every now and again right.

"So after this non-disagreeable sentence what are you planning for the rest of your life?"

"I don't know really, college I've always thought working some where in the health field would be interesting, but I haven't really decided."

"You could use this experience on your resume, personal home nurse to Edward Cullen." He laughs.

"Not sure that would be completely accurate; anyway I have a whole year before I have to worry about college." I shrug not wanting to further the discussion about my future.

"Are you making any friends you don't want to jump in the hall during school hours?"

"Well, Jacob and his friends are the guys I sit with a lunch mainly because the other girls in the junior class wouldn't be caught dead hanging out with freshmen and sophomores." I smile at the thought of what those boys will think of me come the end of my suspension. Good gossip travels fast in small schools.

"Younger guys huh?" Edwards asks sorta open ended making me wonder what he is actually thinking about.

"Yeah, well…I think I scared them the first day I took refuge at their table, literally all their mouths hung open. Little scary to think I have that effect on people."

"Beautiful girls tend to do that to guys, Bella…especially if they are younger than you, I can only imagine what was running through their minds the minute you took notice of them." He grins at me like he knows much more than he is letting on.

"What do you mean? I'm sure Victoria or even Jessica hold the attentions of guys at school but me I doubt it?" I say refuting his statements; he must just be being nice, it is my birthday and I have had one hell of a day today.

"You don't see yourself clearly, Bella."

I roll my eyes, "Where to?" I ask as we roll into town.

"Pull into this parking lot here." He says after driving through town for a few minutes.

A restaurant I presume, small, classy, and way too much for my birthday. I hesitate at the door wondering how much Edward is going to have to spend just for two meals.

"C'mon Bell, don't make me hold this door open much longer, you know cripple here." The crooked grin is shot towards me and I have to smile back as I force my feet to carry me into the restaurant.

The hostess shows us to a table towards the back of the place, it is dimly lit with barely enough light to read the menu by. The atmosphere is shouting romantic date night more so than Bella's birthday dinner. My hands shake a little as I open the menu before me and that is when I also notice or more like feel his gaze upon me. I don't look up but nervously tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear, lick my dry lips and focus my eyes on the menu, but I fail to read any of it.

"Bella…you are only pretending to read that menu." He states simply forcing my eyes to drift up to his dark green orbs, burning holes into my very existence, his demeanor clearly shows his amusement and something else I don't quite understand.

"What do you like? Bella, if you haven't noticed the menu is in mostly Italian." I glance back down at it and my eyes widen visibly as I realize he is right.

I glance down at the menu and pick the first thing I think I know, 'Ravioli di Portobello', mushroom ravioli, "I'll have this one." I say pointing to the words so that Edward could see.

He smiles probably because out of all the things on the menu this one is unmistakable for something else. When the waiter comes around he orders what I pointed out and something that sounds like a mouthful for himself. It isn't until the waiter comes back that I notice him setting two wine glasses in front of us, and the rest liquid being poured into both glasses has my eyes blinking and my heart racing at the mere thought of breaking the rules, not just rules the law.

The waiter leaves and I am still gawking at the glasses of wine until Edwards voice snaps me out of it.

"Have you ever had wine Bella?" I shake my head no, not trusting my voice to be anywhere near even.

He takes a sip from his glass and quirks a half smile at my discomfort and I slowly draw my hand out for the glass of wine. As I bring it to my lips I again see him watching me, almost beackoning me to take a sip, it isn't what I expect at all, more solid, rich with a bitter pungnet taste but good I find myself actaully liking the wine.

Our conversation is slow but not foced while we wait for our food, Edward is just full of questions both asinine and thoughtful. The questions ranges from the mild about my likes and dislikes to the heady about my thoughts on good and evil which led into the relems of morals and tradition. As our food arrives I realize that this is proably the most I have ever talked with Edward and it seems to easy, so uncomplcated. I find myself enjoying my birthday for the first time to who knows how long.

When we finish our meal, Edward of course pays and we head back out to the car. I start our drive home, but am shocked when Edward has me pull onto a side road leading west.

A small parking lot appears and as I park I realize that it is just beginning to get dark, the sky is graying and twilight is approaching swiftly. We walk a short ways over to a small over look, below the sea streaches out before us and the sky starts to twist into the darkening depths of the twilight hour.

"This is my favorite time of night, the time just before dark encapsulated the land." Eward whispers, his voice carrying erieely through the night air.

"It's beauiful out here." I reply my eyes transfixed upon the horizon before us, watchin in awe as the darkness slowly overtakes the world before my eyes.

"It's not the only beautiful thing I see." Edward murmers and I catch his eyes glint, he's watching me again. I look down not sure what to do or how to react. My heart pounds against my chest as my mind reels again at the fact that he called me beautiful, not in the context of me looking nice but in the context of us out here together.

The darkness swollows us up and before long I can see nothing but the stars starting to peak through the heavens above. I feel Edwards hand on my shoulder, I turn to look at him wondering what he wants. Shock rushing through me as I turn, finding his face only inches from mine, his eyes seem to sparkle in the little light around us. He is silent but only for a brief moment.

"Maybe we should go." His whisper seems out of place as the stillness is broken, the air feeling much less heavy as I take in a deep breath.

"Alright." I finally say and we head back to the car for the drive home.


	12. Chapter 12

**Okay so here is the next awaited chapter hope you like Thanks for all the reviews love hearing from ya for all those who are thinking creepy last chapter it might not get any better but well she is 17 and i was hanging out with 22 or 23 year old guys when i was 15 or 16 so sorry for all of you who think that is bad but that's life...but this situation is a little different so guess you'll have to read to see what happens...**

Chapter 12

"Happy Birthday, I know you said you don't like presents or surprises but I hope you won't think too badly of me seeing as it is the first birthday you've known me." Edwards says smiling brightly holding out a small box, complete with shinny blue paper and a bow.

"Um, sure." I sputter out still trying to get my senses back, first dinner, then what ever that was at the shoreline, and now a present.

My hand reaches out and I force a smile onto my face just before taking a seat on the couch.

"When did you have time to go shopping?" I ask wondering cause between doctor's visits and me having his car during school hours, not to mention his lack of driving skills via broken leg, there hasn't been much time.

He smiles sheepishly, "Forgive me, but I had to send Emmett out, he assured me that he got just the thing…my instructions helped. He even had the store gift wrap it for you." Edwards rambles a little.

"So you haven't seen what you got me?"

"Tempted as I was to unwrap it and take a peek I have utter faith in my friend to have gotten what I instructed him to."

"Okay, well thanks." I smile at him again wondering what he could possibly think I need.

I pull the shinny blue paper away from the box carefully as my nerves start to quiver beneath my skin. The box itself is rectangular and flat, but gives nothing away to its contents. The tissue paper clouds my view but what I see in the box is obviously clothing. Odd.

I grab the material and pull out the article and my face turns beet red, the heat in my cheeks is undeniable. My mouth only hangs open for a mere second before I completely lose it.

"How dare you tell you bumbling friend to buy me this!" I shout rising to my feet my hands still holding out the offensive clothing.

I glare at Edward who looks taken back, his face also red and I realize that he had not idea what was in the box.

"Bella, believe me I didn't tell him to…"

"Save it Edward! There is not excuse for your stupid friend to be purchasing lingerie for you to give to me. Some sick joke." I mutter last part more calmly the flush on my face now much redder as I turn and leave the room, offensive clothing now balled in my fist.

My bedroom door, yeah I slam it hard on purpose despite the flailing attempts of Edward to explain. Oh, yeah I hear what he is saying and yeah it makes sense but my embarrassment rings loud and true. Moments later I hear him yelling into the phone probably at his demented friend who thought the joke would be worth ruining what has been my most enjoyable birthday since I was about 5.

I throw the stupid blue piece of clothing or lack there of on my dresser and go to work on getting out of this stupid dress. I know it is childish not to just discuss this with him, it isn't his fault really, but how could he give me a present he has never seen.

A few hours later I am still not asleep, my light is off and it just isn't getting any better. The sharp knock on my door startles me and I instinctively response with a 'Come in.'

The door squeaks open slowly and Edward's distraught face peeks around the corner.

"Bella, I never meant to upset you hell, Emmett was suppose to buy you a blue sweater…" He approaches my bed and takes a seat near my feet. "Can you forgive me for trusting Emmett not to screw this up with one of his practical jokes?"

I sit up in bed pulling my feet beneath me still under the blankets and take a good look at him, he actually looks sorry.

"No, don't say anything." He stops me before I say anything, "I had a talk with Emmett and he is coming over tomorrow morning to apologize."

"What?! No! I mean that would be way to embarrassing, I don't want to see him, let alone talk to him." I flop backwards onto my bed and I am suddenly aware that I have no pants on and have clearly exposed my bare legs and probably much more to the man on the end of my bed. What is worse is that he doesn't seem to notice, because at this very moment he is moving forward to turn on the light. I am frozen in place as he reaches over me to the other side of the bed.

Click goes the light and I watch Edward's eyes widen and take in my bare legs and of course my reddening face.

"Uh, sorry Bella." Edward smirks at me but despite his words he doesn't look away. In fact he looks like he looks a little closer.

My body is slow to react pulling the blankets back over me and up to my chin.

"Uh, goodnight." I say pulling the blanket a little higher so that only my eyes are peeking out.

As he leaves the room my mind reels and I know sleep will never come. He was actually looking at me gosh what exactly did he see, oh my gosh could he of seen my underwear!

Emmett's voice is what I hear along with the clanking of the pots and pans in the kitchen. Groggily I climb out of bed and look around for something to quickly slip into seeing as I don't particularly want Edward to see me in just a shirt…again. How am I going to be able to look at either of them? I pull on my jeans and t-shirt and pull my hair back into a ponytail.

I take a deep breath and head out into the living room to face the two guys who hopefully don't burn the house down because with all the noise from the kitchen, they are making breakfast.

"Morning Bella," Edward says smirking at me, and I frown as Emmett turns around to say hi.

"Bella, I'm sorry you can't take a joke." Emmett says laughing and tossing some frozen hash browns into a skillet.

It only takes me a moment for my embarrassment to pass and my anger to shine through, "Just wait…and we will see who can't take a joke." I threaten walking right past him to grab a cup of coffee.

I hear Edward chuckle at my statement.

"You gonna eat with us Bella?" Edward asks looking at me as I pop myself up onto the counter with my cup of coffee.

"If you don't manage to burn the house down in the process." I quip at him.

As the boys cook I watch and it isn't until Edward head out of the kitchen that Emmett approaches me where I sit on the counter.

"You know Bella, I didn't know you would get upset as you did over the present." He says quietly looking very much like a little boy getting caught stealing a cookie. "It really was just a joke, I never meant to offend you…" He finishes trailing off as Edward gimps back into the room.

I smile at him but say nothing, not quite knowing what to say to him. Today is going to be interesting.

"So what are we doing today?" I ask as I place the last dish into the drying rack.

"Well, as much as I would love to hang out with you two all day, I have work." Emmett replies grabbing his coat from the back of the couch.

"Movie?" Edward asks falling into the sofa and stretching out across it lazily.

"Sure which one?" I ask walking over to the dvd player.

"Pop the one in on top of the player."

"Okay." I grab the case and eye it for a second wondering why he wants to watch this movie and with me. The cover is a woman's bare stomach, her belly button showing and a single red rose lying on her.

"Have you seen it before?" He asks and I settle in after pressing play.

"No, what's it about?"

"Mostly it's about sex, but the plot is interesting too." He smirks though I don't feel any relief about the nature of the movie as the first scene starts to play, but I relax as the movie continues, it's about a family, relief it isn't a porno.

"Nothing like watching a bunch of crazy people to make you think your normal, huh?" Edward remarks about twenty minutes into the movie.

"That guy is gross he is fanaticizing about a teenager and he is like what 40, ewwww."

He chuckles and leans over towards me on the couch, "Thought you didn't have a problem with that kind of relationship." He whispers into my ear and instead of moving back to his side of the couch he settles in closer to me.

"Ummm, that one is kinda different, he is old and gross," I say softly.

"So if Tom Cruise was playing the forty year old dad would you say the same thing?" He asks as he moves my hair away from the shoulder closest to him.

"Um," I mutter and he pulls me a little closer to him, my side now snuggly against his and his mouth hovering only inches from my ear.

"So it's not the age difference is it?" He whispers and his breath is hot and moist on my ear. I stiffen for a moment before I force myself to relax and watch the movie. I don't respond because obviously he knows the answer already. What is with him and his questions about relationships with age differences?

The rest of the movie he is quiet though the reason could be because I fell asleep. I wake up and the first thing I realize is that his eyes are on me, second, his hands are stroking my hair which is not longer in a ponytail, and lastly, my head is in his lap.

"Hey, sleepy head." He smiles and I tense beneath his touch and gaze.

"Hi." I mumble sleepily, "How long was I out?"

"The movie's been about for about 45 minutes or so." His hand moves from my hair along the side of my arm and I force myself not to move away from his touch. Gosh, this hot guy is touching me, I fell asleep in his lap of all things…

"Sorry, I didn't sleep last night." I say trying to sit up without placing my hands on any body part of his. I fail and tumble back a bit and indivertibly my left hand lands in the most awkward of places gaining a grunt from Edward. My abdominals kick in and I am off his lap in less than a second, embarrassed once again more so seeing as my hand was somewhere far more inappropriate than the gift/joke ever could be.

Safely on the couch and not his lap I curl up a bit not wanting him to sneak over again, but wishing I could have been awake for more of the cuddling. Hormones be damned I will not and can not let them take my brain away, I am here to help him recover not to have googoo eyes for him like every other girl at my high school.

**The movie they were watching is _American Beauty, it is great don't own it but love the movie a little werid but hell that's what makes it interesting. _**


	13. Chapter 13

**Short Chapter Alert, sorry in advance for such a short chapter but somehow my insipration to write this chapter suddenly ended and oops i was only part way done so here you go ENJOY i will update sooon with a more lengthy chapter once all is cooperating..... Thanks for all the reviews and alerts and faves :)**

Out of the corner of my eye I see him frowning at me and I smile weakly once again kinda unsure of what I did wrong. I mean how could he possibly want me sleeping on his lap, but come to think about it he has kinda been giving me the impression that…no silly me it has to just be my imagination.

I glance at him after a few moments and he is still watching me with a keen eye. What could be so interesting do I have drool on my face, oh god did I drool on his lap. I glance down at his crotch searching for a wet spot that must certainly be there.

"See something you like?" He asks and the blush not only creeps up like a madman to my face but the expression on my face is pure embarrassment, I was just caught looking at his…his, well I wasn't exactly but he thinks I was.

"It's not like that." I state but can't look at the man, instead my eyes bore holes in the black tv screen.

"Oh, it's not huh? Then precisely what is it like?" He asks and I can hear the seriousness in his voice, serious about what I don't know.

"I thought that maybe I drooled on you or something." I spit out as I fight the urge to run away from him, hide in my room again. I win, my flight response slowly quaking out.

A slight chuckle escapes his lips.

"Do you have any idea how sweet and innocent you are sometimes?" He asks slides closer and brushes his fingers across my chin and instinctively I look towards him.

His green eyes hold so much emotion the irises bright and fanciful yet smoldering and genuine. The depths that the pupils hold ground my gaze to his and I almost seem to lose myself within the darkened depths. My breathing quickens along with my pulse as his fingers once again make a trail along my skin, my jaw line emblazoned by his touch, I would think a slightly reddened hue would remain. My mouth parts as if willing my brain to remember how to speak, silence no words.

"Bella, you are by far the most intriguing woman I have ever had the privilege to meet. Somehow you seem far wiser than your years proclaim you should be, yet something else that captivates me is that you are all together oblivious of certain things." His voice is velvety smooth and nothing but pure masculine acquiescence.

"W-What do you mean?" I stutter my hands wringing themselves nervously under his intense scrutiny.

"It's alright Bella, I'm sorry if I made you feel uneasy, I think I am just going to take a nap." Edward says sounding discontent and a little out of it.

He leaves me in the living room feeling all out of sorts, did he really mean what he said. If he really meant all that he said why did he just excuse himself from our conversation. Oblivious to what I wonder…

The afternoon flies by quickly as my thoughts flutter through the conversations and things Edward and I have done. The puzzle pieces start to come together but it isn't until Edwards grim looking smile reappears around dinner time that it all truly clicks together. Edward Cullen likes me…possibly wants me. My revelation though now it all seems so obvious comes to me at a price, how am I suppose to help him with dinner when I know what I now know. I throw him a shaky smile as he passes through the living room towards the kitchen, calm exterior but inside a hurricane is beginning to batter the coastline of my supposed morals and heart.


	14. Chapter 14

**Okay so here is the next chapter don't remember if it is 18 or not my luck not ENJOY hope you like Thanks for the support for this fanfic for without it would have probally dribbled away to somewhere else. hmmmmmmm :)**

Chapter 18

I take a deep breath and try and stroll into the kitchen behind him and feel like a silly cartoon character with my hands behind my back and whistling as if I am merely innocent and still have no clue. Of course I would look like an idiot if I actually did that instead of trying squelch any fear and denial I have for my new revelation.

Ignorance was bliss now that I know….shit.

Okay so hot 20 something guy who is successful and has to be so much more mature than my brain can even stand, likes me. Does that change anything? Only everything…I roll my eyes and they just happen to focus on his behind, his slightly crouched frame doing a vary nice job honing the rounded prominence out for my viewing pleasure. I stifle a groan and internal berate my own thoughts, he is so not just a piece of meat. If I thought of him that way I wouldn't be any better than the girls at school, what is that saying my mother always tells me. Oh yeah, it is what is on the inside that counts and then she would continue on about how what others think of me doesn't matter.

I roll my head around on my shoulders trying to clear my damn traitorous brain coming to a sudden halt just inside the kitchen, stuck to the floor beside the oven and stove. Subconscious I must know that this is the first place after the fridge that he will have to come to. I run my finger along the shinny edge of the stovetop idly wondering what he plans on cooking, my gaze isn't broken until I feel his fingers raising my chin upward. Warm and all too comforting and at the same time brazen and forbidden is his very touch, his voice ringing in my ears "Any moral objections to the fact that it is about an older woman obviously taking advantage of a teenaged boy?"… "…A teenaged girl instead…"

Shit I am in way over my head, if the context of the song he was asking about is any indication of his intentions or wants…concerning me.

"Hungry?" He asks his green eyes finally releasing mine as his fingers descend backwards to my throat and down my neck lifting only when my shirt become an obstacle in his path.

"Starved." I reply my voice sounding normal for me although my heart is fluttering and my whole body feels like one huge all of tinkles.

"You mind having pork chops tonight, stuffing, and possibly some green beans if you will dig some out of the freezer?" He smiles and I look towards the fridge to avoid the smile afraid if I look I will get sucked into this vortex and make a fool out of myself, not that I haven't already, but come on I think I deserve some good luck for a change.

"More than willing to help you out…with the freezer I mean." I stammer and take off to the other end of the kitchen before he can respond.

I head over to the side-by-side fridge and squat down to take a look at where the veggies are…no wonder he asked for my help, I don't know how he could reach them way in the back and on the lowest shelf. He would have to crawl across the whole house to find a way to get himself off the floor. I mean once he's down its not like he can just climb back to his feet. I plop down and start pulling the items out into my lap so that I can get the green beans free. I shove it all back in and thankfully it fits.

"Have fun down there?" Edward asks smirking at me from his place at the stove.

"Sure, nothing beats foraging for the veggies, be it outside in the wilderness or in the artic tundra of your freezer, I'm game."

He chuckles and tosses me a box of Instant stuffing.

"You actually want me to eat this crap." I reply tossing the box onto the empty counter.

"Yeah, what's wrong with it?"

"It is gross, not to mention unhealthy." I grumble but proceed to get the ingredients for the disgusting side dish.

"Since when did you start caring about weather we eat healthy?"

I glare at him and toss the water into the microwave to heat up, "Your injured how do you think you are gonna get better eating this crap?" I ask a little appalled that he is bringing this up now, this is the first thing he has wanted to cook that hasn't been very good for you, in my opinion at least.

"Better? Yeah that is a scam Bella, you actually think I am ever going to be able to play again, the doctors are already talking surgery, hell after all of this is over I will be worthless to the team. The only reason they haven't cut me loose yet is that there is that slim chance that I won't need surgery." He turns back to the stove and my brain decides that if all that came out of just not getting boxed stuffing then their must be so much more hurt and anger below the surface.

The microwave beeps and I slowly stir the hot water into the mix.

"Bella, shit I didn't mean to take it out on you…you are like my life saver, do you realize that if you weren't here I would be sitting on that couch with a whiskey bottle and a case of beer in the fridge." He turns around, his eyes are closed for a brief moment just before he opens and the bright green eyes look at me, shinny almost as if moisture has started to gather.

I smile and hold up the bowl of stuffing and he snorts and turns back around to take the meat off the stove. The green beans, I toss in the microwave and dinner is cooked.

I head to bed that night still a bit worried about Edward yet sorta relieved that he let some of it out. Keeping his emotions inside can't be good. I stretch and roll over in my bed to face the door, his large frame silhouetted against the contrast is more than obvious. I blink my eyes and yet he remains, oddly his presence doesn't make me feel nervous or afraid but calm, more like serene. I smile and close my eyes wondering what he wanted, I am just too tired right now…he can wait till morning.


	15. Chapter 15

**Yeah another update and i breeched 2000 words on this one so be happy but don't gripe about where i stopped, you'll see when you get there why i said anything sorry in advance for stopping i just sorta got side tracked in my brain...tangent dealing with sonnets why that came up i don't know not part of this story...hahaha Well EnJOY **

Chapter 15

School I shoot out of bed in alarm and my eyes focus on the clock, I let out a deep breath when I realize that it is okay, I still have time to get to school on time. Facing school will be interesting to say the least, ha I can hardly wait, the girls will more than likely leave me alone now, good riddance. My morning routine of coffee and toast will have to wait, since I need a shower and I did wake up a little late seeing as I forgot to set my alarm.

The hot shower does wonders on my outlook for the day, smiling I pull my hair back into a loose braid and sorta skip out into the living room with my bag. The house is still quiet, Edward obviously not a morning person, so I grab his keys and head out to his car to go to school.

The whirlwind of the last two days flies through my head as I walk into the school building. My brain not registering the stares until I am at my locker, eyes probing me, watching my every action, and it takes all I have not to scream at them 'What?' I know what they all heard the story, the rumors are probably larger than life now, I can only guess what they think I did to the poor girls.

I slam my locker and come face to face with someone I would never expect to approach me. Dark hair hanging around his face, eyes only enhances the nervous expression on his face.

"Hey, Jake." I smile and lean my shoulder into my now shut locker door.

"Hi, Bella is it true?" He asks quietly in almost a whisper.

"Is what true Jake?" I ask and look around to see eyes watching and conversations frozen in mid sentence.

"That you tried to kill your friends." He says looking down and away.

"No, I am not a highly skilled fighter; you really think I could kill some girl with my bare hands." I laugh and gain a nervous chuckle from him and the hall fills once again with quiet whispers.

"Well, no but I was actually going to ask you something else, you think we could step outside so I don't feel like I am on candid camera?"

"Sure," I say following him towards the side door and with a quick glance at the clock I know I have a good 10 minutes before the bell rings.

I lean against the brick wall, the hard cold stone rough under my hands, helps me remain calm as well as the isolation out here, the kid's stares were getting to me. I glance at Jake and his nervousness is compounding, his brow is slightly furrowed now and though he may not know it he is rather stiff and much unlike his laid back self, I see at lunch.

"Bella, I was wondering if you would want to go out with me this weekend on a date?"

Shit, is my first thought, my eyes widen and my heart starts to beat faster, what do I do? Do I turn him down? What would I have said a couple days ago when I didn't know that Edward liked me? No, I still think I would say no. I search his face for anything to help me understand where this all came from, I find nothing.

"Jake, I don't think that would work out, I mean you are great and all but…" I start to say not knowing where I am going yet.

"But you are seeing Edward Cullen." Jake seethes out at me…anger and jealously they are only fleeting yet I still catch them.

"What?" I choke out.

"A friend of mine saw you at the restaurant; you don't have to lie to me." He says once again quiet.

"He's just a friend." I mumble and reign in my thoughts about wanting him to be more.

"Friends just don't go to dine at that restaurant Bella."

"Jake…" I sigh.

"Don't worry Bella, your secret is safe with me, for now." He says and the anger flashes in his eyes as he walks away leaving me standing alone on the side of the building.

I sit by myself at lunch, my eyes darting towards Jake's table with longing but I don't know if I am welcome. The dark gaze my eyes meet tell me I am not. My soda can still quite full I toss it and head out into the hallway not wanting to endure the pointed looks and glares from Jessica's table.

I trail my finger along the lockers in a wave pattern as I idly stroll the halls, my attention firmly focused on my thoughts. I finally just settle at the base of the stairs leaning my head up against the wall, and wait for the bell to chime.

I still haven't figured out what to say to Edward. I saw him at my door obviously wanting to say something to me, but then again that hasn't been the first time I have seen him watching me. I close my eyes and wonder why he has been watching me if that is truly what he's been doing, and not just my imagination going overboard.

Footsteps…coming towards me, I tense wondering who else is walking the halls. I keep my eyes closed not wanting to meet the eyes of anyone at the moment. I feel the presence of someone and I start when I feel them sit beside me on the stairs.

"Bella," I hear a small timid voice and turn to see the quiet girl from Jessica's group smile at me, "I just wanted to let you know I don't hold it against you, I am sure they both deserved it."

I return her smile, "Thanks."

"You didn't sit with your boys today?" She asks obviously sensing that something is wrong.

"I know, don't think it would have been nice to rub it in his face…one of them asked me out this morning."

"Oh, why did you turn him down?" She asks kinda sounding a little disappointed.

"No, real reason, I just don't see him that way." I sigh and lean back against the step on my elbows.

"I'd die if any boy asked me out Bella, you are so lucky so many of the guys want you, now they are just a little scared of you."

I laugh and roll my eyes, "I guess scary is better than invisible." That's what was at my old school, invisible and lost in the crowd when it came to boys.

Dishes are done and I am exhausted, nothing like a school full of rumors to weigh heavy on your energy. I plop down onto the couch beside Edward, who I still don't know how to deal with my discomfort over the situation securely hidden under my humorous comments, hopefully I am not as transparent as my mother thinks I am.

"School rumors that bad?"

"Yeah, nothing I can't handle…except…never mind." I mumble not wanting to dive into the whole Jake thing with him, awkward conversation there.

"I'm sure since you can handle me, you can handle anyone." I freeze what did he mean by 'handle him'.

I just smile and place my feet up onto the coffee table and wiggle my toes. Plain toes nails dance at the ends of my feet and I wonder if I actually own toenail polish. I frown as I determine that I probably don't and will have to live with ugly feet.

"Have you ever kissed a guy Bella?" Edward asks suddenly, my full attention is his, shock runs through me, and I stop breathing only to start again when my body forces me to suck in a slight breath through my nose. I stare at him, not at his eyes but at his lips, wondering if I would ever get to kiss his lips. The question rolls around in my head for a moment and I am unsure how to answer it, kiss a guy well, I had one kiss me before but it was in 7th grade and not my idea of what an actual kiss is, more along the lines of a peck on the lips.

"What are you thinking, is it really a complex question?" He asks amusement evident in his voice.

"I was thinking about the definition of a kiss, it isn't as concrete of a definition as you may think, the concept varies to some degrees between regions, people and age."

"Okay, maybe a demonstration will help convey what I deem a kiss and then you can answer." He smirks just enough for me to realize he is joking.

"Mumm, perhaps just clarification orally…verbally would help." I fumble with my words his eyes glinting at my obvious discomfort with the topic of what I have done with a guy, my innocence shinning through like a red flare in the night sky.

"A definition let me see, lips to lips and more than likely tongue to tongue, mouths are usually open, warm and inviting, teasing and…"

I swallow and stop him mid thought wanting him to continue but clearly getting the picture, "No." I whisper my mouth dry as the word escapes my lips.

"Never?"

"No, I am freaking 17 and haven't had a real kiss okay, I wasn't exactly voted beauty queen back at my old high school, why do you think I didn't have any problems leaving my friends behind probably because they weren't really my friends." I manage to hold back my anger that rises in me, pain, despair, and sadness surface instead at what I just admitted, more to myself than to him, never voiced but deep down I always knew it was there.

"I am sure there are a lot of 17 year olds who haven't…" He says and I just gape at him, like he would know, he was probably jock extraordinaire at his high school.

"Sorry, you're right, I just overreacted." I mumble now feeling stupid at my outburst.

"Come here, you need a hug." He doesn't give me time to respond, instead he drags me towards him and embraces me in a hug. Awkwardly I try and rearrange myself on his lap he so quickly thrust me into to without thinking of my comfort, I settle down on his lap and am shocked to find myself straddling the man. My knees are on either side of his hips and my chest snugly against his, still in his embrace and glad he can't see the extreme shock on my face. His hand slowly rubs circles on my back soothing me, willing me to relax.

"Edward…"I say softly, "This is more than a hug." I state and wonder if he can feel my breath on his face.

"I know." He responds but doesn't halt his movements, "Look at me Bella." His voice is soft but I hear something else in it that makes me hesitate for a moment.

I shift back a bit and his arms slide down my upper arms to steady me. I look into his eyes and see his want and desire, it almost shocks me to see. I didn't see it before and now I am looking directly into the flames.

I lean forward my eyes open and locked on his, if I go down in flames I might as well see it coming. My lips touch his tentatively at first, not sure how it all is suppose to work, once again my knowledge coming mostly from books and tv. While my lips are close to his I moisten mine with my tongue and ever so slowly I feel his hand pressing me closer and while I am distracted by his hands somehow his mouth opens to mine. His tongue teasing my upper lip, his breath so warm against my mouth, distracting and all encompassing and books just do not give this experience justice. I press myself forward seeking more contact, more of something, anything. Heated sweet and warm, his tongue clashes with mine and before I know it, it is all a memory. My breathing will not quiet, the loud beating of my heart must be killing his ears, not to mention my embarrassingly loud breaths. I feel his heart beat racing though looking at him he isn't all flustered and feeling slightly woozy as I am.

I feel my face flush at the thought of what we just did… I kissed him!

Shit!


	16. Chapter 16

**Okay so here is a tid bit of a chapter probably should have been added onto the last chapter as part of it but well i write in little spurts sometimes and this is all that wanted to be inspired and if i don't post what i write i end up editing and making things bad so i just post and call it good so ENJOY sorry it is so short :)**

Chapter 15

I pull away from him as the reality of the whole scheme of things starts to flood my brain, resistance—his large firm hands on my shoulders. I feel myself blanch under his gaze, frozen straddling the man's lap, his eyes on me but the depth or what emotion is in them I don't know seeing as I can look at him. I watch is throat move through partly closed eyes.

"Wait where are you going?" He asks and I hear an almost panic in his voice, that can't be right, I internally shake my head in disbelief.

"Bella, are you gonna run from me now after kissing me like that?" His voice is soft almost teasing and I risk a slight glance at him, eyebrows raised, softened features a expression that make him look much younger than he actually is.

"I don't know what you want." I whisper feeling so lost at the moment. I don't think I believe in just having sex with him, teenaged hormones be damned, It just doesn't feel right, not to mention awkward either in the long run or short term depending how it goes.

"I don't know what your thinking so hard about, but I didn't think it was rocket science and even if it was I'm sure you could handle it. I like you Bella, I can't get you out of my mind and before you run and hide in your room…I'm not talking about sex. Hell, I'm not gonna lie and say I haven't thought about it with you, but damn this isn't coming out right is it."

He pauses and I relax a bit from the tense frozen position I happened to have taken during his short speech.

"What I am trying to say is that I want to know you. I have been kicking myself in the ass since you got here because yeah at first there was the physical attraction but I could tell right away that their was something that quirked my interest in you as a person."

Shock rolls off me at his words, his hands still hold me on his lap though I hadn't tried to leave again since he first halted me. Edward is telling me Bella Swan that he want to get to know boring old me.

"Do you still want to go hide under your bed or where ever it is you go when I freak the fuck out of you?" He asks his amusement apparent but the thought of him find amusement in my fear makes me a little mad. How dare him joke about my actions?

"I do not hide under my bed." I say angrily and narrow my eyes at him.

"I know, I was just trying to lighten the mood by teasing you, I'm sorry. Insensitive jerk here you know since I do have testosterone coursing through my bloodstream."

Damn him he made me laugh I think as the traitorous chuckles escape me.

"Now that wasn't so hard, how bout another kiss?"

"Don't push your luck buddy." I rely as I lean forward and place my head on his chest, kinda hiding from him yet all together not.


	17. Chapter 17

**okay so my brain is being eaten by worms or somthing cause i seriously can't write more than 200 words at a time and then it shuts off i finally got somewhere with this story and it is short again but posting a chapter from one story usually gets my brain juices flowing for the others so hopefully it all works out and i round about back at this fic with a lengthy chapter after i run through my other stories Lucky may hold out for me yet But until then ENJOY ..... :)**

Chapter 16

I don't remember falling asleep or lying down next to him on the couch, but now my eyes are open and his soft breathing has me on alert. A little frightened to wake up next to Edward, his arms around me, he is holding me so close. I close my eyes dead set on pretending to sleep until he wakes up and the whole situation has time to settle. No, I shout at myself and groan knowing now that nature is calling I will have to extract myself from his arms.

Ever so slowly I try and ease myself off the couch without touching him or waking him up. I make it a half a step and I feel his warm hand on my elbow. My eyes close, my heart races, and I slowly turn to look at him.

"Where you going?" He asks rubbing his eyes with his other hand his voice giving way to his sleepy condition.

"Bathroom." I softly say moving away from his grasp.

"Don't hide in there too long, or I'll just have to come in and get you." I don't respond to his threat, not sure if he is serious or joking, not sure what I would do if he made good on his so called threat.

The bathroom door shuts loudly and I sink to the floor forgetting my reason for coming in here almost instantly. I pull my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them. Unbelievable is what I would describe today as, absolutely mind-boggling. I don't know weather to cry or scream with joy or fear of what this means. I pull myself to my feet and wash my face and take care of the real reason I am in the bathroom. I look in the mirror at the image of myself and wonder how and why I have found myself here, what am I suppose to do say carpi diem or get out before I end up with a broken heart when Edward realizes I am just a silly girl.

Before I can decide, I hear a knock on the door, "Bella, everything alright in there?"

Shit I have been in here a long time probably a good 45 minutes between sitting on the floor and staring off into the mirror on top of the functional aspects of my trip. I pull my hands through my hair and let out a deep breath to calm my nerves.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I say as I open the door to see him leaning against the wall a small smile on his face.

"Could you possibly just tell me what your thinking instead of running away, Bella if I am doing something to make you uncomfortable just tell me and I'll stop. If this isn't what you want just tell me."

What could I say to that? I have no clue what I want or don't want at the moment, mostly due to what me wanting him will mean in the long run. The what if's run through my head and the enormity of the decision rolls over me. Yes, he is an amazing man at least what I know of him, I would like to know more of him of course, but I can really see me falling for him. My mother's voice rings loudly in my head, her experiences with my father warning me against making rash decisions about boys, hell I haven't even been out on a real date with a guy, and here I stand looking at a guy would has the sexual prowess to contend with a Greek God. Intimidating, uncomfortable yeah I don't think those things can be erased with a mere change of actions, they are a given in any route we go from here.

"Uh." Yeah that sounds great a vowel sound no consonants in sight there or maybe it is more like a groan my vast vocabulary not showing through at the moment.

"It's really late and I think I should just go to sleep," I say look at him and I watch his features twitch a little at my dismissal of his questions, "I really am tired," I say and lean towards him and kiss him on the cheek quickly before he can respond.

He trails me to my room following me inside his presence is obvious so I turn around to face him.

"Goodnight Bella," He says with a smile but doesn't turn to leave right away.

"Why do you come in here at night?" I ask hesitating not looking at him but instead taking great interest in setting my alarm clock even though it was already set.

"You talk sometimes, and mostly I would just stop by wondering if you were aware of what you were saying, wondering truly what goes on in your head both while asleep and awake."

"Talking? What was I saying? Oh God." I turn around and glare at him hoping to hide my embarrassment with anger, gosh drooling on his lap would be better than this.

"Nothing I haven't heard before." That is not the answer I wanted and as I stare at him he has the nerve to wink and leave my room without responding further.


	18. Chapter 18

**Hope you all enjoy the longer chapter haha i finally managed to break through my writers block hope the results are good i never know why my brain does what it does with the characters Thanks for the reviews and the support and reassurance that the ages don't really make ed a perv and sorry for those who still do there needs to be some kind of dynamic to make a story line not all is just happy go lucky boy meets girl and they fall in love and then the lemons rain down which is good.... EnJOY :)**

Chapter 18

The warm smell of bacon is what brings me out of my dream, dreaming of what or who I shouldn't have to say, one tall and handsome baseball player has been gracing my dreams for quite a few nights now. I can only cringe when I think of what one nosy grimp has heard me mumble in my sleep. Makes me want to hide all day in my room, since I can't go to school on the weekend I will have to face him. Bacon why oh why did he have to be cooking that wonderful breakfast meat.

I climb out of bed just as the fire alarm starts to drone and the warm comforting smell of bacon starts to turn to burnt bacon instead. I groan and dig through my clothes for something to wear. After the second shirt I wonder why I am bothering to try, this isn't me. If he can't deal with me being who I am then that is just that, regardless of what my thoughts are on the matter I try on two more shirts and finally decide on one.

The reflection in the mirror mocks me as I glance one last time before heading out of my room, I roll my eyes at myself and swallow back my slight fear and annoyance. The fear for facing Edward and the annoyance that he doesn't understand the concept of cooking bacon correctly, hell at least he cooks huh?

My hand shakes as I grasp the knob, I bite my lip hard as I turn the and hear the click. Here goes nothing or everything, I could really screw this up couldn't I? My bottom lip still clenched between my teeth I make my way out into the living room only to start laughing hysterically.

The fire alarm is still blaring, how I forgot I don't know. Edward is standing with the front door open, the bacon is all over the living room floor pan, grease, and all. What makes it so funny is Edward is standing in nothing but boxers looking stupefied by the whole scenario. The alarm blares for about 30 more seconds and my laughter is the only sound in the room.

"Not funny." Edward states with a glare and I can't help it but that just makes it all the funnier, he is actually mad.

The front door slams abruptly halting my laughter, shocking me a bit too. Something slams into the kitchen sink with a loud crash. I take a deep breath and decide that I should help clean up the mess. The pan is first, which I fill with the bacon and start slowly towards the kitchen, knowing full well there is an upset Edward waiting for me.

I set the pan of ruined bacon on the counter and lean back against the wall. Edward turns and our eyes lock for a brief second before he looks away staring at the remainder of the mess on the living room floor. I wait in silence, the anticipation grows ragged in the air, both of us waiting and not getting anywhere.

"How do you get grease out of carpet?" I ask quietly turning and frowning at the mess.

"Fuck if I know." Edward almost growls at me.

"Ummmm, I'll try soap." I mumble and head toward the sink to grab the paper towels and the soapy sponge from the sink.

The actual mess comes up nicely up as far as the stains go I have no clue. I completely soaked the floor so I can't even tell where the stain might be when it dries.

"Be careful on the floor it might be slippery." I grumble as I toss the last of my paper towels in the trash.

He is still just standing there looking pissed off, same place I left him before I started cleaning his mess up. I roll my eyes at his expression; he sure has a temper sometimes. I open the fridge wondering what we will be eating now that our breakfast is ruined.

"Don't bother I lost my appetite." He mumbles and stalks the best he can't with crutches out of the room. His bedroom door slams moments later as I pull out some more food, now intent on making anything but breakfast.

I fry up some ham and cheese sandwiches and reheat the hash browns Edward left along side the stove.

My knuckles feel heavy as I rap them against his bedroom door, I've never sought him out before, never set foot in his room either. The actual journey down the hall to his door seemed much easier than the actual knocking. I am met with silence the worst thing I can imagine when knocking on a door you aren't positive you should be even opening. Opening is exactly when my brain is beckoning my muscles to do, at first just the slight crack in the door has my breath halted in my throat, but as I easy it open I remember to breath.

The scent of Edward's room assaults me, warm and slightly musky. He is seated on his bed, back against the headboard with his good knee bent and cast stretched out straight. Instantly I am thankful he put on pants, though my eyes still rake over his bare chest. His eyes are closed as his head rests against the back of the bed and if I thought the knocking was difficult hell now what? My feet drag on the floor, the plate of food in my hand weighs a ton, but I keep going determination the only thought keeping me from running from the room. He doesn't scare me but the whole situation just screams at me.

"I…uh brought some lunch." I say half way across the room.

His eyes open boring into me, "It ain't exactly lunch time, Bella." He says dryly.

"I know." I close the distance between us and hand the plate with the sandwiches and hash browns on it to him. I take a seat on the bed sitting cross-legged beside him on his overly large bed.

He looks at the plate in his hand and then glances up at me and I watch as his grumpy face turns to a slight smile. I go to grab my sandwich from the plate, my stomach no longer in a knot might be able to handle some food now.

"Hey." I protest as the plate floats out of my reach, sandwich still securely nestled on top.

"Oh you want some of my lunch." He smiles at me and raises an eyebrow in question.

"Well, since you threw my breakfast on the floor, maybe you could share."

"I guess you can have a little." He concedes with a smirk and rips off a small corner of one of the sandwiches. "Here."

I take the offering and pop it into my mouth just happy that he isn't scowling at me anymore, wasn't my fault to begin with. He continues to only tear off small portions of the sandwich I roll my eyes at his silly attempts and grab his half-eaten sandwich while he is occupied with the hash browns. Now I have a whole half of a sandwich instead.

"That's mine." He laughs as I take a large bit.

"I made them," I mumble with my mouth full.

"Thank you." He smile and grabs the sandwich from my hand ripping it in two.

"I don't mind cooking."

"That's not what I meant, thank you for coming in here instead of letting me stew and beat myself up for something stupid." His hand comes up towards my face and brushes my check so lightly.

I have no clue how to respond or what would even be an appropriate response if I had enough guts to say it, so I just look back at him. After several minutes, the food is gone and I flop backwards on his bed along side him my head near his feet, his face now hidden from my view due to his up turned knee. It feels great to relax, my morning wake up not stemming from the blissful peace end of the road.

"So you have to tell me what you have heard me say in my sleep?" I say quietly breaking the silence.

He chuckles softly and leans forward on his knee so I can see him, "What makes you so afraid, having interesting dreams lately?"

"Just tell me." I prop myself up on my elbows to get a better look at him.

"What so you can turn a lovely shade of red or maybe just hide from me for the rest of the day, I don't think so. I have you here in my bed and don't think you are leaving it any time soon."

I open my mouth to say something and then snap it shut. He seems to get some demented kind of pleasure out of making me squirm in my seat; I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from gaping at him again.

"Do you want me to stop or do you like the thought of me wanting you in my bed?" His eyes are smoldering and yet he still holds an arrogant gull about him, "Talk to me Bella, I won't bite, I won't judge you."

My throat fill full under his gaze, words lost in my mind even though I want to speak though my capacity to do so seems gone. I swallow loudly and look at him again, when did I become so flustered around guys, he isn't just some guy at school he is a man. What does he expect of me?

I press my lips together hard my teeth digging into them just a bit giving me a little more courage, "I don't want you do stop but to be honest the thought of actually being in your bed while it may be thrilling it borders on the terrifying also." I whisper and divert my eyes away from his.

He smiles at me I notice from the corner of my eye, I couldn't help but peek at him. He leans back against the headboard backing off a bit.

"Like I said last night, tell me what I am doing wrong. I'm not gonna pressure you to do anything well, except maybe to tell me what you're thinking." He laughs lightly.

"You're not doing anything wrong, it's just me, I mean I have never well and now…I mean I live here and you're not just…do you know what I am trying to say?"

"Not in the least." Running his hand through his hair, he distracts my thoughts for a moment.

"You're just not how I pictured my first boyfriend to be, I mean I live with you it is very atypical." I let my elbows drop me to the bed pulling his face away from my eyes, though I bet he can still see me.

"I see, as atypical as your first kiss was I hope I lived up to your standards." I feel his weight shift on the bed and before I know it he has reversed his position and his face pop up just above mine. "Hi."

"Hi." I reply as his warm breath washes over my face, the smell of ham and cheese assaulting me.

I feel his finger against my collarbone and wonder what kind of view he has, why did I choose this low cut shirt, oh right I think as I remember my morning indecision. His cold finger slowly traces along my skin, my mind says run while my body says stay.

"I've never seen you wear this kind of shirt before, Bella." His finger traces the fabric of my shirt, not touching my skin but coming darn close. "Did you wear it for me? Did you want to know my eyes would be on you?"

I let out a deep breath and look at him, "Do you enjoy doing that? And don't you dare ask what cause you know exactly what you're doing?" I say shoving him backwards a bit; he doesn't move right away letting me know that it isn't my force that has him backing up.

"I think it's kinda fun teasing you..." Without warning he leans in close, his lips meet mine slowly. His tongue is warm and moist against my lips, as my brain fights to catch up I part my lips to his as I feel his hand trail slowly down my side. My hand tentatively seeks on his bare skin skirting his chest in favor of his large arm. Firm and warm under my touch my focus lost in the touch of his skin. His lips leave mine trailing down my neck towards the vast expanse of exposed skin. My breath escapes me when his thumb grazes across my nipple though my shirt and bra are still in place.

Ring…………ring.

A groan escapes Edward's mouth as he reaches toward the bedside table to answer the phone.

"Hello." I hear him say into the phone, "Yeah sure hold on a minute." He replies back and I silently curse who ever interrupted what we were doing. I watch as Edward puts his hand over the phone speaker before turning towards me.

"Bella, your Mom's on the phone." I grimace as I extend my hand to grab the cordless phone.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 23

I put the phone to my ear and walk out of Edward's room as I say, "Hello." Dread washes over me at the questions I will have to answer and any lies I might have to make up. At least my mother won't be able to see the lies on my face I roll my eyes at the thought of talking to her face to face.

I shut the door to my bedroom as I listen to my mother fire off about a dozen questions without letting up. Choosing my words wisely will be my only hope of getting throught this phone call without blurting out something stupid.

"Uh, yeah school is fine; I like it here very quiet and peaceful." I reply answering incompletely.

"Do you and Edward get along okay? I heard from Phil that his father was worried he would give you a poor reception."

I roll my eyes not wanting to discuss Edward, what if she heard something in my voice and I gave it away. She would totally flip and drag me away from here, my mother always being one to flaunt her own mistakes as examples of how not to live my life. Older boyfriend, while still in high school number one no no, my father and mother the prime example of how high school relationships can only end in heartbreak, according to my mother.

"Yeah, sure he's very polite and considerate even though he is having a hard time being injured." I mumble into the phone quietly, not wanting Edward to be able to overheard my conversation.

"Everything is really okay you kinda sound distracted." Yeah well I was I think and my mind just about takes me back there, to his bed.

"Uh yeah I was just doing some school work when you called; you know how I get when I start diving into all the knowledge." I say sarcastically but I doubt she notices.

"Oh sorry to interrupt I was just calling to let you know Phil and I will be near you next week hoped we could stop by for a visit, I miss my little girl."

"Sure, don't see why not." I cringe knowing full well my lies won't go over well in person, maybe I can just avoid the bad topics.

"Great, oh hey honey, I have to go we gotta run or we will be late, Wednesday dear…we'll call." She says bring me a great amount of relief, but the nervousness about her visit still lingers strong and true.

She left the room not wanting me to hear the conversation to her mother, not that I mind but I am curious about what she is going to tell her. What would her parents say if they knew I am interested in their daughter? I groan, she is 17 I remind myself of the very fact of why she is living with me instead of living on her own. Can I really do this to her? Can I have a relationship with a teenager who is living in my home, who is suppose to be here to help me out.

I close my eyes and my head drops against he wall at my back, I am thinking with every other part of my body that matters besides my brain. My heart and my dick have been making my decisions but have I once thought about the possible implications of what pursuing this could mean. Yes, I have shit that is why I backed off to begin with, didn't give that more of a passing glance let alone more than a couple days before I knew I couldn't.

I pinch the bridge of my nose and let out a deep breath and will away the negative thoughts.

"Edward?" I hear her voice and a slight knock on the door. I smile at her as she pushes it open, despite the foul mood I put myself in I can't take my own feeble insecurities out on her.

"What did your mother want?" I reply as she hands me back the phone.

"Oh, just to say she and Phil will be stopping by next week for a visit." I feel my face pale at the mention of them coming here, I am bound to be transparent as cellophane.

"Really, that's great." She rolls her eyes at me obviously my fake reassurance not entirely convincing.

"You are a horrible liar." She smirks at me.

"Sorry, just trying to be supportive." I frown at her sheepishly.

"Are you scared of my mother?" She laughs at me.

"Course not, just don't think she or Phil would take it too kindly that I was their daughter's first kiss and want to be her first for many other things."

She blushes and diverts her eyes from mine, suddenly going shy on me all over again.

"Well, she'll be here on Wednesday I think." She shrugs as if it isn't set in stone.

"Are you just gonna stand there all day or come have a seat?" I ask not wanting her to go.

"Ummmm, I think I should..." She starts taking a step backwards away from me.

"Bella?"

"Look Edward I don't think I can do this." She stammers and I feel my heart start to feel like it is in my throat; I'm such a fool I laid it all out there for her to see.

Her eyes close and I actually hear the deep breath she sucks into her lungs as she takes a moment to regain her thoughts and hopefully her common sense.

"Okay, you, me and your bed is just not gonna work," My brain is hearing her but what I don't understand is the concept of why she is saying this, hell I thought it worked pretty well until we were interrupted.

"We can go to your room." I suggest maybe she doesn't like my room.

"No! that is not it, maybe I'm not being clear…no beds I can't deal with the implications that states…"

"I'm not implying anything, I already told you I won't force you to do anything you don't want." Damn I sound like a broken record.

"That is just it Edward what I want and what I know are two different things. Hell, I am just gonna say it I want you, I want to kiss you, I want you to kiss me, I want things I can't say that I know have run through your mind." She says exasperatedly.

"I don't see the problem." I say dumbly and confused by her statement if she wants it why is the bed a problem.

"Ugggh, it is a problem because I know I shouldn't and I know I can't and it isn't just because it is you, it's because I only just kissed you and the thought of kissing you in your bed has me want oh so much more and that scares me beyond anything I have ever known."

I take a deep breath and try to relax despite my mounting frustration I smile, "Bella, I understand I think?"

"Then you get it when I say I can't join you on your bed, and know when I say that it means that said activities that take place in a bed are to only be done in a bed and not somewhere else instead." She raises an eyebrow at me and I can't help but smile at her avoidance of any explicit words or phrases in her statement, it is kinda cute in an absolutely frustrating way.

"So explicitly are we just taking about sex as in the intercourse type or does that include oral sex too?"

She blushes again and bites the inside of her cheek.

"I thought I was clear." She mumbles.

"I just want to be clear so I can get my game plan straight and to do that I need to know what you are considering off limit activities and I wouldn't want my mouth to end up somewhere you would deem inappropriate while we are in the front room on the couch or say in the kitchen, maybe with you sitting on the counter."

Her eyes widen and before I can stop her being the gimp I am she is gone and her bedroom door slams against the door frame. Damn I pushed her too far again, I wonder how long she will hide from me today. I groan as I start to get up to head out to the more appropriate living room, chances are better that she will come to me in there. My bedroom is now clearly a scary place, I smile wondering how I can change that.


	20. Chapter 20

**Okay so next chapter is up yeee for all of you who were patiently waiting for it to arrive, sorry i got caught up reading books instead of writing well at least i have updated now Thank you all for reading alerting faving and of course always love and cherish all the reviews always good to know you are reading **

It only took me about 20 minutes before the realization set in that I had indeed ran away and hid in my room like a frightened child. I take a deep breath once again and glance at my clock another 20 minutes has passed now that I am fully aware that I made a fool out of myself yet again. I can't face him, I don't even think I can look at him knowing that he was thinking about putting his mouth there. Maybe Mom and Phil will come save me from my self-induced torture but in reality the mere thought of them telling me I have to leave here scares me, I would always wonder and it would forever be the constant what if in my life I could never outrun. No, I want to be here and I want to see where this thing with Edward leads, hell I know where it will lead if I let it—me and him lying beneath the sheets of his bed, gosh I very much doubt he would want the sheets with the way he talks and acts.

I shake my head to clear my thoughts, dirty as they are I really need to get ahold of myself and get my nerve bottled up and head out of my room or Edward may just come to his senses and realize I am in fact a mere teenager. No thrill to be had here just me fumbling and hiding from the man. Can I be any more pathetic? Okay more self-pity not good line of thinking, but better than my over active imagination delving into things I haven't a clue about. The clock tells me that I have to do something the longer I sit here the more I want to start answering my questions aloud just so that I can hear someone speak.

I climb up off the floor and look at myself in the mirror giving myself the pep talk of a lifetime, I can do this, I repeat over and over until I think I start to believe it. I trust him. I think that thought over again as my mother's words sneak into my mind, "never trust boys all they want is one thing, horny perverts…" I hear her chuckle in my head as she told me those words of wisdom at the tender age of 12. Geesh, what did my mother think 12 year old boys wanted from me? I roll my eyes and remind myself that Edward has as much told me he wants to know me and it isn't totally about sex. That should hasn't stopped him from voicing that other opinion about me a time or two, I think he was very clear in his bedroom earlier about what he wants.

With my stomach threatening me, my brain warning me, and my hormones pushing I step boldly into the hall outside my room. Sure the first move is always the easiest it is the actual progression towards the living room that may give me the most hassle. My eyes dart at him, sitting there on the couch reading a book looking so normal and so very unlike the intimidating man I ran from earlier. I sigh and sink down onto the couch next to him avoiding his eyes that is if he even took them off the pages.

I pull my knee up onto the sofa and turn to face him as the questions in my head start to spin a web of confusion. He is indeed peering at me from behind his book, which I notice is a paperback novel portraying a detective giving wind of the fact that it is a mystery novel.

"Reading anything good there buddy?" I ask trying to sound confident and casual and not the nervous wreak I am.

He just chuckles and tosses the book onto the coffee table, "Not near as interesting as you, I can always predict the next move in a crime novel but hell you keep me guessing. The only thing I have figured out about your behavior is how to send you running towards your room, though I hope that will change and the thought of sex has you wanting me." He winks at me and I stiffen on the couch once again unsure of how to respond but smile slightly at him anyway. That is precisely why I do run away I want to say but I stop myself for fear of his response. Better to stay quiet than lead him in the direction I am sure we should not go down yet.

"You gonna be able to hold that tongue of yours when you meet my mother?"

"I sure hope so my dad would probably kill me if he found out that I have been anything but gentlemanly to Phil's daughter."

I snort and regret it as his smile broadens a bit and his mouth parts slightly. "Is that so? So you know Phil well huh?"

"Well, yeah you really think he would let you live here if I didn't, he may not be your real father but he'd never send you to live with someone he didn't think highly of."

"So Phil finding out that you and I…um…well that wouldn't be a good thing huh?"

"No, he would probably kick my ass into next Tuesday, not that I could fight back much with this cast and all but knowing him he would wait till I recovered just to break my leg for me all over again."

I laugh loudly at that Phil wouldn't hurt a fly let along Edward. Though that is an untested subject matter, seeing as I never brought home a boy before.

"You think that's funny your dad avenging your innocence."

"It's funny you are so sure I'll be willing to let you have it."

"Trust me darlin', once you get a taste of it nothing will keep you away."

"Oh my! that was way cheesy even for you." I laugh clutching my stomach with my hands.

"Cheesy? You think I'm cheesy." He says sounding a little dejected but he asked for it with all the corny lines and innuendoes he throws at me.

"More than Mac n Cheese." I roll my eyes.

"Mmmm that sounds good to me I think I'll make some for lunch." He says and starts to get up off the couch.

"We just ate lunch remember." I say following him.

"Course how could I ever forget." The look in his eyes has me pausing for a moment but that is it.

"Come on lets go outside." I say deterring him towards the back door. I never went out the back door but from the looks of the yard from the window the view is spectacular. The sun is peaking through the clouds a bit so it is a little brighter than the usual day here in Washington.

Edward hobbles out behind me into the backyard without complaint all thoughts of food put on hold for the moment.

"Come on lets go sit down in the sun for a bit." He says excitement flooding his voice.

"How will you get up off the ground?" I ask as he ungracefully positions himself onto the ground, his hurt leg never once jostled too much.

"Give me some credit Bella, I maybe hurt but I am far from not being able to get up if I have the proper motivations, now get down here and join me in the sun. You know we have to treasure what the weather permits."

"I know." I laugh, "love the sun by the way." I take a seat in front of him on the ground keeping my distance a bit all too aware of what happened the last time I sat by him close.

"I'll remember that, you like sunbathing too?"

I roll my eyes, "Does my pale complexion really give away that I like to sunbathe, I only have two colors pasty white and bright red."

"As much as I like the look of red on your skin I think you blush enough to hold me over, no need to burn your skin just to satisfy my quirky tastes."

"You like seeing me blush?" I ask suddenly realizing the motivation behind just about everything out of his mouth sometimes.

"More than I am willing to admit." His eyes cast down a bit before he looks up at me again.

"What about you Eddie boy do I get to see you out here sporting a tight little number?" I break out in giggles and turn away from him as the words I said actually hit my brain.

"Getting curious Bella?" I hear him ask quietly as my giggling subsides, but I still can't look at him so I say laying on my back looking up at the clouds floating in the sky.

"Course I'm curious, what girl wouldn't be?" I finally say rolling over to my side and leaning on my shoulder, Edwards toes of his cast leg are inches from my face now. My gaze can't stop from trailing up that said leg to the apex where it meets his abdomen. My eyes linger a bit but I force them to continue their trail up his chest to his face where I meet his eyes and smiling face.

"You don't know what's under there do you?" He asks and I just want to die or run or something but actually keep my eyes on him. Don't answer that my brain screams.

"Course I do we have already proven I am curious." I hear my voice saying.

"I'm not talking about pictures in a textbook Bella…or on the internet." He says his eyes still holding mine in place.

"I've never seen a panda in person but I still know what one looks like."

He chuckles at my answer and I tear my eyes away from his, feeling stupid and childish once again.

"C'mere Bella." I hear him softly say urging me to move closer to him instead of farther away.

"Why?"

"Cause if you are down by my feet I can hardly kiss you." He says matter-of-factly.

I start at his blatant declaration of his intentions but I know I should be use to his directness already.

"We are outside in the open you can't expect me to push you further than a kiss out here. You would get cold." He chuckles as I tentatively move towards him. Inch by inch I roll my body towards him, to end up still lying on my side about a foot away from him.

"Do you want me to kiss you?" He ask leaning towards me and easing me down onto my back stopping only when his lips are a hairs width from mine.

He pulls back before I answer and I feel his nose trail along my jaw line, his breath warm and a little moist as he speaks, "Perhaps you would prefer something more along the lines of…" I feel the tip of his tongue side up the side of my throat just barely touching my skin.

His breath so warm almost hot against my neck as his lips just barely brush against my skin and it causes my breathing to become that much more difficult. I want to touch him with my hands to feel his hair or maybe his back but I am afraid to move for fear of doing something wrong. Moisture on my neck takes my breath away as I feel him place an opened mouth kiss on the side of my neck. I become lost in the feel of his mouth, lips, and teeth against my skin. It seems like hours until he stops, my breathing not coming easy as his deep green eyes once again meet mine.


	21. Chapter 21

**Okay here you all go hope you enjoy finally sat down to write another chapter on this story sorry the updates are further apart that when i first started writing but i have to be in a quirky mood to write this story it isn't quite the kind of fanfic i am use to writing so ENJoY **

Chapter 21

"Yo, Are you back here Edward!" I start at the sound of a loud booming male voice and try to pull myself away from Edward's arms. A couple seconds later and out of the corner of my eye I see Emmett appear around the corner of the house, great his friend is here and Edward wants to boast thus why he is not letting me up. I try and give Edward another shove to let myself become free but he only maneuvers me like I am a rag doll and I end up sitting in front of him awkwardly.

I refuse to meet eyes with Emmett and instead I find myself tracing random patterns on the large cast next to me. My one finger sliding over the plaster steals my concentration until I jump at the sound of my name and look up at the huge broad smile on Emmett's face.

"I see you are settling in quite nicely." His eyebrows jump as he speaks and I find my eyes rolling at his sense of humor.

"Good thing your neighbors are so far away, wouldn't want to flash any of them though I don't think I would mind a peak." He laughs again and I clench my jaw.

"I didn't know you had a crush on Edward, I always knew all the girls liked him but you too!" I say before I can help it, my need to say something strong and just like that I feel Edwards arms leave me as he cracks up laughing. Emmett looks amused also but slightly horrified at the accusation. I take the opportunity to get to my feet, leave Edward laughing beside me, and make my way back to the house leaving the two of them to sort it all out without me.

"Bella you don't have to leave." I hear Edward call but just keep walking intent on doing something constructive instead like cooking dinner.

The back door clatters shut behind the two men a little later, I already popped dinner in the oven and was just pouring me a glass of juice.

"Hey, that's mine." I whine as the fresh glass of apple juice is swiftly snatched out of my grasp by Emmett. I cross my arms across my chest and glare at the overly large form that is now downing my juice in one gulp.

"Geeez, did you even know what you just drank, taste buds probably didn't even stand a chance at grabbing at the liquid."

"What?" He coughs obviously chocking a bit on the last of the juice.

I hear Edward laugh as he pulls out the jug of juice from the fridge and hands it to me.

"Thanks." I smile before I grab another glass. "You want?" He nods his head slightly and I grab two glasses instead of one.

With the glasses on the counter I pour the juice into the two glasses and just as I think I am finished pouring Emmett slides his glass in next to our silently asking for more. After I fill the third glass, the jug of juice is for all intents and purposes gone.

"Dinner will be ready in about an hour." I state before I bring my glass to my lips, the counter supporting my weight as I lean back and smile at the two guys.

"Are you implying that since I'm here you are gonna feed me, Bella?" Emmett smirks and looks towards Edward for a moment.

"Well, if you are here when we eat how could I not, I mean for you to just sit there and wait while we both eat wouldn't work cause you know that just wouldn't be nice, though I am not sure how long you will be staying so that is why I stated when we would be eating so you could justly decide for yourself…"

"Whoa there." Edward says with a chuckle effectively making me blush.

"Sorry." I mumble and turn to leave the kitchen heading to safer areas such as the living room.

Emmett stayed for dinner but left shortly afterwards from some not so subtle prompting from Edward, apparently Emmett interrupting our outdoor activities didn't sit well. Edward rushed me through the dishes and now that he got me settled in on the couch the tension in the air is so thick I think I can actually see it. The TV is off and the lights in the house are off except for the kitchen light, the mood as you could say is set for what ever Edward has up his sleeve I roll my eyes thinking of all the cheesy and theatrical things he could do and say at this point. There isn't a movie I haven't seen where a guy and a girl sit on a couch in near darkness that transition into a not so G rated scene without some corny line or stupid cliché move.

I glance at him on the other end of the couch and wish I knew what he was thinking, how easy that would make life. He is watching me I realize almost immediately well what else would he be looking at since he neglected to provide either of us with entertainment, the mere thought of which is making me nervous as hell.

"You're making me nervous." I confess though I think he already knows that.

"I know." He smiles at me again, "How can I stop your nerves from ruining our evening?" He sounds so sincere though his voice is considerate his eyes hold a glint that says much more about his intentions.

"I'm not sure you can." I mummer and look down and taking a sudden interest in the pattern on the couch cushions.

I hear him take a deep breath and let it out loudly.

I can't do this my brain screams but I so very much want to give him a chance. Would I really be feeling this nervous if he was a high school guy? Would I be putting up the same walls? Yes. My mother's voice screams at me and I push her words away and try and focus on what me, Bella, what do I want to do?

"What exactly are your intentions?" I ask him as I look up.

"My intentions?" He says incredulously.

"Your plan you spoke of earlier, you know I don't like surprises so lay it out for me what exactly you intend to do sitting here on the couch with me in the near dark." I feel the red on my cheeks as I take in his expression, underneath the humor another emotion is lurking one that is just a bit scarier.

"You think knowing would help settle your nerves." I nod not wanting my voice to crack as I think about exactly what could come out of his mouth as he answers my question.

"Well, most of what I plan depends on how you respond, I'm not quite as sure of myself as you seem to think, if you say stop or even tense up I'm not gonna push you. Though even if you seemed willing there is a point I don't think I would pass tonight. Hell, Bella what do you want to hear, just thinking about kissing you again has me riled not to mention my thoughts on just getting to second base, if you don't mind my baseball analogies. I'm not looking to going any further than getting there."

"Have you ever hit a homerun?" I ask and he looks at me a little shocked for a moment until I realize how that must sound, shit. "I mean during a real baseball game, not the other thing."

He snorts but smiles, "No…uh though I have during practice."


	22. Chapter 22

**okay so look i am updating only a day or so after the last update yeee for me hope you all like hard chapter to write sorry if it doesn't live up to expectations but oh well use your imaginations :) ENJOY Thanks for all the reviews and alerts and faves **

Chapter 22

Second base huh? What exactly is second base? I wonder as I stare at him across the couch from me. Maybe he would have told me if I hadn't of gotten curious about his career. I feel my face frowning as I contemplate what exactly he meant. He did say he would stop if I didn't want to do anymore and that he didn't plan on hitting a homerun tonight of all things eek! What exactly would a homerun entail? geesh I am such a prude sometimes.

"Did I confuse you? Cause you sure look deep in thought again." His voice cuts into my mind making me blush, cause his voice interrupted the very thoughts that he is so insistent on talking about with me. Do normal people talk about sex casually like it is an everyday activity, well for some it might be. Maybe something is wrong with me if I can't have talk about it then. No, no, that can't be right, I shake my head slightly clearing my thoughts. Oh, shit Edward asked me something didn't he.

"Confuse?" I ask quietly wondering if that means yes but at the same time hoping it means something else.

"Yes? Do you need a definition of the word? Or perhaps a definition of some other term seeing as you asked for clarification on the word kiss I would believe anything."

"I'm not a moron." I spit out feeling demeaned a bit.

"I never said you were, it's just that something I said sent you off into your own little world for a good five minutes I don't want to offend you it's just that, shit…just tell me." He says with a sigh clearly a little frustrated hopefully not with me.

"Fine, What happens at second base?" My courage is bound to make an appearance every once in a while hope it sticks around a bit more tonight.

His smile returns and he opens his mouth only to close it again. "I don't think I've ever had to explain this before…" He is still smiling, "It's easier to show you than explain I'd think."

"Tell me or you don't stand a chance, I'll go to bed right now and lock my door so what ever it is you have been listening to me say won't even be heard tonight." Go me courage holding strong.

"You don't have any clue do you, come on Bella you can put two and two together what do guys usually do next in movies or on TV. Hell, your mom married a baseball player and you don't know this analogy."

"My mother has very distinct ideas about me and boys, let's just say she wouldn't approve, and I haven't seen too many movies that deal solely with sex."

"The movie doesn't have to be about sex to let on about what comes next," He replies and I wonder if he even heard what I said about my mother and boys, probably not his mind is on the one track leading straight south.

"Uh….I mean I guess I know what you mean." I concede not really wanting to make him spell it out for me like I'm a 12 year old. He prolly already thinks I am beyond innocent and I guess he is corrupting me, but in a good way. I should know this stuff I mean what 17 year-old girl doesn't…I guess I do know but I just never took the time to think about it.

"Do you feel less nervous? How bout I turn on a movie?" He says and actually I do feel less nervous but I don't stop him from putting a movie into the player.

"What did you put in?" I ask as he returns sitting much closer to me than before only inches separate us now.

"Species." He says smirking at me, never heard of it.

"What kind of species is it about?" Maybe it would be about some kind of African wilderness animals or maybe a jungle type creature.

"Aliens from another planet."

"Oh, is it scary?"

"A little bit, trust me you won't mind." He says putting his arm around my shoulder without any form of hesitation.

The movie catches my interest right away with the little girl, I find myself relaxing against Edward with my head resting against his chest. Warm breath against my neck has me stilling at the sensation. I adjust my position wondering if it was intentional, my hand ends up resting on his thigh, and I quickly pull it away like it burned my skin only to have his much larger hand grasp it mid air and still it against my own thigh.

I take a deep breath and relax once again into the movie, missing something I'm sure as the characters on screen are new and in a heated discussion. Warm fingers slide against the bare skin of my stomach and the discussion on screen no longer seems relevant as his mouth seeks out the sensitive skin of my neck. I suck in a deep breath as he trails a finger higher up my torso stopping just shy of my bra, I don't let it out until his warmth breath assaults my ear.

"Breathe." He whispers and as I let it out he splays his fingers out and rests his entire hands across my abdomen. Warm yet rough against my skin making me want to squirm in his grasp, his lips against my neck I can't help it but push back against him.

"I'm gonna take your shirt off, tell me to stop." He whispers as he turns me on the couch to face him. His eyes lock with mine and I feel the light material of my shirt start to slide up my stomach, his thumbs trailing along my skin sending shivers up my spine.

"What am I gonna find underneath here?" He teases but his voice still barely a whisper almost deeper somehow if that is possible. Rhetorical question it must be how could he even expect an answer?

My shirt rises higher and higher yet, but as he starts to pull it over my head he stops blinding me and trapping my arms above my head. A small giggle escapes me though it gets caught in my throat when he kisses just above the clasp of my bra. Instead of unclasping it like I expect I feel his tongue trail up my chest to my neck until he reaches my shirt snuggly caught on my chin.

"Should I let you out? Are you ready to see me see you?" He whispers as he starts to inch the shirt off of me the rest of the way. I feel his smile against my neck as the shirt frees my arms and my eyes. A little embarrassed though my blush reseeded moments ago that is until his eyes lock on mine once again and the warmth rushes to my face once again.

More nervous than I have ever been, knowing that he knows I have no clue, knowing that he can see parts of me no guys have ever, knowing, feeling his hands on my bare skin. It is all too much. I want to panic and run but I can't because somewhere behind all my fears and my mothers echoing warnings I want this, I want to be here with Edward, right now.

"Relax…"He breathes into my neck just below my ear, "Should I take my shirt off too?" He asks his hands suddenly but slowly bringing mine to his clothed chest where I can feel the cotton shirt beneath my fingers.

"Yeah." I all but whisper and the shirt beneath my fingers is slowly replaced with skin, his skin, firm taut and warm. Though my hands have had the honor of feeling his bare skin this time it feels much more intimate than the first time.

His fingers trace the rise of my bra trailing down to the clasp, the last barrier before my chest is as bare as his own. His eyes meet mine as I feel the flick of his fingers let loose the clasp his eyes stay steady on my own as his hands do anything but stay still.

That night alone in my bed the movie, long over before we parted though in my mind I am still on the couch with Edward. In my mind, the sensations still as real as they were in the moment, they are forever ingrained in my brain.


	23. Chapter 23

**Here you all go next chapter is done hope you like and enjoy--- thanks for the reviews and thanks for reading **

Chapter 24 –Sunday Morning just for the point of reference case you got lost I know I did

I dreamt of him again though this time I dreamt of things I now know of instead of solely basing it all on imagined feelings and actions. I know what he tastes like and how he feels beneath my hands, oh and how his hands and mouth feel against me. Oh it is just too much to even think about at a moment like this, when the eggs are in the frying pan and I am about to pop the muffins in the oven. Good way to burn myself if you ask me, I roll my eyes and try to focus on what I am doing. Cooking food, mainly cheese omelets and strawberry muffins but I also have some sausage links sizzling in the pan next to the eggs.

I know we only went as far as second base but I still feel like it was something significant between us. I don't know exactly how long or why we stopped last night but he never pushed to go any further than that. Sometimes I just want to know what he is thinking, he sorta keeps himself one step ahead of me almost making me feel that much more naive about things. I mean has he done this before tried to seduce a teenaged girl, what kind of man is he really. What past relationships has he had before? Any serious ones? Gosh, what right do I have to question his pervious acts before I met him even. Of course he has probably had many girlfriends and had sex with over a dozen people, I mean he is gorgeous.

"Shit." I hiss as my hand comes in contact with the side of the pan I am taking out of the oven. "Ow." I shake my hand sporadically and dance around the kitchen trying to vent my pain some other way other than screaming curses.

"I'm glad the smell of food awoke me cause you sure look cute bouncing all over the kitchen." He is smiling hell he isn't allowed to think me hurting myself is funny or cute. I glower at him and roll my eyes when he only smiles bigger.

"Fine be mean, I'll eat all this food myself." I say as I start to put all the food I cooked on one pile on a plate, the six muffins I leave to cool in the stupid pan not willing to risk another encounter with that awful metal pan.

I take my plate to the couch and curl up with my inane portion of food and prepare myself mentally to eat the heaping helping.

"There is no way." He says joining me on the couch, "You know you want to share." His lip sticks out and I have further proof that I do not want to share, least of all with him.

"Maybe with the birds." I put my elbow up to cover the side of my plate.

"Awww come on you were pretty friendly with me last night." He inches closer to me, "You do remember don't you, you lying here with me in nothing but your jeans. Your creamy skin flushed against my caresses. Do you?" His voice is teasing but all together a little overwhelming, seeing as my thoughts and dreams took what we did and run to high heaven with it.

"Well, if you won't let me have some…maybe I'll just have to snack on something else." He leans over my shoulder placing warm sloppy kiss along it and slowly trailing down my arm.

"Fine, you win." I hand over the plate and extract myself from him and the couch. I can't get to the kitchen fast enough away from the look he was giving me, we can't just make out on the couch all day and that is so where today is heading if I let him get to me. I snag a muffin from the now cooled pan and start in on it. I grab us both a cup of coffee and shove my half-eaten muffin in my mouth so I can carry both mugs. I set them down on the coffee table before rejoining Edward on the couch with a much safer distance between us.

"You made muffins too?"

"Yeah." I say pulling the large muffin from my temporary holding place, "Brought you coffee."

"Thanks, omelet is wonderful by the way. You are better at breakfast than me, glad to not have to wake to the fire alarm going off."

"No problem." I say grabbing a link of his plate and popping it into my mouth.

"Thief."

"Look who's talking you stole the whole plate."

"Did not you handed it over willingly."

"Yeah, yeah but you threatened me so it is just the same." I laugh and take a sip of my coffee relishing in the smell. There is nothing like coffee in the morning to calm me down.

"Threatened?" He says confusingly.

"Yeah, what would you call what you did?"

"Ummm…I don't know but not threatening it's not like I am a self-proclaimed cannibal or something like that."

"Not self-proclaimed but I have no idea what you do in the secret confines of your bedroom when you are alone." He looks at me funny for a second before shaking his head slightly, did I say something wrong I wonder.

"No, I guess you wouldn't seeing as how I am alone, but what about you any secrets you want to share with me?"

"Secrets? What do you want to know?" What could he possibly be searching for with this line of questioning? Did something I say trigger this?

"I don't know, Bella tell me something no one knows about you." I feel my eyes widen and my brain sort of stubbles around a bit and I just want to shrink into the sofa instead of think of an answer.

"I don't know." I squeak out.

"Okay, how bout just something I don't know about you." Like that is any better I want to complain but I stop myself.

"Ummm," shit I can't think of anything good to say, I am boring and have nothing of value to add to this conversation, and I just know he has to have something specific he wants to know but doesn't want to ask outright. Not good. "I don't know…I'm allergic to shellfish."

"Good to know." He laughs setting down an amazingly empty plate on the coffee table and grabbing his coffee. "You could have done better though, something more specific to you and what makes you tick."

"I'm not a clock so I don't think I tick."

He rolls his eyes at me, "You know what I mean, I am certain you don't need or want a definition. Though the times you have asked for one certainly rank high on my most memorable conversation list." He smiles that smile that threatens to send my brain away.

"Okay, okay fine...but you have to give me a suggestion about what you want to know."

"A suggestion…okay how bout you tell me about something that happened when you were 12."

"12 why then?" I wonder as I think back to that time in my life and then it hits me I already told Edward something about that time of my life that must be why he wants to know more.

"That year was probably the last time me and my mother got along cause she went from friendly and embarrassing mom to overbearing and overprotective in the course of that year. The significant thing that set it off was me being invited to a little boys party only the little boy was turning 14 instead of 13 and my mother kinda had a nervous breakdown starting with forbidding me from going to aforementioned party. Her only excuse was that it would be inappropriate. His parents hired a clown yet my mother didn't deem it appropriate for me to attend because of his age and gender. That was the start to the pretty awful balancing act she is still trying to pull off; she wants her cute little girl to look and act a certain way but one wrong look from a guy and she starts ranting about everything wrong with boys and warning me to keep my distance." I look over at him wondering what he is thinking; I mean I just spilled the crux of my relationship problems with my mother to him, but he is the one who asked.

"Your mother is getting scarier by the second." His eyes don't hold anything but a little bewilderment and understanding, the slight smile calms my nerves and actually allows me to relax into the couch.

"Just wait till you meet her, not sure Phil is the one you should fear my mother might castrate you just for looking at me wrong."

Nervous laughter escapes his lips, "I guess I'll just have to have my fill of you before she gets here so I can keep my hands and looks to myself or I might just have to find some excuse to hide."

"Coward, though if you truly want me to believe you are serious about liking me you might want to take your chances with my mother." I laugh as I say that more cause of the scowl appearing on Edward's face.

"I hope you don't doubt that, Bella?" Crap, he looks a little hurt by that comment.

"I don't want to…but it's kinda hard to make my brain stop running circles around it all."

He doesn't say anything to that instead he reaches towards me and pulls me into his side, his arms enfolding around me. Warmth, comfort and a bunch of other feelings I don't quite know how to describe flood my senses. He doesn't kiss me but instead his head rests gently against mine.


	24. Chapter 24

**Okay here yu all go a little bella then a little Edward for all of you who want inside Eddie's head hope you like EnJOY Thanks for all the reviews they are always so great to read :)**

Chapter 25

"How was school?" He asks as I walk in the door just after 3:30 Monday afternoon. I wonder if he sits on the couch all day or just situates himself there for when I get home. Maybe he sleeps in bed all day when I'm at school, surely he does something right, well limited mobility kinda limits it all. I glance at his leg as I toss my bag down and make my way to grab a soda from the fridge.

"It was fine, the rumor mills has finally slowed down a bit, Jake didn't glare at me today so I didn't have to eat lunch alone." I flop down on the couch and pop to top on my can of soda.

"Jake huh? Why's would he glare at you?" Edward asks and I realize I never did tell Edward about Jake.

"Don't worry, I'm sure he got over it I mean none of the other guys seemed to care today," I say avoiding the question's main premise.

"Other guys?" He questions curiously.

"Yeah, I sit with them at lunch…it keeps me away from your admirers, you know the same girls I accidentally got in a fight with." I say sheepishly not wanting to let Edward know all the details.

"Oh right, you hang out with all guys at school, yet you still act all shy and naive around me." He laughs so I take it that he is joking.

"Well, they are all younger than me…and if you recall I'm only shy around you when you start talking like a horny toad."

The laughter from Edward is loud after that remark. While he is laughing, I decide it is time for me to take my book bag to my room I don't particularly want to hear his next comment, at least not right away. By the time I head back out into the living room there is no more laughing but Edward is sporting a silly looking smirk and I just know I am looking back at that smirk with wary eyes.

"So what is wrong with boys your own age?" He asks clearly trying to hold back more laughter.

"What?" My brow creases in slight confusion where did that question come from. I thought for sure he would ask more about Jake.

"Well, you seem to like them younger or older but never your own age."

I roll my eyes at his observation, one I never quite thought about, "I like guys my own age just fine." I say but as I think about it who do or have I talked to who is the same age as me that I can truthfully say I like.

"Name one?" He challenges me, I could easily lie how would he know the difference.

"Well…fine I met plenty of boys at school in my grade but they were all so pushy, trying to get me to let them drive your car or something equally annoying."

He smiles leaning closer to me, his body pushing me gently but with enough force that I feel some of his weight, "You don't think I'm pushy." He asks in a hushed whisper continuing to lean further into me.

"No you are beyond pushy…don't think I have a word for it maybe demandingly upfront and confident." He kisses my nose and backs off much quicker than his arrival.

"Guess that's what separates the boys from the men." Oh my gosh, now I can't stop laughing.

"I just got off the phone with my mother?" Bella says frowning at me like it is my fault she had to talk to her once I handed her the phone an hour ago.

"Have a nice conversation I hope." I ask and gain another frown from her but she throws herself onto the couch next to me her tiny hands gripping my shoulder.

She sighs before letting go of me and leaning into me her back now against my left arm her head slightly on my chest. I take a deep breath she rarely initiates the contact between us and now tonight of all nights, the night before her mother comes into my house bringing with her a man I looked up to for so many years, my father's friend.

The first time I met Phil I had to be only 10 or 11 years old when Phil was a rookie on the team my dad coached. He actually took time to talk to me the coaches tag along little boy, made my day back then. I idolized all the players knowing that one day that is just what I wanted to do, play baseball. I would sit and watch practice or hang out in the dugout with my dad during games that is until I was old enough to roam the stands by myself though I would always stop by and see my dad and those few players who would give me the time of day. Phil and my father were closer than most players and coaches, I even remember him coming to dinner though if he is Bella's mom's age then Phil had to be just out of high school when I first met him and I always thought he was so old.

Phil was around until I was probably 15 or so though he probably always kept in contact with my dad I never saw him again for more than a polite hello. I am nervous not only to meet Bella's mother but also about seeing someone who meant so much to me during my childhood. Oh crap, Bella is his daughter, step-daughter but hell he trusted me to take care of her not seduce her, on top of that Bella's mother seems distrustful of any men/boys after her daughter.

I feel Bella move slightly against my arm and I look down at her innocent looking face wondering how in the world this is going to all work out.

"You know she's gonna be here before I get home from school tomorrow, on your doorstep I mean not just in Forks."

"What time?" I ask as the fear of meeting Bella's mother alone rolls over me though all in all that might make it easier.

"Oh around lunch time, Renee isn't very good with time or being on it." She moves again and her eyes meet mine, "She won't bite you ya know…but I would keep her out of the kitchen just in case she thinks she should cook, you might get poisoned." She giggles at that making me want to scoop her up and tickle her.

"Anything else I need to know?" I ask my arm moving around her and my hand coming to rest on her hip.

"Well, as much as I would love for you to tell her about us, cause it would be comical in a horror movie gone wrong kinda way…I don't think you should mention it, in fact I think we should try and keep are distance from each other entirely. I am afraid of what she would do to you if she found out, what she would do to herself? To Phil?"

"I understand…exactly how long will they be here?"

"Just the one day, I think though I never did get out of her the reason why they are coming here."

"That's good; I don't think I could keep my hands to myself for longer than one day." I start to slide my hand underneath her shirt touching her soft skin just above her jeans, "In fact I don't think I can keep my hands entirely to myself at the moment either." I feel her tense a little as my finger slides just under the band on her jeans. I pull back and start trailing along her skin upwards instead of my previously southwards goal I settle for previously charted territory to sate my desire.

The higher my hand reaches the more awkward our position becomes and after a couple minutes I can't handle the crook in my arm and it just isn't enough anymore. I slowly trail my hand back down towards her hip where I can get a good grasp and proceed to pull her up and onto me. Her knees fall open around my hips reminding me of our first kiss, this very position her straddling me on the couch. She seeks out my lips before I even get my bearing, her mouth hot warm something I can never get enough of.

It takes a few moments for my brain to recover but my hands once again start to seek out her bare skin. Her stomach, her back and on her back is where I find the silly little clasps that keeps more of her silky skin from my grasp. With the fasteners loose, it takes all my restraint not to forcefully rip the shit and bra from her back so that I can see her in the brightly lit room.

Our mouths naturally part as her breathing demands her to relax and I take the opportunity to pull her shirt sky wards. She doesn't protest and seconds later nothing but smooth skin remains, not white but red flashes across her exposed skin as her arms seek to hide what I just uncovered.

I glance up at her flushed face taking it all in, her arms crossed covering her though not very well seeing as a stray little nipple is peeking out at me along side her wrist.

"Are you cold?" I ask trying to keep a straight face, I know damn well what is wrong but I can't help but tease her a little.

"No." She squeaks out not meeting my eyes.

I lean closer still intent on teasing her, "I see something poking out over here." I say just before my tongue flicks the little nub along with the wrist that is failing to cover it.

She gasps and tries to readjust her arms but before she does I pull her against me. My head against her shoulder I whisper softly in her ear, "There is no need to hide from me what I think is a beautiful site…there is no need to hide what I have already seen, felt, and tasted, Bella."

It takes her a few minutes but slowly and surely she drops her arms and her naked chest is now unhindered and pressed firmly against my own. I start by her ear and trail kisses along her throat stopping myself from marking her skin knowing full well that Bella's mother wouldn't appreciate it but some force inside me beckons me to do so. I drive my mouth downwards away from her neck, away from the temptation to mark her where everyone could see it. Lower where it is sure to be hidden the temptation becomes too much and before I know it the beginnings of what surely will be a much larger mark has formed.

Mine, Bella is mine…I only wish I could shout it to the world.


	25. Chapter 25

**Okay so this chapter when way differently than it was originally thought out in my mind but well it is written and wow not sure how you all will like but prolly not what you expected ENJOY**

Chapter 26

I pull Edward's car into the driveway along side what must be my mom and Phil's rental car…nervous waves crash through me and I have to grab a hold of the steering wheel in order to stop the trembles in my hands. My mother and Phil have been here since about noon alone with Edward, what if something when wrong? My deep breath sounds loud and shrill as I force myself out of the car and towards the house. The front door opens before I even get halfway up the walk, my mother's arms encircle me, and I force a smile.

"Oh wow, Bella I didn't know how much I missed you until I got here!" She exclaims into my ear causing me to wince.

"Yeah, missed you too, mom." I smooth down my clothes and start towards the house again. As I step through the door Phil's large arm drapes across my shoulder pulling me into a slight embrace.

"Hey, there. Hope you liked your birthday gift." He says with a half smile and a wink.

"Loved it, thanks." I reply tossing my book bad on the floor by the dinning room table.

"Bella, I hope you don't go cluttering up this house with your junk like that often, besides Edward could trip on that bag." My mother scolds me making me feel about 6.

"It's all right, Mrs. Dwyer," I hear Edward try to come to my rescue but nobody can have an opinion around my mother.

"No, no, Edward I raised here better than that…go put it in your room." Her voice is exactly as I remember it tight, tense, and commanding. I do what anyone in the situation would do; I grab my bag and hurry off towards my room feeling embarrassed.

I take a few minutes to collect myself; standing in front of my mirror, I fight to push all my emotions down and away. A slight rap on the door has be squeaking, "Come in." My breath is stolen from me until Phil's face peeks in through a small opening, exhaling in relief that it isn't my mother I relax.

"Don't mind your mother too much, Bella. You know how she gets sometimes." He says leaning against the once again closed door. "You know she was pleasant until she heard you pull up in the drive." He chuckles.

"Guess I bring out the best in her don't I?" I turn to look out my window avoiding his eyes.

"Just let her relax a bit, she's just worried that you are burdening Edward, becoming a nuisance and all."

"She has nothing to worry about; Edward and I get along fine."

"So you two have become…friends." He states more than asks but I feel obligated to reply.

"Yeah, I guess."

"Good." He clears his throat loudly and I turn away from the window to look at him, "Your mother and I want to take you two out to dinner tonight before we head back to the hotel, I'd suggest wearing something to uh, make your mother happy."

I frown at him, "I am not wearing a dress." I grumble thinking about the one and only dress I would have to wear to please my mother.

"A skirt?"

"Fine, but that is where I draw the line."

"Just don't come out wearing that and a hoodie, that last time you had that idea she about had a conniption fit." He says before smiling at me as he closes the door behind him.

I grab my jean skirt from the back of the closet and throw a blouse I know my mother loves on my bed along side it. The skirt is knee length and the blouse while not too girly does sport lace trim. I wonder where we are going and how long I will have to wear this outfit. I throw on the clothes and head back out to the front room with a fake smile on my face just to make my mother happy.

Edward's eyes are on me as I enter the room; my mother is fussing over how dusty the blinds are while Phil is seated next to Edward on the couch. I glance at Phil wondering if he has noticed that Edward's staring at me a little. He doesn't give any indication that he does.

"Bout time you got back out here, Bella. Let's all sit down and catch up." My mother smiles at me and joins Phil on the couch and I take a seat in the chair making sure to mind my knees and legs correctly not wanting to entice Edward any more than I am.

"So Bella, Edward doesn't appear to be malnourished or lacking but you need to make sure you dust every once in a while, and I think the shower has a bit of soap scum, not to mention…"

"You already made her a list, dear." Phil cuts her off and places his arm around her shoulder.

"I'll be sure to keep up on what ever you wrote down, mom." I fidget with my skirt, cross my legs and uncross them before settling on just keeping my knees together.

"Bella, is wonderful Mrs. Dwyer, you have a great daughter I couldn't ask for a better helper around here." Edward praises me and I feel my cheeks heat up at the compliment.

"I'm glad; Bella has always wanted an older brother." She smiles and I do my best to just smile back and not react to what Edward being my brother would mean—incest. Ewwww, he is so not like a brother.

The conversation stalls for the rest of the time we are at the house, the four of us just watched the news until Phil decided it was time to head out to the restaurant. Two cars I almost got excited but then my hopes crashed and burned I would be riding with my mother, to give Phil and Edward time to catch up.

My mother and me in Edward's car and Edward and Phil in the rental, oh crap I think as I turn onto the road following Phil.

"Edward being nice to you?" She asks but what she really wants to ask is something a little less innocent.

"Yeah, he is a nice guy, not a picky eater." I say concentrating on the road and not her expressions, they would only make me more on edge.

"Making any friends at school?"

"Uh, yeah tons everyone wants to be my friend here, you know being the new girl and all."

"Oh? Any boys ask you out?"

"Don't be silly, mom, you know I don't date I have to concentrate on my school work so I can get into college."

"That's my girl, you always did have a good head on your shoulders." my eyes focus on the road straight ahead never once giving away anything other than what I say. Will I be able to fool her?

She quits questioning me to stare out the window as we pass all the green.

"What's wrong, Bella? You have seemed tense all day." She asks just when I thought I was in the clear.

"Nothing…" I sigh trying to think of something, hell she knows me too well and my lies have to be showing, "I just got in a fight with one of the girls at school today." I mumble hoping she doesn't want details, so I offer a little more to please her curiosity. "She didn't like what I was wearing and called me a geek it hurt my feelings."

"Awww, honey don't let one girl spoil your day." She says believing my lies must be the darkened car.

* * *

epov

"You got enough room there, son?" Phil asks me startling my nerves already strung up as high as they can go, have been since they arrived.

"Yeah, sure…You know where were going?" I ask and I get a silent nod.

"That leg healing well?"

"They aren't gonna let me play again, just so you know. I mean nothing is official as of yet but it just comes down to the fact that I am replaceable. There is always another hot shot looking for their in." I rattle off and glance at the man beside me feeling as though I some how let him down. He is probably one of the reasons I wanted to play to begin with, him and my dad.

"You got any other plans yet?"

"Nawh, I mean besides Bella, you are the first person I have told. I don't think I have accepted it yet." I sigh, run my fingers through my hair, and sink into the seat behind me a little further.

He looks at me at the next stop, his eyes deep and hard riddled with meaning. As we pull away and speed back up, I feel like he is gonna say something though I have no idea what. Tell me what I should do with my life now that baseball isn't my one and only career.

"You know," He pauses to glance at me again and our eyes lock for a minuscule amount of time and he starts again, "You know she has only just turned 17."

I feel my eyes widen wondering what he is talking about exactly. My back tenses and I force my gaze to look over at the man beside me. Not breathing and definitely my heart must have stopped beating, cause inside this car it is dead quiet. The silence continues for what seems like an eternity.

"I see they way you look at her and how much more tense you got when she arrived home from school. Now, Edward, I'm not gonna tell you what to do, but she is my daughter. I only hope that you are as honorable of a young man as your father claims."

I say quiet still not sure what to say. Is he gonna tell her mother? This maybe sounding all well and good so far but the wrath of Bella's mother is another story.

"Just tell me the truth." He says with a sigh. "I don't want to act on this if I don't have to, but I'm too young to be a grandfather."

"No, no…I mean I haven't I would never." I stammer unable to get a thought through my pitiful brain.

"Good, let's keep it that way for the time being, like I said she is only 17."

Shit, is all I can think as we drive the rest of the way to the restaurant. The rest of the car ride remains eerily silent and I wonder what Phil is thinking. His reaction not what I expected at all and I wonder as to why he hasn't removed my genitals from my person like most fathers who find out a older guy is interested in his daughter.

We pull up into the parking lot and before we open our doors and get out, I have to know.

"Why?"

He chuckles, "Why do I trust you? Or why aren't I mad?"

"Maybe both I guess." I say sheepishly and shrug my shoulders turning to him.

"Edward you may not know this but I think of you like a little brother or maybe a son, hell I don't know anymore, but I watched you grow up, helped raise you for a little while there. Even though it is unorthodox, I can't say in my heart that you are a bad young man. In a couple years your two's ages won't matter, so for now I won't tell her mother. Just don't give me a reason to regret this." He squeezes my shoulder and I look up and realize we have an audience, both Bella and her mother are watching from the sidewalk by the restaurant.


	26. Chapter 26

**Okay here you all go sorry for not updating sooner yeah i know you all want another chapter asap and i will get to it hopefully sooner than later....Thanks for all the wonderful reviews always love reading each and everyone makes me want to continue writing this story cause sometimes i jsut don't want to write it...but other times i can't wait to write the next chapter i guess it is a love hate kinda story for me...next couple chapters should get interesting... EnjoY hope you like**

Chapter 26

My mother and me are waiting on the sidewalk in front of the restaurant for what seems like ever as we watch Phil and Edward sit in the car partaking in what looks like a serious conversation. I wish I were closer so that I could hear and my heart skips a beat when I hear the clack of the car doors opening. Dread washes over me as I try to school my facial expressions, not wanting to look too eager. Eager for what exactly, my mind swirls as I run through all the possible seating arrangements in my head, wondering if I might get to sit next to Edward or perhaps across from him. Oh, gosh which is worse being so close or directly in my line of sight, my eyes may not be able to focus much.

I find myself following my mother towards the front door of the small family diner with Phil and Edward bringing up the rear. As we are led to our table my heart flips a little as I see the small booth she leads us to. I quickly side into the cushy bench seat and am surprised to find Edward sliding in next to me while my mother and Phil take the opposite bench.

"Are you ready to order?" The waitress says breaking me out of my menu endued daze.

"Yeah, I think we all could think on our feet tonight." Phil replies and follows it up with his order giving us all a little more time with the menu.

Once I order my hamburger and fries, I am at a loss for words at the moment and it seems that everyone else is too. Silence isn't exactly comforting at the moment, it is more like a heavy pressure forcing my nerves to flare. I want to shout out to my mom and Phil yes Edward and I like each other and there is no way in hell that he is anything like my brother or uncle. I want to say that but I don't instead I pull my hands under the table and rest them on the bench seat looking for somewhere to ground myself so I don't run for the ladies room.

The second my leg starts to bounce under the table is the precise moment that Edwards warm and sweaty hand closes over mine. He pulls it up onto my knee pressing both our hands down steadying me with the slight pressure. It isn't only the pressure that eases my anxiety but also his touch. I know it sound trite, but where his touch has made me nervous in the past, now, in the deafening silence it eases my mind knowing he is here.

"So Bella, have you had a chance to see much of the area around here?" My mother asks suddenly surly that has to be a stupid conversation starter if I ever heard one.

"Uh…not much though my science class does have a field trip coming up soon to some local forest preserve."

"Be sure you don't wear a skirt that day, Bella, never know what kind of critters are out there in the wilderness." That comment gets a loud snort from me, skirt yeah right.

"I'm sure, Bella, knows what she is doing." Phil says his eyes not landing on me but rather Edward.

"I know that but I worry, she is all alone out here living on her own, for the most part. I'm not here to make sure she lives her life the right way, I worry."

"Don't worry about me. Next year I'll be 18 and officially an adult according to the government so no worries." I smile sweetly at her.

"So what did you do for your Birthday? She did tell you when it was didn't she?" Her eyes narrow in onto Edward and I feel him tense beside me.

"Yeah, I had to trick her but I managed to get it out of her. She said I couldn't give her anything so we just went out to eat instead."

"Oh?" My mother's gaze doesn't stray from Edward and the tone of her 'oh' makes me want to run interference ASAP.

"Is that a new shirt, mom?" I ask leaning forward to look at the hideous purple monstrosity my mother thinks is a shirt.

Her eyes leave Edward and she smiles at my interest in her clothing. "Yeah, I got it the past weekend at a little shop, isn't it cute and so feminine."

"Do you think you'll ever be back at the little store?" I smile and look down at the table for a second, "Cause I really like it was there anything like it in blue or green?"

The food arrives to save me from my big mouth; I surely can't be expected to talk with a full mouth so that is now my only goal in life is to keep it full until the check comes. A few mmm-hmms and 15 minutes of chewing later and that is just what is placed on our table, the check.

We pause out front of the restaurant the cooler air whipping a bit at my exposed legs, stupid skirt. We are gonna part ways here seeing as my mom and Phil have an early flight and I have school. I give my mother a hug and a kiss and she bids me goodbye and a stay out of trouble with a look that makes me want to cringe. She rushes off to the car claiming she is chilled by the night air. Edward heads over to his car to warm it up for us leaving me and Phil standing there in front of the restaurant.

"It was great to see you, Bella, we will be out again soon, hopefully with some good news." He smiles and I want to ask what good news but before I can his arms are around me in a tight hug.

His words are hushed as he speaks them at my ear, "You are my daughter and I want to see you happy, I want you to go to college, be careful, be safe, and I'll see you soon." With those final words, he waves goodbye and we both head to the drivers seats of our respective cars.

I let out my breath as I shut the door behind me and lean back into the seat just happy to be away from my mother and once again alone with Edward.

"You okay?" His voice sounds much closer than I expect and as my eyes open his face is also.

"Shouldn't I ask you that, I mean they are my parents I deal with them all the time."

"Not when you are trying not to let your mother know you have taken an interest in men instead of boys your own age." I laugh letting the tension roll out of me.

"I think her eyes are a little blind to that considering she referred to you as my 'brother'."

"You may have fooled her, but Phil is another story entirely." What? My eyes widen and the little backing up that I was doing comes to an abrupt halt.

"Do you seriously want me to wreak your car?" I shout look at him with a questioning gaze despite my angry tone.

"Sorry, I should have waited till we got home, but Phil confronted me…he didn't ask for details though I get the feeling he thinks I haven't acted on my attraction for you as much as I have. He isn't mad, Bella."

Oh my gosh, this is wrong! Phil should not know he just can't because that means sooner or later my mother will know and she will send me to a Christian college where they teach you to wait until you're married. Well, that might be all fine and dandy for some girls I just can't wait that long. I glance at Edward, before I ease my foot off the break and back out of the parking lot.

"Not another word about it until I am no longer driving." I murmur quietly adding under my breath, "Unless you want me to hurt your car."

"Bella, my car would be the last thing I would worry about if we wreaked."

I let the words hang in the air and the radio fills the silence between us and the more I drive the better I feel about Phil knowing. By the time we are home, I feel settled and sorta at peace with the whole idea. I get out of the car but for some reason Edward doesn't make a move to follow. I stand at the door to the house looking back at the car his dark form outlines in the darkness. I just stand there for a moment wondering what I did wrong? Did he fall asleep, and I not notice?

I hesitantly walk back towards the car and to passenger's door, I see him watching me yet I still proceed. I grip the door handle and pull the car door open and peer over the top of the frame.

"Aren't you coming in?" I ask staring down at him, but unable to see his expression from my angle despite the dome light illuminating the front seat.

"I'm sorry…" What is he sorry for my mind reels looking for the answer? I thought I was going to apologize.

"For what?"

"For not acting good enough, for letting Phil catch on to us, for anything and everything that I did or said wrong tonight. Hell, I don't know I just don't want you mad at me." His voice is sorta quiet towards the end almost dieing out before he finishes.

"I'm not mad. Come inside I've been dying to kiss you all night." I say pulling the door out away from the car.


	27. Chapter 27

**Okay so yeah writers block and life hit me and i never got around to updating sorry but you don't want to hear that anyway thanks for the reviews and hope you are still reading even if i am slow.... Enjoy**

Chapter 26

The cast comes off today and that means I get to skip class to drive Edward to his doctor's appointment. It has been almost a week since my parents left and in that time Edward hasn't attempted to go any further with me in the sex department even though it is more than obvious that he wants to, I mean I literally can feel that he wants more. I am too much of a chicken still to tell him anything besides that I want to kiss him—it would be too weird.

My coffee is a bit too hot to drink down quickly even with the small ice cube floating on the top, didn't successfully cool things off in the slightest. Edwards physical therapy will be starting also now that his cast is finally gonna be gone, though I expect he will have to take it easy, muscles probably won't work right or something. I have no clue when it comes to doctor stuff, but I'm sure he will fill me in if I need to help him do anything.

"Ready to go?" He asks smiling at me from the far side of the front room.

"If you want I could just cut the cast off with a kitchen knife." I take a final sip of my coffee and head towards the door.

"Naw, Bella I've seen you use those knives, your precision sucks." We both laugh as we head out into the chilly morning air.

"Are you excited to see your leg? Well, I mean I know you see it everyday but you know the actual skin, any moles or freckles you have, oh or maybe you have scars you'd like to see again."

"I'm not sure I missed those particular…uh parts but it will be nice to have the extra weight removed, I'm tired of dragging it around."

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­

"Phone's ringing." I say in a sing-song voice from the kitchen where I am popping dinner into the oven.

"Yeah, I know I can here it, I just can't seem to find the damn thing." Grumpy, Edward has been that way since we left the doctor's office, he was none too thrilled to have to wear a brace and still use his crutches. At least he can take the brace off when he sleeps and doesn't have to garbage bag his leg to keep it from getting wet.

"Hello?" I hear him say into the phone though he had to gimp back to his room to get the other cordless from the charger.

"Bella!" He yells from his room, "Phone!"

I head back to his room, the place I hadn't been since that one morning and step inside. Edward is sprawled across his bed with the phone outstretched in his hand looking a tad bit exhausted from his frantic phone search.

"Who is it?" I ask quietly wondering if his finger is over he speaker.

"Your mother." He whispers and I tentatively approach feeling more like he is handing me a scorpion rather than a phone with my mother on the other end.

"Hi, mom." I throw my cheery voice into the phone, quickly exit Edward's bedroom, and enter mine closing the door behind me.

"Hi, honey…I was just calling to see how things were going. Seeing you reminded me of how much I love being a mom and well I just want to let you know that we will all be together again soon."

"What do you mean?" Oh crap, I can't leave here…not now.

"Don't worry I don't even know what all is going on yet as it is. How is Edward doing? He told us that he would be going back to the doctor."

"Uh…yeah he got his cast off, everything seems to be going right along for him, he'll be standing on his own two feet again in no time." I smile imagining Edward standing up straight without his crutches and almost want to close my eyes and get lost in my dream.

"That is just wonderful news, Bella." She exclaims sounding a bit too happy for Edward.

"Yeah." I agree and change the subject to something where I can just listen while she rattles on.

The conversation while extremely one-sided only last another 15 minutes before my mother lets my ear go. I head out to the kitchen absently to check on dinner, silently noting that Edward is still in his room, probably still resting. I pull out my lasagna and place it on the counter to cool a bit. I might as well go wake him up, cause I didn't cook this meal just so it can get cold instead of being eaten. Oh my, that sounds like something my mother would say.

His door is slightly ajar, just as I probably left it when I got the phone, but the second my hand starts to push it open I realize two things. One, I should have knocked and two, I should have kept my mouth shut cause that squeak gave away my presence. My own bedroom door slamming echoes the slam of his door as I run and hide.

It's two minutes of me sitting on my bed freaking out about the fact that I saw Edward not so dressed and he saw me seeing him which just improved my view but embarrassed me that much more, for what I thought was a good view of his rear shortly became a shocking view of his front. I roll my eyes at my own thoughts, I can't even think of the name of it in my head, his front…naked, nude, bare. Why was he even naked in the middle of the evening? Wait I don't even want to know.

"Bella?" Edward's voice softly follows a gentle rap at my door. I can't bring myself to say anything as the image of a naked Edward floats into my mind.

"Bella, please come out, the lasagna smells wonderful…" I watch as the door knob slowly turns and I tense on my bed watching.

I don't move, I don't think I can move. He doesn't open the door far, just enough for his head to peek around the corner. The green of his eyes holds an almost pleading look, one that forces me to close my eyes instead of enduring the gaze.

"Can I come in?" His voice is softer yet and without hesitation, I nod my head while forcing my eyes to open though my line of sight is directed at the floor. I think my mind may just pretend to have x-ray vision and the Edward in front of me won't be fully clothed.

The bed moves slightly signaling that he is in fact sitting on my bed and in my room, two places I told him not to be, but I did agree that he could enter.

"Look at me." and I do but only his face.

"What do you see?" he asks obviously wanting me to say something besides pointing out the obvious but that is where I start.

"I see you, I see someone I care about, I see…" I pause as my brain starts to present me with things I could see if I just removed this or that. I clear my throat and look away.

"I'm sorry you walked in on me while I was changing…I don't want this to be awkward for you…I mean I know you've never seen, I mean…"

"I'll remember to knock next time." I mumble still not looking at him and blushing what I can only presume is a deep red.

"Good, I'll be sure to try and remember that as well, though I wouldn't be too upset if I happened to forget and get to see what you saw." His voice is full of amusement and I can't resist looking at him especially with such a good remark popping up in my head.

"To see what I saw you only have to look in the mirror." I laugh.

"You know what I meant and what I want to see." He says, kisses me on the cheek, and stands up, "Think you can manage to eat dinner with me with out imagining me naked."

"Shut up, I would never."


	28. Chapter 28

**Okay so here you all go hope you like and don't worry i am working on the next chapter i won't leave you hanging for long ENJOY :)**

Chapter 27

I thought it would be awkward, but somehow it was entirely the opposite. His humor about the whole situation really made me feel better and concentrating on eating also helped. I don't know what I would be doing if I never came to live here, it scares me to think about it, it makes me realize that what I was doing before was just living for my mother's rules, complying with her asinine wishes. Freedom from her has brought me so much I never even dreamed I would get to experience until I went away to college.

I almost feel comfortable enough around Edward now to let my guard down, but there is still the aura about him that stills me. It is hard to explain, I guess it stems from not totally believing that he wants me—he could have anyone without trying. It makes me wonder if he only wants me cause I'm convenient. I have to stop thinking like this, I glance at the man beside me, my homework not holding my interest, I watch his eyes chase the words of his book. It takes him a good 10 minutes to look up and our eyes brush against each other's—end result we both look away back to our tasks. Concentrating has never been more difficult, since I started doing my homework out here in the living room with Edward. He doesn't do my homework he usually reads a book.

Everything has been back to normal at school with the two sets of my friends, one being the girls who talk my ear off and two my lunchroom friends including Jacob who has gotten over the rejection I dealt him over the date. This week is drawing to a close and I almost fear the weekend we are gonna hang out with his buddies and not here either. A party of sorts, which has me freaking out a bit, mostly because everyone will no doubt be older than me not to mention I won't know anyone there except Edward, Emmett, and Jasper. It is on Saturday night a little north of here at Emmett's house, I haven't told Edward how I feel, cause basically that would make me feel stupid. He has to know I haven't been to many parties let alone a party where I am going as someone's new girlfriend. He did make that point clear; he doesn't want to hide our relationship from his friends.

Fear that is my only answer about that. So many questions plague my brain that I can't even determine how or what I should ask if I have the chance. Our eyes meet again and this time his book is folded and the small smile on his face lets me know he has caught me staring at him for the last time—tonight that is.

"Bella, Have you even finished any of your assignments?" I look down at my notebook, the few numbers and letters signify that I am indeed working on math homework, but the large number one next to the problem also gives away my lack of focus.

"Uhhh, no," I all but whisper, and feel like a scolded child as of now.

"Didn't think so…do I even want to know why you keep staring at me tonight usually you are able to complete some of your homework in between your bouts of daydreams." He smiles and the laughter threatens to escape from his voice.

"It's nothing, really." I mumble knowing full well he doesn't believe me, and the look on his face confirms it.

I want to crumble from that look so I look down once again at my almost blank homework page wondering if I have any hope of getting him to drop it. Not likely, anyway what am I afraid of he already knows most of my insecurities and most of them directly affect our relationship. I trace the number 5 with my eyes several times before I find it in me to look at him again, he is waiting still being patient with me. The truth will set you free, I'm just not quite sure I want said freedom.

"Okay, since I know I'll eventually cave…" I hedge, "I should just let you know now instead of in the most inopportune time plausible because that is just how my luck works."

The smile irks me, like he is humoring me like a small child, I push those thoughts away and try to focus on what exactly I am going to tell him.

"I'm having an internal anxiety attack over this little party we are going to." I twist my fingers in front of me, "I know you told me not to worry but I don't know how to act at a party let alone one with your friends. I won't know anyone, I probably don't have anything in common with your friends. How am I gonna get through a whole night with them and not cling to you like a traumatized child?"

"Calm, down." Oh, crap I think I got a little loud there at the end, might have yelled a bit, "First of all, no one is going to criticize you. Secondly, you got along fine with Jasper and Emmett when they were over here. Third, no one, especially me will care if you cling to me, Hell, if it makes you feel better you could cling to me now." He laughs and I expect him to tick off a fourth item on his fingers but he doesn't.

"But…" I say with not a clue as to what exactly I am butting, yet the word slips off my tongue.

"No, you will be fine, believe me when I tell you nothing wrong will happen. Just be yourself and relax…now you better finish your homework."

With a heavy sigh, I do just that with much effort that is I concentrate on my math homework instead of the upcoming party or the insanely gorgeous man in front of me.

The music isn't loud, the people aren't hanging out windows and shouting…none of the classic party movie stuff is going on at a first glance, at least from where I sit in the car. My hand falters just a bit as I clutch the handle to get out; Edward drove for the first time despite doctor's orders not to. I just couldn't talk him out of that, though the grimace on his face when he had to break quickly probably foretells the likelihood of me driving us home.

"You'll be fine." He says smiling at me before we get out of the car. The night air is chilly making me glad I have a warm sweater on, but wishing silently that I had worn a large hoodie so I could hide inside it.

I slide out of the car and join Edward and we start up to the larger than I am use to house. Edward doesn't knock like I expect but instead just pushes the door open to reveal a large group of people, all of whom instantly make me feel about an inch tall.

"Eddie's here." I hear someone yell and I feel my brow wrinkle at the sound of the nickname, it doesn't quite fit the man beside me as far as I'm concerned.

I shut the large door behind me and stand there feeling anything but comfortable with being here, of the 20 people in front of me I don't even see the two friends of Edward's that I do know—just my luck.

"And this is Bella." I hear Edward introduce me and I crank my eyes back to the people before us and try to smile. Tonight is going to be difficult, I want to groan, but instead I utter a small hello and force the smile to remain.

"Shy one, huh?" I hear one of the people ask and I want to run away. I knew this was a bad idea, I am not shy I just don't know what to do at parties, let alone a 20-somethings' party. I feel my eyes narrow, but I missed Edward's response to the question as I was quietly fuming.

I take a deep breath and try to relax like Edward told me, his friends aren't that big of a deal. Yeah, right, what if they tell him I'm not good enough and that he is wasting his time? I feel Edward's arm on my shoulder and I turn and look at him and in the process I realize the small welcoming party had left us alone.

"Are you okay? Jamie didn't mean a thing by that comment, okay?"

"What?" I ask stupidly, I know what he meant but I could hardly stop my mouth from speaking the word. "Nevermind, I heard you, I mean sorry I didn't…"

"C'mon lets get something to drink?" I freeze, drink, did he mean drink, like in alcohol? I mean not that I wouldn't, but if we have to drive home later then I think that it would be better if I didn't. "What now?" He asks and a hint of what I could tell is annoyance breaks through. Can I blame him if he is annoyed? Not really…

I just look at him, not wanting to voice any of the thoughts in my head let alone explain any of it this very second. "Maybe I should just go home, one of your friends can drive you home I'm sure." I stare at my feet, my throat feels thick, and I could almost swear everyone in the room is staring at us discretely.

"Come with me." He says grabbing my hand and head towards a large staircase leading downstairs, which he starts down without so much as a care about his leg and what all this activity might be doing to him. Though I don't know the exact details of his limitations he must be pushing them, right? driving? stairs? What next skydiving?

He leads me down a small hall at the bottom of the stairs; the walls hold nothing to signify where we are or any personality of who lives here. Four doors down, Edward opens a door leading to a room, a small cozy room featuring a twin bed and a small tv on a stand. The room is painted a murky blue giving it a cave like feel seeing as the only lighting comes from a floor lamp next to the bed.

Edward leads me to the bed where we take a seat and I turn towards him slightly to ask where the hell we are, but before my mouth even opens his finger presses firmly against my lips silencing me.

"Not a word, yet. I don't want to hear you say you should have stayed home or that you should leave. I want you here and my friends want to meet you." He runs his hands through his hair briefly pausing as to gather his thoughts, as if he didn't already make me feel bad already, his tone and words are doing nothing but making me want to leave that much more.

"Let me start over…" another pause though his voice seems calmer now, "I don't want to be an ass, Bella, but do you have to make an issue about everything? Don't answer that, ummm, What I am trying to say is… I just want to have a good time tonight with you. I want my friends to know that I have found such a wonderful girl, I just want to show you off a little, is that so wrong?"

"I guess not." I only just whisper.

"You don't have to drink, I don't have to drink, but I want you to know that we can stay here in this room, if we do…or you don't feel like driving home, later. Everyone is always welcome to stay at Emmett's house, he has more rooms than he knows what to do with." He smiles at me for the first time since we came down here, making me relax a wee bit.

I am still apprehensive about the whole thing.

"Edward!" I hear a feminine voice yell, "You better not be doing anything nasty with her or I'll skin you alive."

Before I even have time to ask who she is and what on earth she could want I short dark haired girl storms into the room like she is on a mission, intent and focused on what exactly I wouldn't know. Her zeroed in eyes are on Edward for a short millisecond before softening as they settle on me. Who is this girl and what is she to Edward? Could she possibly be an ex-girlfriend or something?

"Hi! I'm Alice, I'm sure Edward has told you nothing about me, so I should tell you right away that I am Jasper's girlfriend. I know you met Jasper cause he told me about you." She stands there confident and amazingly straightforward rattling off information like she is on the evening news and Edward and I are the top story. I get lost in the sound of her voice as she continues, no wonder Jasper likes her, there is something relaxing about her jubilant nature, but at the same time I almost wish I knew where the off button is.

"Alice." Edward says it in such a way that has her glaring at him but her mouth and the voice that captured my attention stopped at almost a split second.

"Nice to meet you, Alice." I say smiling at her, "I'm Bella."

"Great, now come with me. We will let Edward gimp his way up the stairs at his own pace, in the mean time, I'll show you where everything is.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

"And this is the kitchen," Alice about bounces as she drags me over to the bar area where several bottles and an ice bucket are strewn about haphazardly. "Hmmmmm? What should I make you to drink?" She says tapping her chin while smirking devilishly at me.

She pauses looking at me and then around at the other occupants of the room. Drink…crap I'm not about to tell her no I don't want anything to drink. She may like me right now but I have barely said two words to her throughout her long tour of the entire house culminating with the bar.

"I know just the thing." She says grabbing a large glass from behind the bar. "You like ice? Doesn't matter stuffs pretty cold anyway." The clunk clunk of the ice has my eyes watching what all she is putting into my cup. A large bottle of red stuff is the first thing she adds to my large glass followed by a large bottle of blue stuff. Wow, it sure look pretty, I am surprised when she fills the rest up with 7up instead of alcohol. She winks at me before fixing herself an identical drink but she adds vodka to hers instead of just 7up.

"Thanks, Alice." I say as I reach to pick up the drink that she made me, wondering if those red and blue bottles contain any alcohol, but I push it aside and take a sip. Sure doesn't taste like alcohol.

"No problem, just designate me your personal bartender for the night and try to relax a bit." She picks up her drink with a smile, "C'mon lets go find Emmett he is always good for a laugh or two, plus I'm sure my other half is close by his moronic friend." He giggles and I follow along behind her taking it all in.

No one is acting crazy, no one is yelling or fighting, I can do this. Parties obviously aren't all like the crazy ones portrayed on tv sitcoms or movies. 'Relax, Bella' isn't that what everyone tells me, nothing is gonna go wrong. We make our way into a game room of sorts, well the room where the pool table and music is coming from that is...thus most of the party guest are here too.

Alice pauses briefly in the doorway taking her time scanning the room, I see Edward leaning against a wall talking with a few people that I don't know. Across the room from him, I see Emmett, well I hear him first, it seems to be some kind of game but from this vantage point the only thing I see is a slight crowding around what I can barely make out as Emmett's large body.

"Oh yeah, I win again!" I hear Emmett shout as the crowd breaks up giving us a better view of him and his competitor.

"What were they doing?" I ask Alice quietly as I gawk at the scene before me.

"Oh, they were prolly just racing to see who could drink the most, idiots." She says shaking her head slightly.

I wonder if they would have a different winner if they discounted the amount on each of the contestants' shirts and the floor beneath their feet. Probably not, can't see them getting technical during a party game.

"Come on, let's go laugh at the mess they made." I shrug and follow her over to the two guys, their shirts wet and clinging to the skin beneath catches my eye, but the overwhelming smell of beer makes me want to detach my nose from my face.

"Hey, when did you get here, Bella?" Emmett smiles reaching for a towel to pat at his damp clingy shirt and neck.

"Little bit ago, I guess, didn't know you liked to douse yourself in beer at parties, Em." I laugh at the silly smirk he throws at me.

"Yeah, well, there is quite a bit you don't know about me, little girl."

"I'm sure I already know too much as it is." I reply and Alice grins at our exchange. Probably the most she has heard me talk all evening, I'm comfortable around Emmett, he has been over to the house the most between him and Jasper and after that evil birthday prank I've kinda gotten use to his weird sense of humor.

"Come on, Bella, let mister champion here go change. I'm sure he'll want to impress Rosalie with something more than ode de Bud light." Alice laughs and I follow her away from the beer mess.

We don't get too far Jasper seems to appear out of nowhere and pulls Alice into a tight embrace. Okay, now I feel a wee bit awkward so I just keep walking letting them have their moment. Where to now, since my guide to all things that are parties is currently lip-locking with her man, my eyes roam over the people around me and I almost stop breathing when I see Edward. He is still where he was when we came in, leaning against the wall, his bad leg outstretched not bearing any weight, and he is totally focused on the people he is talking to.

Decisions, decisions, do I act like the confident girl I know I can be and walk up to him and put my arm around him or do I veer off and go sneak away from the crowd like the scared high school girl that I am. This could be the night it all blows up, if I don't act now who is to blame him when he realizes I'm not worth it.

I take a sip of my drink and allow my feet to carry me towards the man I came with, nerves be damned, I will not let all those older people intimidate me. Okay, so maybe that isn't entirely true but I won't let them stop me from approaching him. My confidence wears out just as I get my arm around his middle, his warm smile gives me just enough encouragement to finish greeting him.

"Hey, missed you." I murmur and gently kiss his chin before leaning against the wall beside him.

"Have fun with Alice?" He asks as his arm come around my shoulder.

"Yeah, how could I not."

"What ya drinking there?" He says nodding at my half-gone drink.

"Don't know Alice made it for me." I say and that is when I realize he has a beer in his over hand. Memories of him being drunk float through my head but I ignore them and just lean against him as he introduces me to the people around us. I get lost in the sea of faces and names, but manage to relax and join in on the conversation.

"Come on, let's get another drink." Edward says abruptly and clutches my hand leading me out of the noisy room.

Edward leans over with his head in the fridge, "You want a beer or want me to mix you up another fancy drink?"

"Beer tastes bad, right?" I ask scrunching up my nose a bit.

"Uh, I take that as a no for the beer," the smack of the fridge door draws my attention for a second and I seem to totally miss what he says next.

"Huh?" I look up at Edward a little confused and smile at my embarrassment.

"I asked if you wanted alcohol in your drink this time or if you wanted something like what Alice made you?"

I frown at him, "How'd you know?"

"Don't take it personally, Alice is a middle school teacher, she isn't willingly going to hand over alcohol to a minor. So, come on and tell me what you want into your drink." We walk up to the bar and I lean against the counter, expecting him to walk around to the other side like Alice did earlier, but he doesn't.

His left hand is the first indication that I get that he is behind me, the bottle of beer being placed on the counter is the next, and I really didn't need any more clues but his chest pressing against my back sure makes an obvious one. I feel his warm breath against my neck and a soft kiss just behind my ear has me clenching my hands on the edge of the counter.

"You may be a virgin…" He whispers soft and an octave lower than usual. His tongue snakes along the shell of my ear, "but I'm willing to make you something other than a virgin cocktail to drink…my morals aren't as steadfast as some." His mouth closes over the tip of my earlobe and his teeth give it a little tug as he pulls away. His gaze stays locked on mine as he slowly makes his way to the other side of the bar.

"What shall I make you?" He asks leaning across the bar so close that I can smell the beer on his breath and feel the heat emanate from his moist mouth.

My brain is so not working, what was the question? I wonder as I watch him across from me.

"Bella?"

"Ummm, surprise me?" I say and am greeted with an evil looking smirk.

"Thought you hated surprises?" He says but starts looking through the bottles behind the bar.

"Usually do…but I'm kinda out of my element here." I say waving my hand at the bar.

"Gotcha…trust me then huh?" The familiar blue stuff and orange juice are the only things I recognize going into my drink, making me a little worried but I ignore it.

"Of course, how could I not?" I smile and twirl his beer around on the counter as he finishes off filling my glass.

I hesitantly reach towards the glass and bring it to my lips and am surprised to have it taste good though I can taste the bitterness of the alcohol behind the fruity flavor.

"Like it?" He asks grabbing his beer from the counter and taking a sip.

"Mmmm-hmmmm it's fruity." I take another sip and lick my lips to get the stickiness off them.

"Great."

**Okay yeah i know i stopped writing at a werid spot but i thought i should post instead of letting it sit around while i figure out what happens next.... hope you Enjoyed Reading and i am working on the next chapter**


	30. Chapter 30

**Okay so i suck at updating regularly sorry been sick and stuff so here you go sorry if i keep cliffhanging you all but if you want updates it just works out like that sometimes cause i have to think about what happens next....sorry if you hate it, but EnJOY anyway :-)**

Chapter 30

I follow Edward back towards all the people, not that their aren't a few wondering around the rest of the house, but the majority are in the game room. Nothing much has changed in the few minutes since we left, except I see that Emmett has managed to get something on his shirt again because he so gracefully is wondering around without one on. Edward doesn't seem to pause to make a decision about where to go, almost like he has a plan in his head about what we are gonna do next. He B-lines it for a cluster of stools along side the pool table, probably so he can have a seat his leg must be killing him.

I follow along beside him and don't think much of it as he pulls me against him after taking a seat on a stool. My body now snugly between his knees and I am instantly thankful that the seat of the stool is large cause instead of resting fully against Edward the stool actually gives me a few inches of breathing room or else I don't know what I would think. I set my drink down on the small counter beside us, and try to get myself under control.

Things start to stream through my brain as my body struggles to figure it all out without making a fool out of myself. Where do I put my hands? On his legs? I can't just hold them straight out in front of me, can I? This feels weird I can feel the warmth from his legs against my sides and just that I am here between a man's legs is beyond freaky. Okay, Bella, relax.

"Hey, Edward, Bella." Jasper's quiet yet suave voice causes me to jump back a little into Edward. "Easy, Bella, I'm not gonna bite you." His laugh is accompanied by a little giggle that could only belong to Alice.

"I see you found your man, sorry bout earlier I got a little distracted." Alice explains hopping up onto the stool beside me. Something about Alice that just relaxes me, must be a girl thing since she is the only friend of Edward's that I've met that is a girl.

"Ouuu, is that your drink, Bella?" Alice asks as I take a sip of my drink, obvious isn't an ugly word I guess. "Let me taste!" She exclaims reaching towards the drink before I even have a chance to answer her. "Yum, is this what Eddie-boy made for you? Here have a sip of mine it is only fair."

I hesitate slightly before I grab her drink glass and bring it to my lips. It is good, better tasting than the one Edward made me in fact. "This is good." I say taking another sip.

"Good cause I think we should trade…I don't believe I could part with this now that I've had a taste." She says smiling broadly.

After a little while Edward and Jasper leave me and Alice alone while they play pool which gives me a decent view of his rear.

"Could you be any more obvious?" Alice asks shocking me that she would notice that I was looking.

"Umm." I fumble suddenly at a loss of what to say.

"Don't be embarrassed, Bella. I wasn't poking fun, just want to figure out why you have him wound so tight after such a short amount of time."

"What do you mean?" I ask turning away from the scene before me.

"It's not everyday Edward has a girlfriend you know, he doesn't usually date per se. It is just like him too, to pick someone off limits so to speak…"

"Should I be worried?" I ask totally not believe that I am even asking his friend that.

"Course not, unless he has given you reason to. He hasn't, has he? Of course not, right?"

"No, he's been the perfect gentleman…well, actions wise, couldn't say that about his language though." I feel my cheeks redden as I admit that.

"Well, good."

"I've heard my name a few times from over here." Edward says twists off the top of another bottle of beer. When did he go get that one? I've seen him have three now…but I wouldn't have noticed he got a new one if he didn't open it in front of me.

"Just making sure you're treating Bella like you oughta." Alice smirks at him, "I wouldn't want to have to hurt you or anything." She gives him a firm pinch on the arm for emphasis.

"Ouch, Alice." I can't help it a girly giggle erupts from my mouth and just as fast my hands try to hold them in causing me to snort.

"What you all do to her? Is there a switch or something?" Emmett laugh, "Maybe back here on her neck." Where did Emmett come from?

"Emmett." I hear Edward sort of growl out and the next thing I know Edwards warm arms are around me.

"I was just playin' Edward, no need to get all territorial." Emmett says sounding a little disheartened but when I look at him he is still all smiles.

"Sorry," I hear Edward mumble, yet he makes no move to release me from his embrace.

As the party starts to quiet down Edward shows me how to play pool, more like he just wanted to hold me close but it is all just semantics really. His chest pressed against my back like I have seen countless times on tv sitcoms almost makes me want to crack up laughing.

"Okay, I am gonna make this shot on my own, no helping." I say taking the pool stick and lining up for the shot. The clack of the ball against the orange ball is almost nonexistent but the ball goes into the pocket, nonetheless. "I did it."

"Great, you are a fast learner; much to my dismay…I would rather have to give you tons of lessons." He says taking the stick from me and placing in on the pool table.

"I'm sure you know other things to teach me." Crap, that is not an invitation for sex, I hope he gets that.

"I'm sure there is, but not tonight…Come on, I'm beat." We start towards the other part of the house, it is now almost empty and quiet. "Oh, hey, let me go talk to Emmett for a second, okay, babe."

"Okay," I manage to say as I smile at the fact he called me babe. A term of endearment, geesh, give me a break, I am insane getting crazy over that.

I lean back against the wall of the hall as I watch Edward round the corner leading into the kitchen. Tonight had been better than I expected, still I have worries of what everyone thought, not everyone can be as nice as Alice.

"So you're the jailbait Edward is messin' with, huh?" I hear an icily pretty voice from behind me. I turn to see who and turn to see a tall blonde who pretty much looks like a knock off of a playboy bunny. "You don't look like much to fuss over."

Her index finger comes in under my chin her long glossy red nail digs into my skin slightly forcing my chin up and my eyes to hers. Her eyes seem cold and calculating and I wonder who she is. I don't want to meet her gaze, but fear of what might happen if she doesn't get what she wants forces me to.

"I'm only gonna say this once little girl, things can get very ugly for Edward if what you two are doing goes south. Watch your step, Edward is my friend and I don't want to see him hurt."

With that, she walks away and leaves me standing there with many more doubts than I had moments ago. All my will power to stay strong is gone as I sink to the floor and pull my knees to my chest.


	31. Chapter 31

**sorry for the wait i really didn't mean to wait so long to update... anyway thank you all for the reviews i love getting them and knowing what you all think.... ENJJOY :)**

Chapter 31

"Okay, Bella…" I hear Edward's voice call my name seconds before he curses and he pulls me close to him. The smell of beer is strong on his breath, but despite that minor detail, he soothes me. His arms wrap around me just as the tears start to silently trickle down my checks and his voice though I can't concentrate on the words somehow eases my mental struggles.

As the tears run their course I begin to feel better and start to focus on what Edward is saying, his concern though a little slurred makes me happy. I pull myself away and look at him, "I'm fine, thanks." I mumble through sniffles.

"Tell me, what did she say?" He asks and I tense at the fact that he knows a 'she' said something. Does he know who it is? "Come, on, Bella, everyone else is either in a room for the night or has left, so tell me what Rosalie said to upset you."

"The blonde?" I ask stupidly wondering for a second if he has his information correct.

"Yeah, the blonde, Emmett's girlfriend, and a major bitch even at her best." He seethes through clenched teeth.

"She just said some hurtful things about you and me." I mutter not really wanting to hash out every detail about the conversation. "It doesn't matter."

"It sure as hell does matter, if you don't tell me I will make her spit it out. I would rather hear it from you."

"Fine, she called me jailbait," I wince at the tone of my own voice, "said she didn't know what the fuss was about and that if anything happens you could get in trouble, it was like she was threatening me."

"Shit, Emmett told me to talk to her earlier face to face, but I never got around to it. She isn't happy that I found someone, not to mention you don't fit her cookie cutter picture perfect image of what my girlfriend should be. What ever she says remind yourself she is a bitch and what she says doesn't matter."

"Okay," I say taking a deep breath.

"Come, on, I am tired…think you are up to sleeping with me?" He asks extending her hand to me to help me up off the ground.

I give him a questioning look, as if accepting his hand would give him permission to have sex with me.

"Sleep, Bella, just sleep, mind you we will be in the same bed, but I promise to be a complete gentleman," I accept his hand and he pulls me up, "Alice, is still here I wouldn't want to upset the little sprite would I?"

I hesitantly follow him down into the basement once again apprehension floats over me as we near the door to the bedroom. In a bed with Edward, I look down at what I am wearing and wonder how on earth I am going to be comfortable in what I am wearing. Impossible, but there is no way I am climbing into a bed without clothes no matter how much of a gentleman Edward proclaims to be. I just can't do it.

Inside the door I push the door shut and the click of the latch settles in my brain like that of us stepping towards something I am not ready for. Am I? One bed, two people, and no pajamas. I find myself locked in place only inches from the door just watching Edward, who seems to think that his clothes need to come off. Oh, my, the view is something else entirely but where does that leave my current state of dress, ineffectually overdressed?

Bare chest and feet are before my eyes as I zone in on the button of his jeans, which just so happens to be where his fingers are poised ready to unclasp that very button. I lick my lips nervously as I watch the button first and then the zipper come undone and his eyes seek out mine as he pulls his pants from his hips. I break that eye contact hesitantly wondering what is left in the way of clothes, plaid dark blue boxers, relief crashes into me, I have seen him in just that before.

"Are you gonna sleep in that?" He motions to my attire I so desperately want out of but lack the courage to sleep in just my under garments.

"Uh…"

He smirks at me half his mouth pulling a little higher than the other side, "Here," He throws his t-shirt at me and then just stands there looking at me expectantly. Does he want me to undress in front of him?

I clear my throat, "Ummmm, you said gentleman if I heard you correctly." I make a small circle with my index finger indicating he should turn around.

He obediently turns giving me a clear view of his muscular back. I hesitate for a moment if only to give myself the view. My clothes come off easily and I quickly pull Edward's shirt over my head not wanting to be caught with only my underwear on. I quickly fold my clothes before I give him the all clears notice that he can turn around.

"Do you want to get in first?" He asks after looking at me for too long of a moment.

"Uh, sure, " I reply not entirely sure how this is going to work. I've never thought about sleeping with someone, well, that is not entirely true but in my head it always involved other things.

I climb into the twin-sized bed; the sheets are soft and slightly chilled as I slide beneath the covers. The bed dips when Edward joins me, he doesn't hesitate or falter in anyway as he slides in beside me. He leans over and flips the bedside lamp off so smoothly you wouldn't even think he had been drinking, maybe he didn't drink as much as I thought. His confidence is back as he pulls me closer to him and his arms wrap around my smaller frame.

"Is this okay?" He asks after a few minutes of me lying a bit tense in his arms. Sure, he can tell I am not entirely comfortable like this.

"Um, yeah, just give me a few minutes to relax." I murmur trying to will myself to relax, while him being this close feels great it is also a reminder to me of where this night may eventually take us in the not so distant future.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

A loud knock on the door has me jerking awake, pain slides through the back of my head and the harsh curse behind me keys me into what or should I say who my head connected with.

"Time to get up!" Emmett's booming voice slides through the wooden door with ease and it is commanding me to do the very thing I would rather not at the moment.

"Give us a minute, Em." Edward grouches back at him and I just flop back onto my back waiting for the slight throbbing of my head to cease.

Okay, now what do I say? What do I do? I just slept in bed with a guy, what usually happens in books, umm… no situations come to mind. Movies….TV…I am drawing a blank. I peek at him out of the corner of my eye, his eyes are still closed, and he appears to be sleeping, though I know better. What next? I search for something to say to make this less awkward. Sure, he probably has done this before but he sure as hell knows I haven't. The least he could do is make this easier for me to digest, he is the one who sorta coerced me into it.

"Where did I hit you?" I ask as Edward finally, he opens his eyes.

"Just my chin, no worries." He says with a deadpan voice.

"Why is Emmett waking us up?" I mumble just before a yawn over takes my speaking abilities.

"He just wants us to get up cause he is. Rose likes to wake up early and usually forces his ass to get up too. Should be happy it is relatively late, we actually got a good 5 hours of sleep."


	32. Chapter 32

**Okay so this chapter took me forever to write and sorry but it is not any longer than any other of the chapaters so ENJOY hope you like Thanks for all the reviews and other such things**

Chapter 32

We left Emmett's house quickly only after one cup of coffee and then we were on our way home, I drove. It was interesting to see Rosalie when Edward was by my side, she must reign in her bitchiness around him cause she didn't say one word to me. Okay, so sharing a bed with Edward not exactly as scary as I made it out to be, once I relaxed that is. He didn't try anything or say a word that would make me feel uncomfortable. Oh, but now I want to sleep in the same bed as him again, it has to be my hormones talking cause rationally I would never consider opposite gender sleeping arrangements. Something very similar to my mother's voice bellows in my head that I have been corrupted. I wish I had a mute button for that voice, because though I have always tried to honor her I never escaped the fact that I am being treated different than the average teenager.

What parent wants their child to be part of the socially inept group? Sheltered and ignorant about what the average person my age does, I could barely function at the party last night not to mention the strange things that flitter through my head when my thoughts turn towards potential time alone with Edward. Sometimes my mother's words have me feeling ashamed to want a more physical relationship with Edward or any person of a male persuasion. It is not the 19th century; I do not need to be a prude, let alone a virtuous one.

I look down at the large head of hair resting on my leg, he fell asleep about 20 minutes ago while I re-watched that scary movie about the aliens. I kinda missed most of it considering Edward had other plans that night. I run my fingers through his hair gently careful not to wake him up, I wonder if this couch is really comfortable, I don't think I had complaints when I fell asleep on it. He wanted me to lay down with him, but for some reason I refused. The boundaries are crumbling and I don't know if I want them to stay up, what is stopping me? My mother certainly can't she is halfway across the country, Phil knows something but he didn't make any attempts to stop us.

Maybe it is a sign that I should throw caution to the wind and just let nature take its course so to speak. Maybe not drop all my self-proposed boundaries but just try not to police my every action. It could work, right?

I just don't want to do something wrong, would he laugh at me if I did? Not in a bad way I don't think, but somehow I just don't want to screw anything up. Why can't I just trust him? Well, I do trust him…then what exactly is the problem?

"Haven't you ever heard that your face will freeze like that if you hold an expression too long?" My eyes widen at his voice and I look away from his scalp and into his now open eyes, fully awake eyes on top of that.

"How long have you been awake?" I ask, my hands stilling where I have them in his hair.

"Long enough to know that the wrinkles on your brow, mean you are thinking way too hard about something?"

"Uh, yeah I guess you could say that."

"Care to elaborate, I promise not to bite you if you if you do."

"What if I want you to bite me?" I ask totally avoiding the question.

"I'll have to remember that for later, but right now why don't you share what has your face scrunching up."

I look down into his eyes as I try to bring my courage out of hiding so that I can give him what he wants, open up to him, let him know what I am thinking, and perhaps take that first step into the scary world of the unknown.

"I was thinking about trust and how despite the fact that you have earned my trust several times over I haven't acknowledged to myself or even allowed myself to show you that I trust you. I let your age and several other things I'm not about to go into cloud my mind, but you have been far more trustworthy than I could have ever imagined." I look up away from his smoldering eyes that convey too much emotion and focus on the dvd player. The little green numbers flash at me allowing my brain to focus even as I feel Edward's movement beside me I focus on the tinny green numbers.

I glance at him quickly out of the corner of my eye seconds before he pulls me closer to his now upright body.

"I know you trust me even if you don't want to admit it." He tells me without hesitation.

We talk a little more never really settling back into a deep conversation about my thoughts and feeling. It feels good to be here with him, I let myself realize that slowly I think I am becoming attached to the man sitting beside me. What am I gonna do when I have to leave him? My life has barely begun and he has already experienced so much, and what about his baseball career? I can't give up what I have always wanted for love. Love…?

School on Monday pulls be back from my dream world where only Edward and I exist, it is like two different worlds for me. Here at school I almost feel like a different person than the girl who is with Edward. I know we meaning the two different mes are actually the same, but the situations are different. If Edward had been a boy at school I wouldn't act any different, would I?

Just as I was walking back towards class after lunch Jacob pulls me aside, uncharacteristic and something that will with out a doubt make us both late for class.

"Jake…What are you doing you're gonna make me late?" I hiss at him in hushed tones.

"Bella, I have to ask you something…you have me worried about you." He says leaning back against the hallway wall like it is gonna take well into the next class period for this whole conversation to take place.

"Fine, What is it? I mean if you are concerned then I want to know." I say as my curiosity fires up and starts to burn at my brain.

"It's about your boyfriend…" He says with obvious disgust though he isn't trying to hide it very well if at all.

Panic sets in as I scan the hall for any lurking students with big listening ears and large gossiping mouths. What is Jake thinking asking me this here and now of all places and times? Doesn't he know what would happen if those evil girls knew we were…boyfriend, hum? I kinda like the sound of that.

"What about him?" I whisper wholly expecting someone to pop up behind me and tell me they heard and know my secret.

"I've been worrying that he has well, ummm. I don't know how to say this politely…has he been pressuring you to have sex with him, cause you know since you are only 17 you could get him in trouble for that…"

"Stop! Okay, I appreciate your concern and all Jake, but you do not need to worry or even think about what I do with Edward. It is absolutely none of your business, my sex life is my own personal information, and I don't need you or anyone else dictating what I do or do not do with someone." I leave him standing there looking a little lost, but his footsteps approach me swiftly.

I whip around ready to lay it on him again, my voice is caught in my throat as my eyes widen at the shocked look on Jessica's face. Shit, How much did she over hear?

"You're a liar." She sneers at me before I even utter a word. I blink my eyes and just stare at her waiting for what she has to say next. "You think anyone would believe that Edward Cullen would want to have sex with you...he could have any girl in Washington, no scratch that probably the whole US of A." With her hands on her hips and a flip of her hair she attempts to look threatening.

"I don't know what you think you heard, Jess…but you are off base. I don't want to start a fight with you or anyone else I just want to get to class."

"I knew from the moment I saw you Isabella, that you thought you were better than us, just because you come from some big city you think that makes you better…" I keep walking away from her voice, away from what could have gone much worse.

I don't feel like I breathe deeply until I am on the road headed back home. The rich warm smell of Edward's car comforts me in a way that I never thought possible, from that smell alone the anxiety and fear drift of the window.


	33. Chapter 33

**Okay here ya all go update time don't worry i will update again this week unless something comes up like an interview or some major flood of places i need to apply to and go resume and coverletter crazy again....so without further ado Read Read Read and if you like me Review and tell me what you think..... ENJOY**

Chapter 33

I let all my worries and anxiety go as I head in the house to see Edward. School is school and doesn't need to mess with what I have going with Edward. Jessica doesn't need to worry about my life and neither does Jacob. It is my life, I repeat that over and over until I myself believe I can and will do anything and everything I want.

"Hey, Edward I'm home." I say in a cheery voice as I spy him stretched out on the couch. I still wonder sometimes if he waits for me to get home or exactly what he does during the day. I look at the leg he has propped up on the coffee table, still only a brace for another week or so, can't wait.

"Hey, I was hoping you would get home soon." He smiles at me and glances out the window squinting as the sun streams into his eyes.

"Really? Why?" I ask curious about what he would want to do now that I am home.

"Do you have a lot of homework tonight?"

"Not really just some reading I don't really have to do…" I purse my lips before I ask, "Why?"

"Nothing really all that important, I was just hoping to spend some time with you that didn't require your text books," He says sheepishly wrinkling his eyebrows just enough to make it look like he is worried of my response. He had helped me with my homework before, making me feel all encompassingly stupid in the ways of math.

"Sure thing, wanta go outside…ooooh we can sit in the sun again." I smile, "just let me grab an apple out of the fridge before we head outside…or my stomach will be singing for you."

"Alright, though if your stomach was singing to me I might have to take a closer look at it." I'll ignore that it doesn't make any sense, I shake me head slightly and fight back the smile threatening to peak on through.

I toss my bag on the ground and grab an apple out of the fridge before I head to the back door. My hopes are shattered as I look out on the backyard, the sun is not there, only shadows fill the expanse of grass. I see the shadow of the house, the shadow of the trees, and a few other smaller ones thus no sunlight.

"There's no sun left." I pout as Edward joins me at the back door.

"Let's go out front we will still find sun out there." I smile and wonder why I didn't think of it, hell I just walked in through the front door with the sunshine on my face.

Just as Edward thought, the sun is still shinning on the lawn out front due to the lack of trees and the direction the house is facing. We lie down on the blanket while I eat my apple, the silence is comfortable, and I wonder what to do with my apple core. I shrug and toss it towards the side of the house; the birds will eat it, right?

"I miss you while you are at school you know." Edward says rolling up onto his elbow to look down on me. "I wish you were in college so I could meet you for lunch and stuff." He muses quietly while his fingertip traces the length of my arm.

"Yeah? Well, you do remember I am only a junior, even after this year I have another left." I say hoping I don't shatter the mood.

"I'll be patient and wait…" He trails off but leans a little closer.

"So is this what you couldn't wait for me to get home for?" I laugh as his finger traces the outline of the front of my shirt.

"Oh, yeah…I couldn't help but wonder, hope, and contemplate if you would come out here with me after school." His voice draws me in like none other and his eyes hold my gaze even as his lips start to collide with mine. That didn't take long I inwardly smirk, it feels good to know he wants me.

The kiss starts out slow and teasing, but we shift closer and the kiss becomes deeper more aggressive as his body rests against mine. Trailing down my neck his moist mouth steals away my breath and forces me to squirm beneath him. My hands trail down his back, oh but it is not the same as it was before, his shirt is a hindrance I want skin, but we are outside in the open…we can't.

Edward has other things in mind than my non-exhibitionistic thoughts because the second I almost tell him to stop his hand is snaking up under my shirt. Oh how I wish I was in my bikini about now, a stray thought in my mind screams. Caution flies out the window and I find myself pulling the hem of Edward's shirt upward revealing his lower abdomen, my eyes zero in on the slight trail of hair leading down below his pants. I can't tear my eyes away but am forced to his the top of his head blocks my sight just before his eyes are before mine once again.

"Bella?" His voice is deep, breathy, and full of question as he trails his hand down my abdominals where he skirts along the waistband of my jeans. A trail of blazing fire and want has me feeling out of control maybe even a little rash. My trembling fingers enclose around one of his belt loops and I tug pulling him, willing him closer and to continue.

His body is heavy against my side as he leans down to rest beside me, his fingers are just now under the rim of my jeans touching not skin but the elastic of my panties. Oh, Gosh, which ones do I have on…I have a semi-panic attack that I might have on granny undies. He is watching me now, intently so, his fingers slide towards my button and his eyes watch me as he pops it open. My breathing isn't ragged but almost non-existent as my eyes cast down to watch his fingers, but before I can watch too long his mouth has enclosed over mine.

My eyes close without a second thought and as his mouth and tongue move is an exquisite rhythm, I feel for the first time his touch beneath my jeans, beneath my undies, and entirely against my flesh. My breathing quickens as I become lost to his touch and his mouth is once again on my neck, freeing my lungs for much needed air. Never had I expected this to happen, or this to feel so great. My legs widen as his hand slides against me.

"Get the fuck off of my daughter!" I hear just as my eyelids roll into the back of my head and instantly feel cold air where there was once Edward's warm body. My senses kick in as I glimpse my mother's angry horrified face near the driveway.

I stand up righting my clothes as my cheeks redden what could only be a deep burgundy. I swallow hard unsure of what or how to go about what most assuredly must come next. I steal a glance at Edward who is still wide eyed and looking beyond guilty.

"Mother, I can explain." I say just before she starts across the yard towards me.

"You most certainly cannot, I have two eyes, Bella dear, and regardless of what you have to say I do not want to hear it. Get your ass in the car, now!" My mother's voice is harsh, vindictive, and scary.

"But…" I trail off as she throws a hard look my way.

"Edward, I…" I am cut off.

"Edward is a grown man I am sure he can get through this without your help. Car Now!" Her voice almost growls at me.

I obey, a glance at Edward almost brings tears to my eyes, this shouldn't hurt so much, should it? How can I just walk away from him and leave him to the savages of my mother.

As I walk towards the car I hear my mother start in on Edward, calling him every name in the book from pedophile to SOB and back again. I catch Phil's eye as I come around the car and give him a pleading look—he looks torn…

I sit down, Phil starts toward my mother, and Edward who I notice is talking to her calmly instead of yelling. As Phil joins them I lose my sight of Edward, the talking has gone from the intense threats, and yelling to a conversation so quiet I can't hear. The last thing I see is Edward pinch the top of his nose and fling his hands into the air as he starts towards our house—his house that is.

A few moments later I watch as Phil starts up to the house and my mother starts back towards the car. The slam of the car door is the only sound I hear as we drive away. There are no explanations as to why they suddenly showed up, no threats to my freedom, and nothing what so ever to indicate where we are heading. I lean my head against the cool window wondering why this had to happen. I am now once again with my mother, who is more oppressive than anyone could imagine.


	34. Chapter 34

**Told you i wouldn't keep you waiting long and here it is.......hope you eNJOY Thanks for the reviews read em loved em and hopin for more **

Chapter 34

We pull up to a small house in a neighborhood in Forks, there is a small u-hall truck in the drive I notice as I watch my mother get out of the car. She waits for me to follow her lead and get out, which I do. Her eyes are narrowed and the anger is still strong on her face. I want to cringe back and hide in the car, but instead I slam my door and look at my mother hoping for some explanation.

"Let's go." Is all she says before walking up the drive to the front door of the house. I take a look at the house again, a two-story with a triangle roof, classic older house looking like one bedroom upstairs since it looks so tiny from the outside.

I follow my mother into the house and grimace when I see the furniture from our old place scattered haphazardly around the main living area.

"Mom?" I say quietly not sure… what if anything should be said.

"It was supposed to be a surprise…well the surprise was there but not how I wanted you to find out we are moving here." Shock rolls through me, 'why the hell didn't you call' is what I want to scream but I don't.

"Why didn't you tell me? You know I hate surprises."

"How do you think I feel seeing that disgusting man defile my baby girl? Talk about surprises! And if you weren't so busy doing God knows what with _him_ you would have known I have been calling since you got out of school."

Shit.

This could have been avoided.

"Mom…it's not his fault." I manage to say before she turns and looks at me again.

"I can't even look at you right now, Bella. Phil and I are going to pack your things up and I want you to be here when I get back. You will not be seeing him again. You will be here and school until further notice, no friends unless I approve. You will be seeing a counselor; I will not have this…this affect you negatively. God only knows what else he made you do or made you think." She runs her hands over her hair, " I am so sorry, honey, why didn't you say something? Your room is upstairs; you'll find your furniture up there. We will all talk later when Phil and I get back."

I just stare blankly at her, is she out of her freaking mind? The front door slams shut and the car engine starts and yet I still just am stupefied in place. Counseling? Approving my friends? Hell, what is next a convent?

After about 20 minutes or so I drag myself upstairs and into the only bedroom on the second floor, I see my old bed and dressers and sink down onto my mattress. I sure don't want to talk about it, what am I going to say? I wanted him to touch me, to kiss me, and I think I am in love with the guy. That would not go over well at all, but damn if it isn't the truth. My only hope is that Phil will be the voice of reason; he knew we were together; he would have to know that we would do _things_.

The tears start to fall as the realization of what just happen sets in, how can she do this to me? My heart feels like a constant ache. What is he saying to them? Will he stand up and fight for me or will he step back and I will never see him again? My deep breath isn't quite so deep as I start to hiccup and hyperventilate at the thought of losing Edward forever. Exhaustion takes me over and I drift into a restless sleep.

EPOV

The door opens behind me, my eyes close involuntarily, and I just want a do over for this day. His footsteps behind me are all I hear. I want to break down but I won't at least not now. Being caught with my hand down her pants on the front lawn cannot look good, anyway you rationalize it. Sure, I live out in the middle of nowhere, and sure, I didn't know I would have visitors, but hell, we were out in the open. Bella's mother wants to press charges, wants the cops involved and the fear pours down on me. My throat is dry and my lungs feel empty while I just stand there staring past the wall like I have x-ray vision.

"Edward, why don't you take a seat?" Phil's voice does nothing to squelch the panic, it only adds to the finality of it all. I am going to lose her.

I take the few steps I need to that will allow me to sink into the couch; I can't even begin to relax though being off my leg sure does stop throbbing pain.

"Just relax, no one is gonna involve the cops and ruin your life." Phil's voice says calmly, " we will work this out, Renee is a reasonable woman I'm sure I can convince her that though you may be old enough to be considered an adult that you are far cry from a pedophile looking to steal her daughter's virtue."

I stare blankly at him; only thing that computes is that apparently Phil is on my side. He shouldn't be I am a monster to do such a thing to Bella, she should have a normal high school boyfriend instead of a crippled washed up baseball wannabe. The self-loathing sets in at the same time that I come to the conclusion that despite my love for the girl I should have waited—would have if I loved her enough.

My head falls into my hands as I fight back my utterly un-masculine response to the whole situation.

After a few minutes, I get myself together and I look up into Phil's concerned face. "I…I think it best if I go visit my folks back east for awhile." I manage to force out despite my want to run to Bella and make everything go away. The best way for things to go away is if I myself go away, at least for a little while.

"I'll give your father a call myself to make the arrangements, I'll need to pack Bella's things so that she'll have her stuff for school tomorrow. We bought a house in town, Edward that is why we came here today to break the good news. I got a coaching job at the local college, just assistant coach now but the head coach is going to retire soon and I'll be heading up that position come next spring."

"Her room is back there, she'll need her book bag…she doesn't have homework tonight but her books are in it." I rattle off trying to be helpful instead just what I am a guy with a bad knee.

"I'm sorry things went this way, Edward, I know you really care for her…it shows," and that was it, Phil turns and leaves to head back to Bella's room.

Just as I start to relax into the sofa the front door, opens revealing the still fired up Renee.

"Where's Phil?" She asks and I just point towards Bella's room better not to talk to the lady that wants to ruin your life.

I sit there and wait for them to finish packing up her things. About 20 minutes later Renee comes back out with a duffle bag that must be full of some of Bella's clothes and she walks straight out the door like I am a piece of furniture. I don't see her again and I suspect she left, leaving Phil here to finish packing.

I hear a loud throat clear and look up to see Phil looking slightly angry, this can't be good. "I suspect since this still has tags on it that my daughter is still a virgin." He spits out at me while holding up the blue lacey number Emmett picked out for the birthday present.

"Be very careful how you answer me, son." His voice is tight and hard as well as his stance.

"Um, yeah I didn't…um." I lick my lips nervously, "buy her that, honestly."

"Any other surprises I need to be aware of?"

"No, not that I have knowledge of," I reply tearing my eyes away from the temptation the lace brings into my minds eye.

The bags stack up one by one in the living room. Her empty room, my hurting heart…my mind travels to Bella and what she is possibly going through.

"Edward," Phil says gaining my attention, "I talked to Renee and she agreed not to involve the cops if you leave town for awhile, we're not asking you to move away permanently, she doesn't want you around Bella or to even have contact with her. She is only agreeing to this because I forced her hand. I never meant to ever put you in this kind of situation." He lets out a deep breath, "I'll call your father and be sure to be ready for your flight in the morning. I'll drive you to the airport and if you don't mind me barrowing your car, I'll make sure it gets back here for you."

"Sure, whatever works." I sigh diverting my eyes from the very man I held in such high regard. The weight of him thinking poorly of me hit hard, maybe even harder than it will be to come clean to my mother and father.

"You're a good kid, Edward…life may be full of rules and regulations, but when you put aside all that you didn't do a thing wrong."

I toss him my keys and with that he is gone and so is Bella's stuff. I wonder down the hall towards the now empty bedroom. My head hits the side of the doorframe as I stare at the vacant room, two steps into the room and I can't take it. I collapse to the floor. My heart is heavy as I force myself up to lean against the bed, she is just gone, and tomorrow I will be on a plane to the other side of the country.


	35. Chapter 35

**Okay so here is the next chapter hope you enjoy....prolly my longest chapter for this story so far. Tried to keep this realistic as possible.....hope you argree that everything is plasuible and not over done ENJO Y and as always thaks for reading and thanks so much for the reviews if i didn't tell you already**

Chapter 35

"Don't you think we should let her cool off until morning?" I hear Phil's voice as I start to wake up. My face is pressed firmly into my pillow and the bare mattress is digging into my skin.

"No, I don't think we should let this go until tomorrow, I already agreed with you that we shouldn't drag Edward's name through the mud, but I will not go another hour without knowing what happened in that house. I trusted that…that man with my little girl and look how he repays me. I want answers and I want them now, I know Bella and she would never even think about dating let alone having S-E-X with a boy. She knows that she has to wait until her schooling is done before she starts getting involved in all that nonsense."

"Renee listen to yourself for just a second, do you even remember what it is like to be 17? Let alone a young girl in love." I listen quietly as they discuss me wondering where this whole discussion will end up.

"Yes, in fact I do and the next week I was pregnant and wondering why my mother wasn't stricter with me. I don't want my mistakes to be hers. I don't want her to throw her life away just for a simple act for what she believes is true love."

"Just hear her out, let her explain herself without jumping to conclusions. You ripped her away from him like one more second and you would see her turn to dust. I don't want this to affect her negatively, Renee she will be 18 next year do you really want her leaving this house at the stroke of midnight the eve of her birthday?"

"No, she would never…I mean she wouldn't would she?" Her voice for the first time sounds stricken and full of doubt.

I hear a few whispers before footsteps start to come up the stairs towards me. I take a deep breath wondering which one is going to confront me first. The slight rap of knuckles on my door has me rolling over to peer up at Phil's forced smile.

"How ya doing?" He asks well at least he asks instead of assumes that I feel like a rape victim like my ignorant mother.

"How's Edward?" I murmur as I shrug in answer to his question.

"He'll survive I'm sure." He says joining me on my bed as I pull myself into an upright position. "Your mother would like a word with you." He says with a slight frown.

"I heard."

"She does love you, ya know, we both do." Phil replies as he helps me to my feet.

I follow him down the stairs and eye my bags at the bottom of the staircase with disdain. I take a seat on the couch, which is still angled badly and in the middle of what could possibly be a dinning room. My arms cross in front of my chest, defensive posture I know but I can't help it.

My mother and Phil join me, both sitting across from me on a couple of boxes. The third degree at least I will get a chance to explain my side of the story.

"Okay, why don't you start by telling us how long you and Edward have been…uh dating?" Phil's calm voice settles over me and I am thankful it is a question I can actually answer.

"No," my mother cuts me off before I even open my mouth to speak, "I want to know how long she has been having sex with the boy and if I need to make her a doctors appointment for a pregnancy test."

"Mother!" I shout appalled at her question and the bluntness of it.

"Well, answer the question, Bella, and don't even think about lying to me cause I will know." I narrow my eyes at her and swallow down the acidic response I want to throw back at her.

"If you must know about my sex life, mother, I am still a virgin. Edward in no way ever pressured me to change that fact either. He has been nothing but a gentleman the entire time."

"Gentlemen sure do not start to get naked on their own front lawn, nor do they perform sexual acts with individuals under the age of 18."

"One year, gosh…does it even matter to you that I wanted it, that I wanted him to touch me, to kiss me, hell mother, I even wanted to have sex with him, but no, you don't care that it was consensual. You would be acting this way even if it was a boy my own age so don't throw the whole age thing in my face. You have done nothing but discourage me from talking to the opposite sex since you noticed the guys looked more at me than you."

"Bella, I have only done what is best for you." She all but whispers, "And I will continue to do what is best for you until you are no longer a child."

"What is best for me is Edward? I love him and he sure as hell loves me." I shout at her standing up thus forcing them both to rise to their own feet.

"Love," she laughs, "What do you know about love? If he loved you he wouldn't be leaving town tomorrow on the first flight he could get." She sneers at me and I instantly look to Phil.

"Renee that isn't why…"

"Shut up, all that matters is that Edward is leaving town, without saying goodbye or…" My mother cuts him off.

"Is she right? He's leaving?" I question around the lump in my throat, I look at Phil and he only nods in confirmation. A deep breath and a few silent tears later and the front door is the first place I run to. Out into the night air, out into the cool freedom that is Forks, I just run.

I hear Phil's voice call after me, but I just keep running down the street and away from them. I am almost certain Phil wanted to explain why Edward is leaving but my mother just wants me to believe that he nothing more than horny man who wanted in my pants. That sounds about like her description of him. I start to slow my pace as I reach the end of town, I have no clue where I am and no clue where the house is that my mom moved into so I just keep walking. Out of town on the highway, the name is irrelevant and my destination is anywhere but here.

There are few headlights on the road as I start get further from town; I just hope that Phil and my mother don't come looking for me down this road. The reasonable and responsible Bella they both know would have stayed in town, probably more like the next house over or something.

As I walk, my mind starts telling me things I would rather not dwell on, things that sound similar to my mother's way of thinking, similar in voice and in content. I look around me as I stop along the road, darkness everywhere I look. Exhaustion takes over and I sink into the ground…sitting silently watchful that I am a good distance from the ever present white line along the pavement.

I know I shouldn't be sitting here in the dark along a road I have never been on, but I don't know where else to turn. The grass is wet and cool as it starts to soak through my jeans but it is a small price to pay for having a little freedom. I forgot how oppressive my mother can be.

My eyes flash up as a lone car approaches and dread washes over me 'great they found me'. Please let it be Phil and not my mother I pray as the car comes to a halt. I don't recognize it, I know it could be a rental, but I don't think so.

The passenger's side door swings open, "Do you need help, miss?" A deep voice asks and I look up into the car, which isn't a car but a beat up old pick up truck. The face I see reminds me of my lunchroom friends yet older, a warm smile is upon his face and for some reason I want to trust this man. My mother's voice rings in my ears not to get into cars with strangers, but I am mad at my mother, at the moment.

"I'm lost." I say loud enough for him to hear over the noisy engine and I pull myself up to my feet.

"I haven't seen you around here, are you from Forks? I myself live over on the Rez, but I might know your folks." He smiles.

I frown at the folks part and his words kick into my brain…the rez isn't that precisely where Jake is from. "Umm, do you know a umm Jacob Black?" I mumble out unsure of what he will say to my question.

"Yeah, sure do…do you go to school with the kid?"

"Yeah, he's a friend of mine do you think you could give me a ride to his house?"

"I don't know…sure I can't just give you a lift home." He looks at me warily.

"I don't want to go home, plus I have no clue where it is…we just moved here and I don't know my address."

"Look kid, I don't feel right about taking you anywhere but home, how about I take you into town to the police station and they can call your folks?"

"No thanks, I'll just walk." I mutter shutting the door to the truck, escape that way is not gonna happen.

The driver looks at me one more time before driving off probably to call the police and to tell them where I am. Why did I tell him I was lost? I beat myself up over the whole thing a little longer before I turn off the road at the next crossing. I'm not gonna find myself in the back of a police cruiser anytime this century. Hmmm, would this be considered running away from home, no, I just don't want to go home, I want Edward he is my home.

I let out a deep breath as I look up at the cloudy sky, how long has it been since I left? An hour maybe…I wonder if they called in the calvary yet. I look around me, trees line both sides of the road that I am on making it seem a little scary now that I think about it. Since I have been here, I have yet, to venture out into the wilderness much less jump in with both feet first. I'll have to stick to the roads, but it wouldn't hurt to take a break.

Not making the same mistake about the locale of where said break will be taken I head over to the tree line and sink down next to a rather large tree. I won't be seen here from the road…well at least not easily. Before I know it my eyes are getting heavy and all thoughts of getting back up are null and void as my chin bobs and rest on my shoulder.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Bright light, blindingly bright, I might say is shinning in my eyes. I hold my hand up to shield them from what I now recognize as an ordinary flash light.

"Bella, thank God I found you." I hear a voice that takes me a moment to recognize and I almost smile when I realize that it belongs to Jasper.

"Jasper? Why were you even looking for me?" I mumble as the flashlight beam drops from my face and to his feet as he walks closer to me. The dome light in his car is on and I see that he is alone, alone is good.

"I'm looking for you because I get a desperate phone call from Edward two hours ago saying that you are lost and the rest of the story of the reasons why. C'mon let me help you up." He extends his hand towards me and as I grasp it I realize how wet and cold I really am. My arms almost instantly wrap around my bare arms trying to seek any warmth I can find.

Jasper helps me to his car without any more questions and it isn't until he starts the car back up that he says something. "What on earth were you thinking, I don't care what your parents said…do you know they said some guy from the reservation phoned the police stating that a lost child was seen sitting on the highway. It didn't take the cops long to figure out who you were, but that was over an hour ago."

"I didn't plan it, I really just got lost, and…I couldn't go back there." I mumble leaning gently against the seatbelt across my shoulder.

"Bella, I'm gonna take you home now, I know you don't want to be there, but…" He sighs audibly, "It is out of my hands."

"I know, I'm glad you found me instead of someone else." I murmur as I pull my hands through my hair silently wishing this horrible day was over. "What time is it?"

"It's nearly one in the morning?"

"Uhhgn, and you're out here looking for me who else did I drag out of bed for no good reason?"

"Relax, nobody is gonna care that they came out looking for you as long as you are safe."

A long pause occurs as I turn to stare out into the night.

"Jasper, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, what ever you want just go ahead."

"You know Edward very well; do you think he cares about me even though he is leaving?" I ask and I know all my insecurities are out there in the open for Jasper to see and hear.

He pauses for what feels like eternity, "What ever Edward does he does for a reason and what ever Edward has told you I know he would not lie to you. From my perspective, yeah I would say he cares a great deal, but he is in a tough situation right now, emotionally and physically in many ways. What is best for the both of you may not be what either of you want, but sometimes that's what life is all about making decisions that in the long run bring about the best result for all parties involved."

The silence is thick as just then we turn into the driveway, I know cause the u-haul truck is still sitting there. We both just sit in the car for a moment staring at the house.

"Do you want me to walk you in? They already know I found you, it should just be your mother inside."

Crap.

"Do you mind? If it isn't too much of a hassle I mean..I know it is late and all but do you think you could run interference until Phil gets home…If you don't want to I'm sure she won't yell at me too long…"

"Bella, it's no problem, really," He gives me a weak smile before we get out of the car.

I open the door and walk into the house. My mother is standing by the door as we walk inside her mouth opens briefly, before she closes it probably upon seeing Jasper follow me inside.

"Thank God, you found her." My mother exclaims pulling me into a hug, "What has gotten into you young lady?" Her voice much less harsh than it would have been were I alone.

"Thanks, Jasper; you are such a good friend." I smile at him, "If you don't mind mother I am going to take a hot shower and head to bed."

"Goodnight, Bella, I'm sure I'll see you around." Jasper's optimism makes me even more depressed, he or any male would not be on my approved friends list. My mind seethes at the thought of living with my mother once again, before I moved here I would never have thought I would care, but my eyes are open now.


	36. Chapter 36

**Okay so here you go....hope you like ENJOY..thanks for R&R **

Chapter 36

The morning sun doesn't bring me any solace, but quite the opposite occurs to me. It will be the first time that I either must walk to school or be dropped off…both are beyond horrific after having Edward's car. I frown at my barren room as I roll out of bed, and it takes all my effort not to climb back in again. I make my way down stairs to find only my mother and a one deep breath later I am trying to find as many things to keep me busy as it is humanly possible. Avoidance is going to be my game today, I am not ready to deal with any of the crap she wants to throw at me without breaking down or worse having a repeat of last night. It doesn't take me long before leaving the house is better done early if I am to do so without incident.

I rummage through my suitcase to find a huge hoodie and a pair of jeans, just the outfit to complete my nightmarish of a day. I grab my book bag and hurry out the door before my mother has a chance to stop me.

Just as I reach the cement sidewalk I hear it, "Bella, don't you want me to give you a lift?" My mother's voice seems to echo across the yard.

"I'll walk." I grumble harshly and continue towards where I hope the school is. Like I found out last night I am not entirely familiar with this part of Forks, but it can't be that difficult.

The walk turns out to be a straight shot up the road about a mile, not too long but not quite the easiest walk considering I was use to driving. I recognized cars speeding past me as I walked, cars that will ultimately end up in the school parking lot. I just want to get there and relax, at least school can't change overnight.

The second I walk into the building I get that feeling, it sorta just overwhelms me and lets me know that in fact everything had changed. The slight looks from the boys and the sneers on some girls faces say it all. No one says a word, the whispers are so quiet that I can't tell what they are saying, but I can read it al over their faces. So how they all know…

I swallow loudly, almost audible if you ask me, but as my eyes dart from student to student as I traverse the hall I know that I simply will not be able to be here. Heavy pressure seems to have found my lungs and it is near impossible to breath in the stale chemically cleansed air of the hallway.

The first and possibly the only friendly face I see has me grasping his hand and pulling him into the broom closet with approximately 40 wide eyes watching the whole thing. My breathing is to the point bordering on hyperventilating as I sink down against the wall pulling Jacob with me. My hand drops his as I pull my knees up against my chest to cradle my arms and head.

"Bella, are you okay?" I should have known he would ask, I have overwhelmed the guy by dragging him into the janitors closet before school, let alone in front of so many people.

"They all know…at least he is gone." I whisper out into my knees as I glance up at him in the dark closet.

"I didn't tell anyone, I swear…I would never do that to you."

"Relax, Jake, I know you didn't Jessica must have started spreading rumors."

"So he's gone…where?"

"Doesn't matter, my mom found out and well things didn't go according to anyone's plans. I now live here in Forks on this road whatever it is named." You think I would have checked the street signs this morning…oops?

The bell rings before he can say anything more. He starts to stand up and I panic pulling him back down awkwardly by his jeans.

"Bella?" He asks clearly confused, I sure would be if I were him. A girl he is crushing on drags him into a dark closet and then when he tries to leave I start tugging on his pants. Ummm, little awkward moment, I'm sure it will pass, right?

"I can't go to class today, skip with me I don't know where to go?" I plead hoping he will agree.

He gives me a searching look before agreeing but his voice is anything but confident. I wonder if he ever did this before, skipping class isn't something everyone does. It isn't something I do.

We wait for another 10 minutes of which is almost complete silence, both of us must be at a loss for words. The doorknob to the janitor's closet seems cold as I gently push it open to check for teachers. The coast is clear as far as I can tell and we both slide out into the hallway. In the florescent lighting of the hall Jacob looks flushed, after spending 15 minutes with me in a dark closet he looks like he was doing a little more than just sitting on the floor.

Our path is set, the back doors that lead out to the back of the school are only three classrooms down and our best chance of getting out of her without someone taking notice. Well, at least I hope that is how it all works considering I have never even entertained thoughts of leaving school once I arrived. The more I think on it the more I realize that my mother had me thoroughly brainwashed into what she thinks is the perfect image of a high school student. Sorry mom, life has caught my eye and what you have told me and what you have forced upon me is not what I want.

The cool air against my face revives me a bit as we make a break away from the school, I follow Jacob towards the tree line hoping with all I am that he is familiar with the woods around here. The world around us darkens as we get into the trees, it feels cooler less muggy underneath the canopy that is the forest. I want to sink down into the green expanse around me but someone my logic say that I would become extremely wet seeing as the sun doesn't penetrate here.

"Where to? You do have some nature skills since you are native and all, right?" I ask feeling kinda stupid asking.

"Yeah, well, I grew up playing in these very forests. You can trust me, Bella." And I do trust him, more so than I would trust any other guy to lead me into the dark forests of Washington.

"Come on, let's go this way I know where we can get a car for the day…that is if you want to get out of here, we can head back to my house."

"Where are we gonna get a car? Can you even drive? Legally? Jake, you won't steal a car will you?" I ask jogging a bit to catch up to him, man he sure can walk fast through these brambles and other forestry hazards.

"Relax, I am not gonna steal a car, and yes I can drive but to be safe you will be doing the driving since I lack an official license. My friend works a few miles from here at a garage outside of town; he will lend us his pickup if I ask.

"Really and why would this obviously older friend of yours give you his truck when you are skipping class?" I say as I stumble gracefully over a moss-covered log.

"He is actually my boss, I work part time at his garage and in return I get the parts I need to fix up the rabbit I am working on in my garage at home. He won't mind as long as I am back there after school to work my shift." He shrugs and I give the whole idea of him never skipping school before a second thought. If he is this casual about the whole thing he must have.

I follow Jake through the trees for about five more minutes before he starts for the nearby open. We come out alongside the road across the street from what is obviously the garage. A large wooden sign proclaims it is Sam's Garage with a logo of a wolf leaning out of a pickup truck. The garage itself looks like it could use a paint job and a heavy-duty scrub down with degreaser.

I warily walk up to the building along side Jake who seems oddly at home here, I never pictured him being into fixing cars or actually even having a job. There is more to the guy than I thought or that ever came up during lunch.

Jake walks right into the large garage like he owns the place before zeroing in on a guy who is halfway beneath a car. I hang back a bit as I wonder how this is going to go.

"Hey, Sam…could I barrow your truck for a while?" He says gently kicking the feet extending from beneath the car.

"Jacob? Aren't you supposed to be in school?"

"Yeah…something came up." Jake replies as the guy under the car, Sam, starts to slide out.

A grin spreads across Sam's face, "I see you found him without my assistance, young lady." I stare blankly at him, have I met him before.

"Ahhh, I see I got a better look at you that night than you did me, I hope you found your way home since I last saw you."

The guy from the road who called the cops on me. I frown at him involuntarily but only for a second, I don't want to be rude.

"Uh, yeah I made it home okay…" I mumble looking at the ground sheepishly.

"So about the truck, can we barrow it?" Jake asks again taking Sam's attention away from me and back to the whole reason for our impromptu visit.

"Yeah, keys are in the office head on back and grab them, I'll keep your little friend company." He says taking a step closer to me effectively cutting off my route to follow Jake. "So skipping school….your idea or his?" Sam questions as soon as Jake is out of hearing range.

"I sorta dragged him along…I don't want him to get into trouble but right now he is about the only friend I have right now at school…well unless you count the rest of them but they are more Jake's friends than mine." I ramble unable to stop myself.

He sorta grunts at me and offers nothing else just as Jake comes back twirling the keys around his index finger.

"Don't get caught skipping by the cops, and stay out of trouble you two I don't want to have to explain to anyone why my truck is in your hands." He sighs and lets us leave without another word. He must not be that old considering he is letting two teen take his truck for the day without batting an eye. Anyone much older would frown upon that, still he wouldn't give me a ride the other night either.

I climb into the truck and fasten my seatbelt before I even realize that I don't have the keys to start the vehicle. Cold metal rests in my hand as I hear the passenger's side door slam shut.

"You okay, Bella?" Jacob asks and I nod before I start the truck and back out onto the road.

"Which way from here?" I ask remembering he said we could go to his house, which I have no idea how to get to.

He gives me simple directions and we slowly but surely make it out of town without running into anyone who would want us to return to school. As we pull into the small town that is on the reservation, I have to slow down if not for the speed limit but also so I could watch the scenery out the window. The ocean comes into view and I smile broadly.

"Can we go to the beach?" I ask as I allow the truck to coast along as I gaze out at the blue water.

"Sure, Bella lets just drop the truck at my house and we can walk down to the beach." He replies smirking at my interest in the body of water.

I drive a little bit longer until Jake points out a small house for me to park in front of. I cut the engine and we climb out of the truck, I hesitate for a second wondering if he is gonna go inside or not. Is he gonna tell who ever is in the house that he is home? I sure wouldn't but that is just me.

"Come on, let's just go down to the beach," he says motioning with his hand for me to follow, and of course I do. There is something about Jake that makes me feel at ease around him, I think as I watch him slow his pace for me to catch up. Now if only I didn't feel like I was leading him on by wanting to hang out with him, because in my eyes he is nothing more than a friend.

We end up down the beach a ways watching the tide come in, not exactly talking but we aren't silent either. My stomach starts to rumble and I am sure it is well past lunch time as we start walking back towards Jake's house.

"Thank you for today." I say breaking the quiet.

"No problem." He smiles and a little bit of dread starts to sink in as I wonder what the smile conveys. I don't want him to get the wrong idea.

"You are a great friend; I really needed to get away from school and all."

"Yeah…let's go find something to eat and then I'll drop you back at your house." He replies but the bright smile has faded.


	37. Chapter 37

**Okay here is the next chapter and don't worry i am still writitng the next one as we speak so it should be up hopefully soooooon, this chapter took a lot longer to write and it went a little differently that i expected so hopeyou ENJOY **

Chapter 37

My steps are hesitant as I walk up to my mother's house, I can't even process the fact that it is my house yet. My hand falters as I reach for the doorknob, the school had to have called them, I mean that is what schools do when you just don't show up. A deep breath and a long pull on my eyelids later and I rotate the knob before forcing my feet forward.

The warm air washes over my face as I step inside and close the door behind me, she is sitting on the sofa watching some soap opera. Her gaze turns on me with a smile and I brace myself fro the blow.

It never comes.

"Hi, how was school, Bella?" She asks with a smile and it makes me want to cringe even more.

"It was great." I mumble with a finality to the conversation and start towards the stairs.

"Bella, I would like to have a word with you before you start on your homework." I stop mid-step and swivel around. "Come have a seat right here next to me."

I walk over to her and sit next to her. My mother's face looks stern and without much emotion, how can this not pull emotion out of her, hell I am barely holding it together. I don't think I would have held it together if I had to stay at school today and now I have to deal with her.

"Bella, I know you think that you are in love with that man, but you are just too young to really know what love is. I was your age once, yes I haven't forgotten no matter what you may think I am just trying to protect you. You are my little girl and I don't want you to throw your life away like I did. I had dreams once Bella…"

"Oh, dreams that didn't include me, your daughter. Mom, I don't want to fight with you, hell I don't even want to talk to you right now. I am not a little girl and I stopped being one awhile ago I am 17 years old not 7. You can't control me forever, I like having friends and I like feeling normal for a change. You may be able to make my life hell for another year, but if you think that will continue you are sadly mistaken. A few months ago before I moved here I was ready to let you run my life, but Edward showed me that there is more to life than just school and brief acquaintances."

"I understand what you are saying, Bella but I won't let you run amuck with these so called friends you have made all of which I think are several years older than you. It is just not natural for kids to have adult friends…what kind of men and women want to hang out with high school girls they must have something wrong with them is all I can say. As for your friends at school, you are welcome to invite any of them over for me to assess while you are grounded."

"Grounded?"

"Yes, grounded you will go to school and come home and that is it, any friends you have that go to your school are welcome to join you for studying or even to hang out on the weekend here. Furthermore, I don't want you hanging out with those older friends of Edward's while I am sure they are fine people I don't think it is healthy."

I roll my eyes at her; I knew this was coming even before she said any of it. She can't surprise me anymore. Just then the front door opens and Phil walks in.

"How was school, Bella?" He asks with a hint of sarcasm, crap does he know I wasn't there.

"Fine." I reply, "Though I don't appreciate being treated like an inmate while I am here." I say glaring at my mother.

"Bella, would you excuse us for a moment I want to talk to your mother about something." Hopefully he is still on my side, I censor my response and just nod and head upstairs.

I leave the room knowing full well I would be able to hear their conversation from by bedroom, the sound in this house sure carries.

"I thought we agreed to talk to her together." Phil sound like he is a little frustrated and annoyed by my mother's actions.

"I know, but you were supposed to be here before she got home, what took you?"

"Sorry…I just got caught up, but that is besides the point you can't just treat her like this it just isn't right. Edward isn't here now but he is coming back, do you really want her sneaking off to meet him?" Phil says in what I can only guess is a hushed whisper cause I have to strain to overhear.

"She won't have a chance in hell of doing that!"

"Really, don't be so sure of yourself…I guarantee that she can and she will have the opportunity to sneak off with him and I don't want to see the strain that that would put on not only her mental but also physical health."

"What do you mean exactly? What do you know that I don't?" Uh-oh I don't want her to know anything Phil might know. Please don't rat me out if you know I skipped school today. I close my eyes and wait for his response.

"Nothing that you wouldn't if you would just open your eyes…now I understand that you are angry and disappointed in the decisions that Bella has made but she does not deserve complete lockdown, you are not her warden, we are her parents."

"I don't want her sneaking off to go have sex with that…that Edward, it just isn't right."

"Come on, you need to relax while we discuss this." It is the last thing I hear before I hear the front door slam shut.

I flop back onto my bed wondering what exactly Phil wanted to discuss with my mother without me hearing. Is he gonna side with her and doesn't want me to know it? Damn, I wish he didn't know I could hear them. I take a deep breath and stare up at my ceiling looking at the cottage cheese texture with a complete loss of thought.

It may have only been 20 minutes or it could have been a few hours later when I hear the front door open once again. I tense against my bed and wait for the telltale signs that one of them is ascending the stairs. I hear it and relax as I hear the heavier footsteps of Phil against the hallway flooring.

"Bella, are you awake?" He asks quietly.

"Yeah, sorta…"I say with a yawn as he flips the light on in my room before leaning against the doorframe.

"Now I want the truth, I'm not your mother so do not lie to me." He says with more force than I have heard from him ever. "Where were you this afternoon?"

My mouth opens but nothing comes out as I try to recover from the flinch I experienced from his voice. "How'd you find out?" I mumble quietly.

"Do you forget that I was taking Edward to the airport this morning? His flight was delayed or you would have been in the clear when he received the phone call that you weren't in school. Don't worry they now have the correct phone numbers to call if you decide to skip out again and trust me when I say I will find you and drag you back to the building myself." I flinch again under the weight of his voice, no one has ever talked to me like this before let alone Phil. "So I repeat for the last time where were you?"

"I was at the beach with a friend, I just couldn't stay there everyone was staring at me."

"I told the school you were sick, but do not make the mistake of thinking that this will be something I will do again. Now, I've talked with your mother and we both agree that for the time being what she has said will stand at least for 2 weeks. You are grounded. After those two weeks you will be allowed to come and go as you please within reason, but you will not be allowed to contact Edward or any of his friends. Your mother is adamant about you not seeing them or talking with them, I'm sorry but that is just how it is. I don't want to trying to get a hold of Edward through any means at least for now." Shock washes over me…he wasn't on my side after all. I suck in a deep breath but I forget to exhale until my chest starts to hurt and tear threaten on the rims of my eyes. Defeat washes over me and my lower lip starts to tremble as I turn away from Phil and curl up onto my bed.

"Bella," I hear him plead as the silent tears start to drop onto my pillow. I pull my knees up to my chest as I hear him close the door quietly behind him leaving me to my misery.

How could he give in to her? How could he just let this happen when he knew about us from the beginning? My mothers claws must have tore him open. There is just no other reason for him to sentence me to this state of living hell.


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38

The two weeks of grounding passed by like a blur, I didn't talk to my mother or Phil in fact the only people I talked to, briefly at that, were my lunchroom guys. At home I went straight to my room where I quickly did the bare minimum of homework and that was it. I never responded to my mother's call to come down for dinner instead opting for a midnight snack from the fridge after everyone fell asleep. Not once did I invite a friend to come over, I wouldn't subject anyone to that kind of torture.

Tomorrow is the first day beyond the 2 weeks and I intend to take full advantage of the fact that I don't have to come home after school. I have nowhere to go but that shouldn't be a complete problem, right? A few times, I have tried to call Edward's house just to find that either no one is home or he is not answering the phone. Every time just makes me that much more depressed so early last week I gave up calling but I still have hope that he just isn't back from his parent's house yet. He said he loves me so it must be true.

I woke up early today so that I wouldn't have to see my mother or Phil before school, I jot down a quick note saying I wouldn't be home after school right away and leave. I don't want to hear the lecture about acting childish about not talking to them, I don't want to hear them tell me that time will make everything better because it won't. I refuse to believe that I will stop loving someone because time passes when I damn well that he is out there.

I try not to mope at school, the rumors have slowed and my refusal to acknowledge most of my fellow classmates has decreased the likelihood that I ever hear them spoken aloud. The rumors ranged from the most ostentatious of lie, such as that I was Edward's sex slave down to the mere topic that I was his girlfriend both of which has the relationship ending with an outlandish breakup where he leaves town. Of course, the whole school knows I ran away from home, not to mention that I skipped school with Jacob and the rumors surrounding that whole day. I am just the talk of the whole school, I wish someone would do something idiotic to take the spotlight off of me.

Whoever said small towns were great never was the center of the gossip, cause this just stinks beyond high heaven. I leave school alone and in search of something besides going home, my feet start walking me down the familiar route that I would take out to Edward's house. I know he can't be home but my feet start to take me there despite my brain's warnings against it. I get halfway down the road leading out of town before I turn around, the walk would take me the better part of 2 hours to complete at the pace I am at, not to mention the return trip.

I end up walking idly around town until it starts to get dark, my back pack is rubbing my shoulders and I am just ready to get home. My freedom doesn't feel so free anymore more like a long self-induced punishment. My feet ache and my back hurt as I take the final steps up to the house. I can't believe I just walked around for hours just to prove I could. I am a moron I am gonna face it and leave it at that.

The smells of dinner flood my brain as I step into the house and I make a straight line to the dinner table to join my parents for the first time in 2 weeks. My stomach growls as I load my plate without a word and sit down. My mother stops eating mid-bite to watch while Phil just smiles at me. I guess it is a start on my part to accept my fate. Nothing is said while I am at the table, but the mood that has been like a pressure cooker on our house has started to ease. I almost want to say something but I stop myself in favor of just heading back upstairs to my prison cell of a bedroom. Tomorrow is another day it just isn't the day that I want it to be.

The rest of the week continues along the same as Monday, by Friday though instead of walking I find myself at the elementary school sitting on a swing wishing for happier times. I toe my shoes off, stuff my socks into my sneakers, and drag my big toe through the dirt as I gently swing back and forth. After about an hour, I decide to head home early. Why not it is Friday night so I might as well get a start to my evening events of nothing?

The second I walk into the house, I know something is wrong, the dinning room table is set for more than three, and Phil and my mom are both dressed rather nice. I eye them with suspicion as I hesitate in the front room. The robust smells of beef roast fill the room and a faint scent of apple pie is hidden behind the aromas.

"What's going on?" I question and Phil smiles at me seeing as I just spoke to him two more words than I have all week. I had forced a few greetings towards him and my mother all week, but nothing anywhere near a whole sentence.

"Get changed we are having company for dinner I expect you to join us." I stop myself from making a stupid comment and force my eyes not to roll and just turn to head up to my room to change. Change into what I wonder but my mother left nothing to chance and has an awful outfit lain out just for the occasion. I wonder what she would do if I came down dressed in ragged jeans and a hoodie…

I don't want to know, I stare at the kaki pants and girly sweater and am just glad it isn't a dress. I change and wash my face before climbing into my bed to wait for the guests who I still am left in the dark about. By Phil's tone earlier, I could tell he wasn't going to allow me to question who is coming to dinner. Probably just someone he works with at his new job, his boss maybe I wonder. Great just what I wanted to do on a Friday night, play doting daughter for my mother and Phil.

The doorbell rings just as I am wondering who thought cottage cheese texture was a good choice for my bedroom ceiling. I hear Phil greet who ever it is at the door and I wonder when I will be called downstairs so introductions can be made. I cringe when I hear Phil call my name moments later and I plaster a fake smile on my face as I descend the stairs. I catch a glimpse of my mother and her horrible dress just as I get down there, my eyes should be on our guest but the bright pink and turquoise dress has me feeling a little embarrassed for the moment. The color and pattern is bad enough let alone the plunging neckline and the length make it look like something call girl would wear. I almost trip on the last step so my eyes jerk to the floor as my feet bring my body to an almost ungraceful halt.

"Bella, I would like to introduce my long time friend and mentor Carlisle Cullen and his wife Esme." My head snaps up at the mention of Cullen and along side the two who must be Carlisle and Esme is a very uncomfortable looking Edward. Uncomfortable but smiling just the same. My mine does a flip-flop and I feel my eyes widen as I extend my hand to shake with both Carlisle and Esme.

"It is so nice to finally meet you, Bella." I hear a soft spoken voice radiate through me and I tear my eyes away from Edward's green gaze to be drawn into his mother's deep brown eyes.

My brain has yet to catch up with me as I still try to fathom why and under what circumstances has my mother allowed Edward into our house.

"Dinner is ready why don't we all have a seat and I'll get everyone some refreshments." My mother's voice draws me out of my mental stupor enough to follow everyone to the dinning room table.

Nothing could have prepared me for seeing him again and in my mother's house at that. I can only stare at him silently as we take our seats at the table. He is directly across from me and his sheepish smile only makes me want to leap across the table and sit in his lap. He continues to remain quiet as my mother and Phil dish out the drinks to everyone. I don't know what I am supposed to say or why they are even here. Everyone is talking except for Edward and I and I feel like a child all of a sudden and my pink sweater does nothing to help me overcome that feeling.

"Bella, would you help me get the rest of the food from the kitchen, please." Phil's voice rings out and has me bumping my knee harshly against the table. My mother is carving the roast and her disapproving stare follows me while I follow Phil into the kitchen. I feel very emotional all of a sudden, as I make my way away from everyone, I fight back the urge to cry. Why are they teasing me with him? He is so close yet, somehow I feel like I can't even talk to him.

"The peas are on the stove, could you put them into a serving bowl." Phil says like this is a normal day and everything is fine and dandy.

"Why are they here?" I whisper as I pour the peas into a bright yellow ceramic bowl.

"I thought you wanted to see Edward?" He asks with a soft smile. "Relax, Bella, you can talk to him, this isn't some kind of cruel joke. No matter what you think of us as your parents, we wouldn't do that to you. So relax and enjoy the night."

I feel a little better knowing that they expect me to talk to him, to what extent does this all go? Is this an approval for our relationship? I doubt my mother would agree to that. I head back out to the dinning room with the peas, but I still feel leery about the whole situation.

"So Bella, how is school going this year? Phil tells me you are a bright young lady." Carlisle asks as I take my seat.

Before I can answer, I hear my mother's voice ring out, "She has always been an excellent student, always putting her studies before anything else."

My teeth come together and my jaw tightens against a retort that I am sure would upset my mother. After counting to ten, I decide on my own response, "School has always come easy for me except math that is, it has always given me some difficulty, but I hardly think it will matter because I don't intend to major in math when I attend college."

"What career do you want to pursue?" Esme asks as Phil returns with the dinner rolls and my mother finishes slicing the roast.

This time I beat my mother to the punch, "I haven't decided maybe I will become a nurse or something else in the health field."

Esme smiles at me and I see my mother fight her frown she always wanted me to become a lawyer or at least a doctor I could almost hear the response she wanted to give.

Conversation heads towards baseball seeing as the three males are all about the sport. I find the conversation a little dull, though when Edward speaks I am all ears. I hang on his every word as if it is the last time I will hear him speak, for all I know it is. His eyes catch mine every so often but we both don't say a word to each other. Though I feel our heated glances at each other haven't gone unnoticed. Once dinner is over, I help my mother clear the table. The silence between us is not a comfortable one, though I have been polite every time I speak I feel like I am saying the wrong thing according to my mother.

"Whose up for a game of euchre?" Carlisle asks with a grin, what kind of game is that I wonder?

"Sure, that sounds like a great idea." Phil says and starts to rummage in a drawer. "I know I got cards in here somewhere."

I head into the living room; I have no desire to play a card game I haven't even heard of. Let alone suffering though more conversation with my mother's disapproving looks. I walk over to the front window and look out into the night. I listen to the deck of cards being shuffled in the other room and the sounds of everyone getting settled in to play.

"What's so interesting out there, Bella?" I hear his velvety voice behind me much closer than I would have thought possible. They actually let him follow me into another room.

I turn around and worry my bottom lip between my teeth, "I missed you". I murmur so quietly as I take in his frame, standing tall without crutches or brace. He had gotten better in the three weeks I hadn't seen him.

"I missed you too." He replies and I hear the sincerity in his voice and I hold on to that in hope that he still does care for me.

"Why are you here, why now?" I ask the one other question that has been plaguing me all night.

"I wanted to call you and so many times I picked up the phone only to put it down again. I wanted to respect your parent's wishes, no matter which way you put it what we did on some level was wrong. What I did was wrong?"

"But…"

"Just let me finish, please…"His eyes say much more than his words so I let my objections fall unspoken for now, "I can't deny that I have fallen in love with you, but you are still only 17 years old and to have a sexual relationship with you is wrong a several levels. I can't just cut you from my life, you mean more to me than even I realize and so this brings me to where we are now. Here at your house where we just ate the most awkward dinner imaginable." He smiles and takes a step closer to me. The dark living room masks most of his facial features but Edward in any light is amazingly handsome.

"I will be allowed to come back that is if we can behave ourselves." He whispers in my ear causing me to have a slight shiver run down my spine. " I can't stay away, there is just something about you that rattles me soul deep. I don't want anyone but you." He whispers before he tugs on my ear with his teeth, his warm breath and gravelly voice has me closing my eyes and leaning into his touch. I want to crawl up into his lap and stay there forever, though I don't think that would be behaving.

I hear a loud clearing of a throat, "Um, Edward don't you think you could see each other better with the light on?" Carlisle says just before he flicks the overhead light on.

"Thanks, Dad I can see much better, now that you mention it." Edward replies and Carlisle just smiles at him and shakes his head lightly. "Did I ever tell you that there is ten years between Carlisle and Esme? Edward says pulling me close once again this time pulling my back firmly against his chest as we stare at the dark window now no longer able to see into the night.

"Really? Whose older, your father?"

"Yes, though Esme was my age when they met." He replies softly our conversation quiet enough that I am doubtful that anyone else could hear it.

"How'd you manage to get here anyway?"

"We drove a car, Bella…did you expect me to walk all the way from my house?" He chuckles.

"That's not what I meant and you know it." I mumble.

"It wasn't easy I'll tell you that, but I'm not gonna go into all what was said. It's over with and you don't need to worry about it all right now."

"Why did something bad happen or something bad said?" I ask suddenly concerned.

"Nothing that wasn't true and nothing that can't be fixed…let me just say that you weren't the only one whose parents disapproved of your behavior." I lean back into him as I think that over, his parents disapprove of us then why are they here. He is so gonna have to tell me what happened though it is probably not the best conversation to have while our parents are in the other room.

The night passed too quickly and as I heard everyone in the next room starting to say goodbye I wondered if I would get a goodnight kiss or if that was something that was off limits so to speak. He avoided any more physical touches beyond wrapping his arms around me and that little stunt with my ear. I long for him to kiss me like we had done so many times before.

Edward's arms drop from around me but he grabs my hand and I trail him to the door.

I hear his parents say goodbye to mine and I automatically say that it was nice to meet you and smile as they say goodbye to me.

"Thank you for dinner." I hear Edward say to my mother and Phil before we walks out onto the door pulling me behind him. "Walk with me to my car, Bella." He says dragging me out the door not letting my mother object.

I follow him to his car and watch as Esme and Carlisle climb into their own car. I also note that Phil has ushered my mother into the house and shut the front door.

"I will see you again soon." He promises before he leans over and gives me a kiss. It isn't a chaste kiss by any means but it isn't all that I wanted it to be. We can't have a deep heart stopping kiss on my driveway with my mother peeking out the living room window.

Watching Edward get into his car and drive away is hard, going back inside is even harder. I expect my mother to say something, but she doesn't and neither does Phil. I don't know what to say, Thank you seems corny and misplaced yet I feel kinda obligated to say something to them. I turn to head upstairs but I stop halfway to the stairs I turn around and both of them are watching me. I smile at them and that is all I can manage before I have to leave the room.

**Okay so lots of questions probably what is going on here why the change of opinion......well next up i am feeling an Edward POV so many questions might be answered as to how and why this all happened and what exactly the situataion is....Hope you like hope it is realistic............Phil is a mastermind behind the scenes lol**


	39. Chapter 39

**Okay here you all go sorry for the wait with the holidays and all family arrived and life went mad on me....................EnJOY hope you like it is longer than normal just for you long chaper lovers out there....Edward is complicated for me to write hope you like and i didn't make him sound like a wuss or something {:)**

Chapter 39 EPOV

The look in his eyes told me that he knew something, I know Phil wouldn't have divulged any specifics but the hint of curiosity mixed with a disapproving light has me cringing at the upcoming discussion with my father. I will have to look him in the eye and tell him that I had every intention of sleeping with Phil's daughter, his underage daughter at that. My mother didn't raise me to take advantage of girls, she probably thought I was a saint in both my everyday life and that of my relationships. I know I have been not been one in either.

It isn't until later when my mother is on the phone with her sister that my father and I retreat to his den for a cold beer and what I dread to be my place of confession. He can always tell when something is troubling me, even when I was very young he always made me fess up, and tonight there would be no difference.

His eyes pin me to my chair, the leather worn yet still smooth against my fingertips as I do indeed try to stall. It is usually not like me to want to prolong my anticipation of his reaction, but I can't stop myself. I end up finishing my beer before I return his stare. I wait so long to return his gaze for at that moment I crumble under the weight of it all.

"I fucked up." Is the lame start I mutter and a pinch of the bridge of my nose turns into my whole head being cradled in my own two hands.

The man before me is intently waiting for me to continue and he is patient, which makes it that much harder to confess it all to him. He doesn't prompt me for more information, he doesn't even acknowledge that I have spoken. He just waits.

"She's only a kid…a 17 year old kid." I blurt out as I look up into my father's eyes; I am at a loss for what to say. How do I explain that her parents caught us on the front lawn? How do I tell my father that despite that he raised me to know better I was caught engaging in a sexual act with Phil's underage daughter? I feel as though I am a teenager once again myself, but I am not I am 24 years old, an adult in the eyes of the world. Just because I am considered an adult in my number of years it doesn't mean I have any of the answers.

"I'm in love with her." I give him a rueful smile, "I don't know how to fix this, I don't even know if I can."

Still he waits.

"They caught us on the lawn making out, well more than just kissing, and they just dragged her way from me, packed up her things. Her mother freaked and threatened to involve the police, I felt helpless. I just stood there; I didn't try to explain to her mother or Phil. I can't lose her…" I feel moisture on my cheeks and I slide defeated and lost into the chair behind me.

"What would you be doing right now if they wouldn't have caught you two?" He asks and I glance at the clock noticing the hour is just beyond 6 in the evening.

I frown at what my brain decides, "Something I shouldn't." I reply as I push my thoughts away, push away my sexual desires for the girl I cannot have. My fingers run through my hair as I focus once again on my father.

"Now I understand, why Phil told me he would be calling me later." He takes a deep breath before standing up, "I'm not gonna spout off about how disappointed in you I am or what you risked getting involved intimately with a 17 year old girl because I believe you already know. Call your doctors tomorrow and get your ass into therapy for that leg. Get your head on straight and get your body working correctly and in the mean time we will try and smooth things over." My father's voice doesn't calm me, in fact my nerves feel like they want to fly out of my skin. His voice is harsh and demanding making me feel incompetent and belittled, but logically what he wants me to do is for the best.

He leaves me there in his den and the compulsion to call Bella drives me out of the house and into the twilight. The fall is much more obvious here, the air is drier and crisp I notice as I fill my lungs. The air fills my chest while I let everything wash over me. A clear head and some time apart should put everything into perspective for me.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I head to therapy and I go through the motions of getting everything I need done accomplished, but despite the fact that my leg is healing and getting stronger my heart isn't in it and I feel a nagging listlessness slowly overwhelming me. Nothing and everything at once has me replaying all the mistakes I made in my head. Why can't I accept my mistakes, why can't I allow it all to just be instead of them controlling every thought in my head. Why I can only think of one reason why? I feel guilty, ashamed, and down right pathetic for some of the things, I said or did.

Yes, I love her. Yes, I don't believe that her mother responded in the best way. Yes, I miss her terribly. But…..

I don't know why my buts start and everyone else's begin. I have heard so many views on the topic I am sick to death of hearing everyone's opinions to the point where I wonder if I even have one, I can call my own.

"I called Mark earlier, you look pitiful, and he is coming over to take you out." I hear my mother say and I groan at the thought of seeing my childhood friend. Not that I don't want to see him, but I don't really want to hear his thoughts on my whole situation in life.

"I don't want to go anywhere but back to Forks." I grumble slouching back further into my mother's living room sofa.

"You know you can't do that, it has only been a week. Isn't that about how long you used to keep your girlfriends anyhow?" I glance up at her with a frown.

"Bella is different. I don't want her for a week or even just a few months. There is something about her that not only makes my brain cease to function but also crank gears I never thought existed in this noggin of mine." She gives me a smile I know is reserved for special occasions but I'm not sure what this occasion is. Me losing the girl I want, the girl I am in love with, how is that a special occasion?

My mother heads into the kitchen to start dinner of which I probably won't be eating because Mark will be here right after work. He works a 9-5 shift at a factory or something the last time I remember emailing him. It isn't like I don't keep in touch with the guy, but I am rarely home for anything that doesn't involve a holiday.

I talk Mark out of heading to the local bar and into just going out to eat at a small diner, not quite the night out he had in mind, but I can't really stomach watching the locals flashing their skin and dancing too close. Mark grumbles a bit but doesn't out right refuse.

"Your mom says you are depressed and I'm supposed to cheer you up." Mark says around a bite of his cheeseburger interrupting my small talk about my leg getting stronger.

"Yeah, I just want to go back to Washington." I grumble knowing now I would never escape till he pulled the whole story out of me.

"Why what do you have there that ain't here?"

I watch him shove three fries into his mouth and use a napkin before deciding on an answer, "My girlfriend." I state simply wondering if I could get away with just that, I doubt it.

"All this over a girl, damn, must have been some break up to screw you up this bad." I frown at this response do I really look bad, I've been eating and exercising how can I look bad. Oh, yeah sleep….

"Yeah, well, we didn't exactly break up….things are just fucked up right now." That is my opening line that sends me into the details of how I met Bella and why I can't exactly just go knock on her door and say I missed her.

"Shit." Is Mark's response to the whole story. He did prompt me along with questions but I thought he would have more of a response than that.

"Yeah, like I said I can't go back right now…I just hope that my Dad and Phil can work something out with her mother or I don't think I can handle going back at all."

Our evening was a little awkward after that and I have a feeling it is due to the fact that Mark has quite a few younger siblings with the youngest still attending high school. When you put it into the perspective of how an older brother would see it I totally get the picture. Makes me kinda glad Bella doesn't have an older brother for me to fight off.

I am in a even worse mood when I arrive home, my mother and father already in bed leaves the house empty and dark. I sit out on the back steps for longer than a few minutes wondering if I just blew my relationship with one of my oldest friends. It's not like I am dating his sister or ever had thoughts of doing so. Does he see me as a villain or misguided? Hell, I don't even know what I really am. Why can't I be younger or her older…

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It is Monday, just over two weeks since I arrived here at my parent's house. My leg is feeling stronger by the day and the brace comes off tomorrow, my spirits should be high in the light of that event, but again it is just another event in a series of connected things in my life. My father hasn't said a word to me in all the days that I have been here, is the silence my punishment, a torture that he expects me to endure while he tries to fix my mistakes.

Maybe I deserve to see this all played out in the court systems, maybe there is something inside me that only wants Bella because he is 17 and forbidden in polite society. Mark never came back over despite the overheard conversation that drifted into the living room between my mother and him. Friends, I long to see Emmett and Jasper the two friends who truly seem to understand me, but I can't forget Alice either despite her slight reservations on the matter of me and Bella together. In the end, Rose was kinda right about it all coming down on me and she will gloat silently and probably is gloating audibly as I sit here wishing I was anywhere but here.

His voice is harsh and to the point when I hear it, "A word, Edward in my den." Not that I haven't talked to my father in the two weeks I've been here but never about Bella, never about anything he discussed or didn't discuss with Phil. I have been in the dark and have known better than to ask.

I follow my father into his den and take a seat on the sofa, the knee of my good leg bounces in a nervous rhythm. I glance at the small brace I would be allowed to remove tomorrow if my check up went well, it helps me focus as I turn my eyes towards the man that could hold the words that would ruin my life. If it must be I will move north towards Seattle, keeping my distance from Forks but allowing myself the familiarity of my friends and surroundings, yes, if I can't have her then I can't be in Forks.

Always one for patience my father takes the time to pour himself a drink before settling into the chair beside the sofa. I know from experience that it won't be until after his first swallow that he will speak. He has different ways of making you wait, here as my father, or out on the field with his team the man will make you want him to talk, full attention on him and his voice or nothing.

"As long as you are cleared by your doctor tomorrow we will leave Thursday morning. Your mother and I will accompany you, I want a chance to meet the girl who can tie my son up in so many knots,—not even a boy scout could free you without a knife. Now, this isn't a get out of jail free card so to speak, you will be respectful, considerate, and for God's sake keep your hands to yourself. Make no mistake Renee is still very hesitate about you coming into her home, I have spoken with her myself and have assured her that my son is not the man she thinks you to be."

He pauses rising to his feet to refill his glass.

"I don't want you alone with her under any circumstances, I highly doubt you will be able to see her anywhere but her home but if by some miracle you are able to take her out in the future make it clear that you will not be alone. I know I am sounding like an overbearing father, but the seriousness of this could ruin your life with a brand so deep you would probably be working some factory job instead of doing what you love."

"Even though your mother and I are years apart in age we were both considered adults when we met. I want you to be careful with her, because if you truly love this girl you wouldn't want to harm her."

I almost get my mouth open to reply but he stops me with a finger raised in the air.

"Sometimes in life you have to play the circus lion and jump through hoops and stand on little platforms in order to get what you want, but the lion doesn't get his prize until the audience claps and approves of his performance. In a less metaphorical way of thinking good things come to those who wait…." Nothing like my father telling me to be patient to make me think I'm a kid again. I try not to roll my eyes and instead take what he says to heart cause despite what I have or haven't done I have been patient with her…I think I just need a little bit more.

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

She is in that house right before me, somewhere just out of reach. What am I even gonna say to her? Has anything been explained about why I'm allowed back into her life? Has her mother convinced her that I am a monster? How has she been doing? Questions fly through my head as I step out of my car and follow my parents up to the front door of what I expect is Bella's house.

I take a deep breath wanting to get it over with, the awkwardness, but another part of me wants to savor every and any moment I get in her presence. I snap out of it as the front door opens and Phil smiles at the three of us.

My feet stop me dead in my tracks when she comes down the stairs. I am at a loss of what to say or how to say anything other than hi and that doesn't quite cover it, so I remain silent. I try to smile an encouraging one, but I feel my efforts are lacking an accomplishment.

The most awkward dinner known to mankind and I had to sit through it. There is no way I am playing cards with my parents and Bella's. I quickly excuse myself in hopes of finding her, she can't have gone far knowing I am still here…or could she? Maybe she doesn't want to see me.

She is standing in the dark living room silhouetted in front of the front window, there is just enough light for me to see the hue of her pink sweater. I step closer almost silently as I continue to watch her and wonder what is going on inside that head of hers.

"What's so interesting out there, Bella?" I force myself to have the confidence and steady voice she has always known me to have.

She turns around slowly as if giving me time to run away or hide in the other room. Her voice is so small and quiet, "I missed you." I hear her say.

"I missed you too." I reply honestly but really, it is an understatement on my part. I suffer through her questions, probing and looking for answers that have probably haunted her at night. I tell her I was wrong and skirt along the details…that is a conversation for a different time and place.

I give in to my want and step closer to whisper what she really wants to know, "I will be allowed to come back that is if we behave ourselves." I feel her shutter a bit, "I can't stay away, there is just something about you that rattles me soul deep. I don't want anyone but you." I don't know where the words came from but I whisper them into her ear while giving her ear lobe a slight tug with my teeth. I know she can feel my body close against hers and my breath upon her skin and it takes all my will power to only do just that and nothing more.

It is loud and meant to startle us, my dad's throat clearing but I don't turn around or move away from her, "Um, Edward don't you think you could see each other better with the light on?" He says flicking the switch and making me want to drag Bella out of the house so we can be alone I feel like a damn child.

I stifle my frustration and anger, "Thanks, Dad I can see much better, now that you mention it. I hold her firmly against my chest as I tell her that my own parents are ten years apart in age. I want to kiss her and hold her tight but I somehow restrict myself to just holding her there standing in the living room.

Goodbyes are always awkward but how do you say thank you for letting me see your daughter and for dinner all in just one sentence. I go with just dinner, don't think they are ready to hear my gratitude for giving me a second chance no matter how restricted.

I prompt Bella to walk me out hoping to get a moment alone with her, well not exactly alone per say because my parents will be watching from their car and certainly Renee from the window.

"I will see you again soon." I promise her and give her a respectable kiss that only leaves me wanting more. It is not enough to be so close and yet she is unattainable.


	40. Chapter 40

**Okay next chapter i know i am a slow updater....well be happy it is a longer chapter again so ENJOY thanks for all the wonderful reviews i really do read and enjoy reading them alllllll Thanks**

Chapter 40

No sleep to sort out my concerns, no sleep to give me a restful look, and no sleep to settle my mind enough to allow me to concentrate. Everything rankles at my mind and everything is beyond irritating as I sit here in bed recalling the nice discussion I had with my mother about the rules and regulations of seeing Edward. I could about puke at the things she has put down as rules not that I can remember most of the trivial things she would like for me to do while I am with him. Did I mention that I can't leave the house with him, or that I can't have him over if no one is home? It is a relief that she even let me see him, talk to him, but hell I don't have emotions of steel I am only going to be able to take so much of this torture before I crack.

Then there is this change in Edward, though he tried to hide it last night I still wonder about his change in attitude towards our relationship. Is he only staying with me out of obligation or does he really truly want to be with me now that there are all these damn rules?

It still seems surreal when I "awake" the next morning, I don't have an epiphany as I realize he has an undying love for me, I don't dance around the room like I have seen on some movies, but instead I just head into the bathroom to take a shower. I through on jeans and a tank hoping that I will be able to escape this house and go somewhere, despite that Edward is back in town I can't just wait and hope he will stop by like a love sick puppy. I refuse to be that cliché anymore than I have already have, I will hold my head up and take the blessing that I have been given no matter how long it lasts it is that I have it now that matters.

His voice floats up the stairs to me, I listen again to be sure and indeed, it is Edward's voice that is in my house. I glance down at what I am wearing and decide that it would be too obvious if I changed into something else now. I slowly force my steps to remain steady and constant against the hall and stairs, running down to meet the man might now be the best idea. Where is my mother she will want to ruin my day at some point won't she?

I stop in the threshold of the stair looking towards the dinning room where Edward and Phil are sipping coffee from mugs. My mother is no where in sight. A smile graces his lips and my thoughts instantly wonder if he tastes of anything other than the coffee, mint perhaps. They both don't see me yet so I continue to watch in amazement as they talk about the team Phil is coaching and the other college ball teams in the area. My heart sinks against the thought that Edward is here to see Phil and not me. They have so much in common, the friendship started long before Edward even thought of me or girls for that matter.

I watch as Phil's eyes catch mine and he inclines his head slightly towards me for Edward's benefit. His eyes lock onto mine and there are no longer any doubts that he isn't here to see me, but I am frozen in place leaning against the doorjamb. We both just stare for a moment and he turns back to take a sip of his coffee when he realizes I am not ready to move just yet.

"Let me get you a cup of coffee, Bella." He says after another long moment before taking his mug to the kitchen to no doubt refill and make my cup.

His absence allows my brain to continue to function and I slowly join Phil at the table.

"Morning, did you sleep?" Phil asks and I supply him with a negative shake of my head.

"Your mother went back to the old apartment for the weekend to settle the rest of the things there so you don't have to worry too much, I certainly do not want you two to have sex…"Phil says as Edward joins us at the table, Phil clears his throat before continuing, "at this point in your relationship, but as long as I am around the house today he can be here."

"No need to censor you discussion with Bella on my account, though it is good to know that you see sex in our future together." Edward smiles sliding my coffee to me as my mouth sort of gapes open at his blunt comment.

"Don't push me too much Edward, I may be level headed enough to have a talk about sex with my daughter but I do not want to be discussing it with her boyfriend unless I am telling him no." Phil's face heats red slightly and I almost feel bad for the guy, but grateful that he is on my side so to speak.

"Don't worry about your daughter, Phil, she laid down the rules right away for me…no sex she told me in no uncertain terms on morning." I divert my eyes from the two of them as I remember that conversation and I can't help but blush at my memories and the memories that Edward must be thinking about.

Phil clears his throat again, "Good…keep it that way, Bella." He says getting up and exiting the dinning room.

I take a sip of my coffee as I hear Phil head into his office, but I am at a loss of what to say now that I actually have him right next to me.

"Sorry, I couldn't sleep last night." I mumble into my coffee cup. "I'm not quite awake yet."

"I thought it would be easier to talk when your mother wasn't around, some things that I have to say are private, and I don't think she would appreciate them."

"Um…" Now he wants to talk now when I am half asleep and drinking coffee.

"Yeah, yeah I know you're not a morning person, Phil says we have all day that is until he kicks me out, or you do." He smiles and takes another sip of his coffee and relaxes back into the dinning room chair looking more at ease every second. It makes me wonder how long he has been here chatting with Phil, he looks more at home in this house than I do and I live here.

The silence is palatable between us but I itch to finish waking up so I can ask him something, anything to ease my mind. I know Phil is in hearing range so my lips are tightly sealed until I can find a safe place to drag Edward off to.

"Come on," I command him after I toss my mug into the sink.

"Lead the way," He smirks at me before I can turn to head towards the back door.

"Be in the backyard, Phil!" I shout as I step out into the crisp morning air.

My mother has the backyard set up with chairs and such just for show considering she loathes sitting outside. I bypass the chairs and head for the large tree in the middle of the yard. I don't want to sit across the small coffee table from Edward I would rather sit on him, next to him, or just near him. I wonder what he will let me do, Phil could see us from his office if he gets up from his desk, but I am not about to make the same mistake twice, all hands must be counted and clearly not heading into unchartered areas.

I take a seat quickly on the grass hoping that Edward doesn't see through my motives or doesn't care about them. I need to touch him, to have his body against mine. He joins me on the ground leaning against the tree right where I wanted him to sit, though in my imagination he sat differently, less closed off. I take a deep breath and hold my own ground where I sit on the grass, if he doesn't want me close to him then I will just sit here. I fight the frown that wants to appear on my face.

"So your mom sold your old apartment?" He asks me though I have a suspicion he knows much more than I do about what my mother is doing back there.

"Yeah, I guess."

"You know Phil called me this morning after she left, he shocked the hell out of me."

"I almost can't believe it," I glance up at him to see that he is watching me, "I mean I thought he had sided with my mom."

"Would I be here if he did?" He smiles, "I wouldn't be here at all if it wasn't for my father, he convinced you mother and Phil to give me this chance."

I don't know what to say, suddenly every question that was in my head last night is no longer there or important. I see him watching me and I look away even though I still feel his eyes on me, trying to penetrate my outer shell.

"Bella, I don't know what you are thinking but I wish you would share with me. I know a lot has happened in the last three weeks, but despite how things have changed what I feel for you hasn't."

"If it hasn't changed why are you over there while I am over here?" My lip trembles as I say it the emotional overload and weight of my question bears down on me all at once. I feel so stupid feeling the tears run down my cheeks, I have no reason why I am crying and in front of him.

"Bella, look at me," His voice stills me but I can't look at him, the tears continue and I shake my head no allowing my hair to fall forward into my face.

His fingers sear the flesh on my chin and the pressure raising my face up to meet his eyes has me biting my lip in an attempt to exert some control over my body. His green eyes boar into me, bright and shinny but completely trained on me.

"Bella, I don't want to take advantage of you or of Phil letting me have time alone with you."

"You wouldn't be! Didn't you overhear Phil earlier?"

"There are a lot of things that have happened, things that I am dealing with about our relationship that make it hard for me to figure out how far is okay and how far is just that too far."

"Nothing you have ever done to me or with me has been too far. So what I was born a few years late and you are older than me so what, does it not matter than I am in love with you, does it not matter that what ever we did I didn't stop you or tell you no."

"I pressured you from the beginning…"

"You really think I'm that weak that I would have allowed any guy to…I have a stronger will than that Edward. Half the girls my age are doing more with there boyfriends every weekend than we have. Despite everything my mother has ever told me or shoved down my throat as reality, there is something about you that makes it all null and void. It still choruses through my head but you make me want more out of life than what my mother dictates. For the first time in my life I feel like I have a voice, a real voice that won't back down against her because believe it or not I have never had that before."

"Bella, how do you know what you would let someone do, from what you tell me your mother hasn't let you interact with any guys your age. I'm not saying that you wouldn't but I just don't want to be the guy you look back on as a mistake." He takes a deep breath and I actually let his words sink in before I respond.

"You are not a mistake, now or in the future…and even if you were why would that dictate what we do now? I don't think you can base every decision you make on what you fear will happen in the future, my mom is always trying to protect me from decisions I haven't even made yet and that just blows don't you do it to me to."

"Sorry, it's just that from my perspective there seems to be a lot of reasons you could come to hate me, and that is hard to swallow when I love you so much. When I was back at my parent's house I met up with one of my old friends and confided in him about our relationship and he didn't take it well. He didn't punch me or even say anything but after I told him I never saw or heard from him again. He has a little sister about your age and I think I disgusted him on some level." His eyes drop from mine though they just stare blankly at the ground.

"I'm sorry, I don't know how that would feel…to lose someone you've know for so long." I frown at the thought because I don't have any close friends that I could lose, I mean Jake has been a friend to me but we are hardly close.

"Yeah, though it would have hurt more if it was Emmett or Jasper cause I think I rely on them far more than any of my friends from back east." He sighs.

"Is that one of the reasons you feel ashamed, your friend doing that?"

"One of them, but my dad was disappointed in me, not for liking you but for not respecting you and the limitations your age denotes. I think they want me happy, just like your mom and Phil do for you. You know that right…that your mom isn't just trying to make your life a living hell."

I roll my eyes at him but I do see what he is saying, "Then she will let me have you." I say moving closer to him, my will power to stay away faltering.

"What do you think your doing?" He asks as I climb into his lap, he sounds all serious but I know there just has to be a smile on his face.

"Nothing rated R and plus we have parental guidance Phil's office overlooks that backyard." I laugh as I settle in securely against his chest and I can breath in his smell, that is distinctly Edward.

"Don't you think Phil will get the wrong idea, Bella…you're straddling my lap." He says sounding a little flummoxed and nervous.

"Relax, he said no sex so as long as our clothes stay on we are good…well…" I scrunch up my nose as I pull back to look at his face, "Not quite just that but you must know what I mean…hmmm you think Phil would think it odd if I wore a skirt the next time you came over….."

"Bella! No."

"Kidding…besides I couldn't do that we an audience."

"What on earth has gotten into you in these last three weeks since I left?" He questions with a crooked grin.

"Sorry, I've just had a lot of time to think and when I thought I would never get the chance my brain started to make things up as I wondered how you would react if I did certain things."

"Really?" He lets out a tiny groan a moment later when I shift on him.

"Maybe I'll have to tell you all about it since we aren't allowed to do any of it anymore." I tease knowing my face is turning bright red despite the words I am speaking and insinuating.

"That has possibilities written all over it that I'm not sure you are ready to explore."

Explore, hmm, I want to explore what kissing him in my backyard feels like.

"What's your next move so I know if I have to counter it with a retreat?" He grabs my wrists with both his hands keeping them away from anywhere they might want to wonder by holding them up and outward.

"No fair…" I giggle at him and dig my knees into the ground for a little leverage. "Can't I just want to sit here with you for awhile without having a next move?"

"I don't believe you."

"Why not?" I pout.

"Because out of all the ways you could have sat with me you pick the most sexual, not that I mind too much that is."

"You know you want me cause if I'm not mistaken…"

He cuts me off, "Bella, there is no point in pointing out the obvious and I still wonder what has gotten into you, I remember you being a little shier about these things."

"Well, if you're not saying them then I have to fill the void. No, seriously I guess I just have missed you and while I played things out in my head I had to make up things for my imaginary Edward to say and I guess they just stuck in my head." I wiggle around a little more on his lap and just as I do his grip disappears from my wrists only to reappear on my hips.

My back hits the grass before I know it and his hands are holding my arms securely out to the sides next to my head but other than that we aren't touching anywhere else. He looms over me his face so close to mine that I can smell the coffee on his breath.

"Now if I knew that was your game I wouldn't have allowed you to stay on my lap so long. But I'm willing to give you a little of what you want granted that Phil doesn't come out here and bust us apart. Keep your hand where they are I don't want you trying to molest me in your backyard with your step-father watching." He whispers just before his teeth grab my lower lip, the warmth of his breath and the slight tug with his teeth have me literally lost to the anticipation.

He hasn't had the chance to kiss me like this for three weeks and it doesn't end there. Heat and passion drive him into an exploration of my mouth that has me wanting to push him onto his back with my own attack. I refrain. He may have been okay with a little boldness from me but I think he would have a heart attack if I attacked him right now. As we continue to kiss it is painfully obvious that that is all he intends to do. Though he is kissing me like the world is gonna end his hands remain on the grass and his body somehow doesn't touch me anywhere besides where we are connected for the kiss.

After a few moments, he seems to relax and slides down next to me on his side. A few chaste kisses along my jaw seem to signify an end to the giving in to what I want portion of the day. I smile goofy at him as the endorphins flood my brain in the after effects of the kiss.

"Feeling better?" He says propping himself up on his elbow while still managing to watch me intently.

"Kinda, but it would be better if you weren't so worried."

He frowns slightly acknowledging the fact that I caught him, not like he wasn't blatantly obvious.

"Sorry, I just can't help it, I mean I knew it before and I even discussed it with my friends but hell Bella, reality hit us and I can't just go back to ignoring it. The fact is I don't know if I want to ignore it any more because what kind of man does that make me?"

I see it on his face, not just the worry of what my mother or Phil will do to him, but the moral dilemma over my age. I take a deep breath as I stare into his too green eyes.

"Will you always just see me as a child now?" My eyes involuntarily close as I wait for the answer, dread washing through me like a tidal wave hitting the shoreline.

"I don't see you as a child; you are anything but a child in my eyes."

"Then explain to me when it is okay for me to want to kiss you, when is it gonna be okay for me to want you to hold me or do more than just hold me? Will it ever be?"

He remains silent and he drops back onto his back affording him the ability of not looking me in the eye anymore.

"My father told me before I came here that sometimes in life we have to be the lion at the circus and jump through other peoples' hoops in order to get what we want. For the lion, it is probably to go back to his cage and eat a giant steak dinner, but in order to get that streak he might have to jump through a ring of fire or stand on a tiny platform first. Do you understand what that means Bella?"

"Yeah, I guess so. Can I make a deal with you then mister lion?" I lean up on my elbow mimicking the pose he held earlier so that I can see his eyes.

"You can play the lion when we have an audience no matter how sparse, but if and when I get the lion alone he will drop the act and let instinct take over."

EPOV

I agree to her terms, for two reasons one, part of me can't refuse her sexual offer and two, the more rational side of me says I will keep my promise to my father and not ever get her alone. The conflict seems to go unnoticed because I hear myself agreeing to the deal.


	41. Chapter 41

Next chapter

**Sorry to all those who were waiting yeah i know im slow but i just couldn't write.... Here you all go and thanks to all the reviews i got and alerts love hearing from you gets me moving with my writing usually lol EnJOY**

Thanksgiving break can't come fast enough and I still have two days left before that wondrous holiday begins. Phil and my mother are gonna be away and the only reason I am being trusted is because Edward's family will be in town to act as my unofficial babysitters. I want to laugh because a month ago I was acting almost a Edward's live in nurse and now I need supervision to be around the guy. Life has a silly way of making you take two steps back just when you thought you were getting ahead in life.

I take a deep breath as I squint up at the tv, documentary about some book we were supposed to have read for English class. I read it a few years ago so the details are a little fuzzy but it isn't a book be are diving too deeply into, thus the movie rendition. I wonder what Thanksgiving will be like with Edward's family at his house, awkward and a little different. Edward's friends are coming, but mostly due to the fact that their families are quite a distance away or are spending it on holiday like my mom and Phil.

"Bella, Bella" I hear and look up to realize that everyone is packing up to go home and I am off in lala land still.

"Sorry." I mumble and head out of the classroom dead set on getting out of the building at record speeds. One more day of school I replay over in my head as I walk down the street towards home.

My mother is still beyond strict when it comes to Edward, she has simply flat out refused to allow him to come over if she isn't in the mood to hang out with us. I try to limit the times to when I know she will be out most of the day, but she is as unpredictable as a bird in a room full of cats. She may say I will be home after dinner and show up hours before that with a scowl to prove she doesn't like my choice of activities. Phil runs interference as best he could on the bad days but at the moment I am Edward free till break so that I can concentrate on my studies. I don't even want to think about what would happen if I brought home a 'b' on my report card, I probably would get locked in my bedroom with nothing but my homework.

When I get home mother is dragging the suitcases across the front room so that they are in a pile next to the door.

"Keep your cell phone on you at all times, I will call you, and I will not hear his voice in the background unless his parents are present, I don't want you alone with him at all. I am allowing you to stay home against my better judgment you have done nothing to deserve my trust, but Phil seems to think that giving you a little room might just be what you need right now." She sighs loudly but her eyes pin me to where I stand giving me her best mom look. "I will be in touch not only with you but with Mr. and Mrs. Cullen as well…"

"Don't worry mom you can trust me." I smile sweetly at her and earn an exasperated sigh for my efforts.

"Don't make me regret this… or you will be like furniture never leaving the house till you turn 18."

My internal monologue rages at that thought but I hold my tongue not wanting to ruin every grain of trust I built between us, no matter how weak it is. I feel like Edward's parents are my babysitters and in reality that is exactly what they are without the elaborate title and pay.

My fingers itch without something to do as I wait for them to leave so that I can call Edward, I haven't seen him or talked to him in what I deem forever, but in reality it has only been days. They will be gone in a few hours and yes I still have one more day of school but it couldn't hurt to just ask if Edward would break the rules and come over tonight. I mean who would object, his parents are staying at his house, but it isn't like we would be doing anything wrong, right?

The hours pass like days and it seems like its next Tuesday before I hear Phil's voice flitter up the stairs to my room announcing their cab is here to talk them away to the airport. The front door slams shut and I hear the cab pull from the drive, my fingers want to dial the number so badly that I jump when my phone rings on my bedside table.

"Hello?" I answer it without bothering to look at the caller id.

"Bella, I forgot to tell you there is a frozen pizza in the freezer for you." My mother's voice has me frowning.

"'k Thanks mom."

"Love you bye." I flip my cell phone closed and lay back down in my bed. I wonder what he is doing right about now.

I can't resist and I dial.

His voice I wait for in anticipation, "Hello." My brain falters cause it isn't his voice on the other end of the phone, "Hello." I hear again before I manage to even breathe.

"I know you are there I can hear you breathing…" Laughter in the background snaps me out of where ever I am, "Sorry, is Edward home?" I ask and want to roll my eyes at my own absurdity.

"Of course where else would he be when his house is full of people." I don't know if I want to scream or laugh because obviously he knows that I would like to talk to him, right?

"Ummm, can I talk to him?" I ask trying to keep the sarcasm out of my voice.

"What no, I missed you Emmett or how are you Emmett from the bottom of your heart?" He chuckles loudly into the phone.

"Well, sure I haven't seen you forever but…"

"No worries, I believe that someone is on their way to come get you so you can join our little gathering tonight, though I hear you have school tomorrow bummer."

"Is Edward coming to pick me up?" I ask ignoring his statement about school.

"Ummm, no but someone is…Edward is a little busy at the moment. You see he was taking the turkey out of the freezer when his dad bumped into him and somehow or another the whole freezer is half on the floor."

"Oh." I respond a little annoyed that Edward wouldn't be personally escorting me to his house but excited that someone thought to come get me. I wonder who?

"Hold on a sec. I gotta pass you to someone else Bella, Rose is grouching at me about something or another." Emmett grumbles.

"Hello, Bella?" I hear another voice, but one I am not too familiar with.

"Hi?"

"Sorry, I know you don't know my voice well, but it is Edward's mother, Esme. Emmett just tossed me the phone as he ran out the back door after his girlfriend, I'm not sure what that is all about but I just glad you called. Your timing is a little off with that crazy freezer falling apart but I think someone is on their way there to pick you up if I heard correctly."

"I didn't know everyone was getting together tonight."

"Yeah, well they just showed up out of the blue, but that's how you kids are aren't you." She laughs quietly.

"Oh, I think my ride is here someone is honking." I say peeking out the window at the car in my drive wondering who is behind the wheel but failing to see.

"I'll see you soon."

"Bye." I hang up the phone and head out the door and my smile just widens as I see who of all people they sent to get me.

"Hi, Alice." I say with a smile as I take a seat in the car feeling a tad nervous to be in her presence again, now that she knows what happened with Edward and me I feel kinda stupid.

"I missed you, Bella. I came by a while back but your mother informed us that we were unwelcome." She says with a frown.

I roll my eyes at the truth of her statement. My mother awful doesn't even begin to describe her sometimes.

"Relax, Bella…its just me, Jasper, Emmett, Rose, Edward's parents…oh and of course Edward." She giggles.

"Okay, but I have school tomorrow still, so…"

"Don't worry I'm sure we will find a way to get you home tonight or to school tomorrow."

It makes me a little nervous knowing that I will have to see Rose again, she is the one who threatened me about everything going bad for Edward. It didn't go bad but not everything turned out good either. Alice makes me feel comfortable keeping up steady conversation about what she has been up to. I take a deep breath as his house comes into view…his Volvo is parked in the drive as well as another car and a large truck. Alice parks her tiny little car next to the truck and I tense at the sight of him standing on the front step.

"Come on silly, no need to try and run now he's already seen you." She chuckles as she gets out and I force my muscles to comply. I haven't been over here since the day my mother dragged me away. I look up and the smile on Edward's face is all I need to separate myself from the anxiety.

"Glad you called." He says wrapping his arm around me as we walk into the house.

It's not what I expect in the living room, where I though his parents would be they aren't and the rest of them are no where in sight at my first glance. Movement at the corner of my eye has me spotting where everyone ran off to, outside I see Emmett with a Frisbee firmly in hand getting ready to whip it at someone in the distance. I glance at the front door only to realize Alice must have walked around back to join everyone, leaving us semi alone in his front room.

His arms circle around me reminding me of how he held me not so long ago the first time he was at my house. He pulls me tighter against him driving my entire body flush against his and pulling my breath from my lungs. It is almost torture to be so so close to him and yet still so distant.

"I take it this doesn't count as alone." I say feeling the corner of my mouth quirk a little as I turn to look at him.

"They will be in here in 10 minutes if we aren't out there." He chuckles, "But that doesn't mean we have to rush out of here." His voice slows and it seems that just as he finishes his sentence his lips are finding mine eager for the touch we both have been denied.

I can't help but push against the solid man behind me wanting much more than just his kisses, wanting things I fear he will never give me. It is almost as if the playful side of Edward that first drew me to him has somehow been lost with all the hustle and bustle of the rules and supervision. I miss the teasing voice that first brought me anxiety something is different…almost lacking I fear in his personality.

Our stolen minutes are interrupted too soon, his mother's voice finds our ears effectively driving a wedge between us and halting the unchartered path my hands were attempting to take.

"I'll get them mom," Edward replies and starts towards one of the kitchen draws where he extracts a pair of tongs.

"You two coming out or you gonna hide inside all day?" She says with a smile as she takes the tongs from her son.

"Yeah, come on, Bella, gotta make sure dad ain't burning the food." And just like that we head out to the group and away from the longest semi-private moment we had in weeks because as much as Phil tries my mother's presence is hard to avoid.


	42. Chapter 42

**Sorry i updated slow i know you don't want excuses lol so here is the next chapter hope you like i will try my best to get the next one one ASAP :)**

As the sun sets and we head indoors with our bellies full and the bruises to show we were playing a little too rough, I almost feel jipped at my lack of Edward time. I rub my arm where the scrape from the nearby thorn bush attacked me when I fell into it to catch the Frisbee. I frown at the thought of heading home to my empty house, why can't I still live here?

"You need to disinfect that." I jump at his voice so close and his inflection is riddled with concern.

"Yeeeeah." I say peering up into his eyes as he takes my hand with a determined stride towards the bathroom.

Once my arm is clean and dabbed with peroxide I absently, wonder why Edward pulled me into the bathroom. I know it isn't just to clean my arm because he shut and locked the door as we entered. We don't need that much privacy to clean a scrap.

"I wanted to ask you…if you wanted to stay here tonight." My eyes drift to his hip as he settles in against the counter distracting me for a moment as I process his question.

"Someone will drive you to school tomorrow if you still don't want to be seen with me, but I would really like you to stay. It's not that late but soon it will be just me, you and my parents who go to bed early…something about the time difference…but if you want to go Alice can give you a ride home." I just listen to his long explanation having already decided that I would love to stay…just hope that my mother don't find out, but we are supervised I internally chuckle at that, his parents hardly are the prison guard my mother is.

"I already discussed it with my parents and they agreed though sleeping in the same bed was a deal breaker so you'll have to sleep on the couch."

"Yeah, sure, it's fine Edward you don't have to sell me on this." I smile just as the knock at the door reminds us that we are indeed in the bathroom.

"Edward I just wanted to check with you about weather or not we are taking Bella home…we would like to get going and that means put everything back where it belongs behind buttons and zippers and come bid us farewell." Jasper's voice teases releasing any tension him interrupting us might have caused.

"Yeah, yea, give us a second, okay?" I laugh feeling a little mortified by what he said but it was kinda funny too.

"Come on, before everyone does think we are messing around in here." He smiles a little crooked and throws a wink at me before he leads me back out into the living room where everyone is talking and finishing up their drinks.

I get a hug from Alice and a scowl from Rose before they head out the door. Just as Edward predicted his parents bid us both goodnight and head towards my old room leaving me and Edward alone on the couch. I wonder in my head if this counts as alone, but somehow I don't wish to give his parents a show or a reason to interrupt us. I stay scrunch up where I am in the armchair waiting and wondering exactly how the rest of tonight will go. I shouldn't be this nervous, geesh, I take a deep breath and slowly start to uncurl myself. Edward comes back into the room tossing me one of his t-shirts and my eyes do not fail to notice that he lacks one. Bare skin, Edward flesh in person has my eyes and my mind zeroing in on nothing but his physic.

"Still got what it takes to stop you in your tracks without the cast, huh?" I relax at the familiarity of him being in a more leisurely mood.

"Yeah, I'm gonna go change." I mumble softly as he heads towards the kitchen for some drinks. I may feel more at ease but that doesn't help that I stumble over my words around him half the time and the other half I'm fine.

I head down the hall towards the bathroom but curiosity takes over as I run my finger along the bathroom doorframe and bypass it and head towards Edward's room. I flip the light and hesitantly step in as if someone is gonna strike me for going into the forbidden place. I carefully shut the door behind me so I can change into the t-shirt. A smell that is almost distinctly Edward curls around my nose and has me closing my eye to take it all in.

I fold my clothes and set them on his bed not knowing what else to do with them and head back out into what I hope arm welcoming arms. I flip off the light and smile as I see him flipping through the DVDs in search of something worth watching.

"Are you looking for the one that will shock me the most?" I ask peeking over his shoulder as he flips through them.

"Why do you want me to shock you…I could think of other ways to do that besides movies." He quirks his teasing smile making my mind start to turn to mush.

"I haven't seen a movie in ages…so pick something good." I reply taking a seat at one edge of the couch.

"Oh, do you really think you'll be able to keep your mind on the actual movie do you?" he says popping one into the player before joining me on the couch.

I snuggle into his side as he grabs the blanket off the back of the couch to wrap around us. Just being this close to him has me feeling on edge instead of relaxed like I should be, the simplest of things such as sitting near each other has my mother hovering or separating us. I take a deep breath as my hand slowly and without any grace at all trails along the bare skin of his chest. I peek up at him to find his eyes watching me and I feel the blush rise to my cheeks at the thought of him watching. I lower my eyes and dip my head slightly into his shoulder just before I force my eyes to the TV.

His hand grazes my stomach only moments later and proceeds to trail lower just barely touching the skin of my leg. I inch a little closer to him wanting more and hoping that somewhere in there he wants the same thing. The movie starts and somehow I become lost in the plot, I admit movies suck me in sometimes.

"A.I Artificial intelligence" is the movie we are watching and it holds my attention up to the point where the robot guy is gonna have sex with the girl. The girl says " I'm afraid of what you've got under there. May I see what it looks like first?" I want to laugh but instead I tense as Edward moves my hand a little lower.

"Are you afraid of what I got under here?" His voice whispers in my ear and he presses my hand down slightly against his cotton pants.

"It won't bite you, Bella…it might spit on you a bit but only if you want it to." He says with that playful voice that I have come to love. All I can do is giggle a little as his hand trails away leaving mine still on his lower half. "Now what," I think as I press a little closer and just leave my hand where it is.

At some point I drift off to sleep and I know this because I wake briefly and Edward is gone and I am stretched out on the couch alone.


	43. Chapter 43

** Next Chapter Hope you ENJOY :)**

**It is a little disappointing that I woke up alone but it was inevitable that I would and I knew that from the start. It is a little more disappointing that it is not ****Edward**** who drives me home but his mother. She left me at the front of my house with promises of seeing me later since she would be in town for the next few days that is also obvious. Thanksgiving is tomorrow and dinner at ****Edward****'s house is the plan. Tonight though and the rest of the nights are up in the air, I think as I sit here in class. I wonder if I can get him alone for a little one on one time without the threat of constant supervision by his parents. **

** The last bell sends me walking to the front of the school building with a little hop in my step and I seem to take my walk home much faster than I usually do. My feet stop working as the silver car in my drive shocks me a bit, as I take in the sleek form leaning against the hood. It is a complete shock there was nothing remotely close to a hint the night before that he would be surprising me at my house after school. **

** My feel start moving once my halted stumbling becomes awkward and noticeable prompting a crooked smile to play on ****Edward****'s lips. **

** "You didn't tell me u would be here?" **

** "Of course not…I'm supposed to be the responsible one." He says grabbing my school bag as we walk towards the front door. **

** "Oh, so where are you supposed to be if not here?" **

** He just chuckles and shuts the front door behind me. The wicked smile that I had been waiting to see graces his face, but only for an instant and I saw it. I head to the fridge to grab something to drink. **

** "You want something…" I ask turning to look at him and come face to face with his lower torso. **

** "More than ever, but what I want isn't exactly in the fridge at the moment." His arms wrap around me pulling me upright and snuggly against him. **

** "Really I wonder what that could be?" I say with a smile all my interest in a beverage is lost. **

**I am a little down hearted when the phone rings and I cringe that it could be my mother so with shaky **

**hands and a reassuring smile from ****Edward**** I answer the phone. I let out a loud sigh when I hear an unfamiliar voice of a telemarketer on the other end of the line. **

** "You know if you are so worried that I am here maybe I should just go." **

** "Go...no, no it's okay really, I doubt my mom will even call ****Phil**** told me he would try to keep all the phone calls to a minimum." **

** "Well, if you're sure..." **

** I give him a smile as we head into the front room. I feel a little awkward now that we are alone, but I push it away and take a seat next to him. The warmth of his body next to mine helps to calm my anxiety over everything; I don't know what he expects from me. I lean over, give him a chaste sweet kiss on the cheek, and almost instantly feel a little stupid for my actions. I don't have long to feel this way because before I know it his arms are around me pulling me close. The tension eases from me and I relax into his embrace and accept a kiss that is much deeper than the one I previously offered him. **

** "So what do you want to do, Bella?" He asks in a slight whisper and a sparkle in his eyes. **

** What kind of question is that my brain screams at me as my brain does back flips instead of thinking of a decent response. "Uhhhh, I don't know what do you want to do?" I mimic back when I come up without a thought. **

** "Well, it doesn't matter what I want because I want what ever you are ready to do. If it be that we just sit here and cuddle or if we take it a little further I am happy to do whatever." **

** "Well, I don't know..." **

** "Getting all shy on me for some reason", He laughs as he pulls me close to him. **

** "No, I just don't know how to answer the question." I mumble. **

** "It's okay." He says kissing me on the forehead. **

**I return the kiss feeling much better than I did 30 seconds ago; I think I remember reading that kissing does something to your brain to make you happy. My mind drifts down that line of thinking and before I know, I am leaning backwards onto the couch with ****Edwards****'s body pressing into me slightly. Warm flesh against me is a much better distraction than the physiological functions going on in my brain. My breathing is heavy and my eyes are shut and I can't seem to focus on anything in particular except where his mouth connects to mine. **

**A moment later everything halts and I feel my eyes pop open and i come face to face with those dazzling green eyes. Looking up into his eyes i almost start to count the lines in his irises as what I feel is hours passes before he speaks. **

** "Bella, are you okay with this?" He whispers in an almost inaudible tone. **

** "Completely." I whisper back but my voice seems so much louder in the quiet room. **

**He watches me for another second before I feel his warm fingers start to inch my shirt upwards slowly, the anticipation is overwhelming. As my shirt comes completely off I am happy to see ****Edward**** shed his own for my own viewing and touching pleasure. His arms flex as he leans down to give me a quick kiss before giving his attention a little further south. **

**I want to do something, anything...but I am like putty in his hands as he works quickly and surely to get my pants undone. I didn't have much time to wonder what he would think, but now fear flies through me as he starts to inch my jeans down with one hand while his other concentrates on my torso. My body cooperates a bit as I lead him a hand to get my jeans off. He shifts against me and I briefly feel what he is hiding beneath his own pants. A tiny little squeak escapes my mouth as I get the first touch of his hand in the deep south. **

**His eyes lock on mine penetrating me looking deep within me I want to look away but I find myself unable to resist looking back and straight into his own soul. It seems like hours that we are locked eye to eye and lost to everything else but the moment. The ringing of the phone doesn't register until it stops and the fact that I am breathing much harder than i was before is only apparent briefly to me before the panic sets in that I didn't answer the telephone. **

**Quickly I try to stand up but my jeans are still hooked on one of my legs and I almost fall flat on my face, if it were not for the strong hands that caught me, I would have been hurt. **

** "Thanks." I say sheepishly as I stand there before ****Edward**** in nothing but my panties. **

** "Just slow down…" He takes a deep breath as why I am panicked sets in. He tosses me my t-shirt as I struggle with my jeans. I get my jeans pulled up just as I hear my cell phone start to ring in my backpack. I scramble over to it and flip it open right before the last ring. **

** "Hello," I say as I relax against the wall of the house. **

** "Hello, Bella did you just get home from school, I just called the house and there was no answer." **

** "Yeah, mom I just walked in the door two seconds ago, it was crazy after school with it being a holiday weekend and all. I laugh not at what I say but as the stupidity of my lie, of which I am getting much better. **

** "Okay, I just had a minute and I thought I would call to check in and see how your day at school went." **

** "It went okay, it's school…" I roll my eyes and see ****Edward**** watching me out of the corner of my eye. **

** "Alright, ****Phil**** is saying we have to go, I'll talk to you later, honey…bye." **

** I hit end on my phone as my heart rate starts to return to normal, with the fooling around and the surprise phone call my heart was beating way above normal. **

** "Everything alright?" He asks and I nod my head at him. **


	44. Chapter 44

It has been a long while and lol it is just life getting in the way of my time for writitng so here is what i have ill post it cause if i don't it might sit for a while til i have time to write again ENJOY :)**  
**

**After the phone call scare I feel myself relax knowing somehow that I would not be bothered by my mother again. Instinctively I know that ****Phil**** has her busy somehow and that the worries in the back of my mind do not carry any merit. I button the top of my jeans and head over to the couch and literally fall into it, feeling a little exhausted from the whole ordeal. **

**Everything that has happened in the last few weeks has been stressful; trying to sneak around is not doing anything for my peace of mind. I feel like I am so strung out about keeping up with my homework, avoiding my mother, and making time for Edward that I don't even have a moment to sort it all out in my head anymore. I peer over at the amazing man beside me just for a second and I find it all so hard to believe. He, ****Edward****Cullen****, wants me, little Bella Swan, high school student with the psycho mother to boot. **

**I want it all to be simple again, well… it never was simple if only I was a year older it would be. I find myself lost in my thoughts for the first time in ages everything feels like the right form of chaos and I want to hold on to that if only for just today. I lean into him just as he flicks on the tv and I relish in his warmth and his smell…perfect peace. **

**I remember my eyes drifting closed but beyond that I don't even know how long I have been sleeping here on the couch with ****Edward****. It is dark outside I know that for sure. I reach over to grab my cell phone and my eyes about bug out at the time and the number of missed calls—7, 7 missed calls. Before panic sets in I scan through them and see that they are all from ****Edward****'s house, not as bad as missing a call from my mother but they must be worried. **

**I gently remove myself from ****Edward****'s grasp and peer out the window, oh, my…all I see is snow, snow, and more snow. A freak snowstorm has managed to cover all the roads with deep layer of snow. We are stuck here at my house with each other all alone.**

**Panic…how long will we be stuck here and if the roads look this bad in town how are the roads out by ****Edward****'s house—worse. I walk upstairs to my room and sit down on my bed in the dark leaving the, oh so cute, slumbering ****Edward**** alone on the couch. I gaze into the mirror on my wall wondering what it will be like, I mean I haven't done it before but seeing as we are stuck alone in the house together we are bound to have sex…right? I mean I want to have sex with him, it is supposed to be fun. **

**All these questions start to pop into my head and I suddenly wish I had a best friend to talk to about them all. I can't let ****Edward**** know because that would be a little weird, but I guess he knows most of my insecurities already. **

**"What are you doing?" I hear his voice a little curious and I just know he is smiling there in my doorway. **

**"Just sitting here…" I say peeking up at him feeling a little embarrassed by what I was thinking even if he doesn't know what I was thinking about. **

**"Have you seen outside, my mom just called my phone I guess she has been trying to reach both of us I had my phone on silent". He leans against the doorframe now making a silhouette that is quite appealing. **

**"Yeah, I noticed, I guess we aren't gonna make it back to your house for awhile." **

**"Yup, we will have to see what you have to eat here, I'm starving." He says as I walk over to him as I contemplate all my concerns, I had only moments ago. **

**"Ummm, I think there are some frozen pizzas or something in the fridge." I mumble as I attempt to edge by him. **

**The hand on my shoulder stops my progress and I turn to look at his concerned face. I don't want him to see what I know is clearly showing on my face so I lean in and give him a hug. It doesn't work even in the slightest and my avoidance hug turns into something more.**

**"What's wrong Bella?" He whispers bending down to look me in the eye. **

**"Nothing…it's just been a very stressful week is all." Not a convincing lie and I know it and I know he knows it but for some reason he lets it go and starts to usher me to the kitchen. **

**Edward**** doesn't say another word about my little omission as we cook the pizza instead he switches to small talk about the snow and not expecting it. I go along with the conversation through the meal, but I dread the change in topic that is sure to come. I think he is just trying to figure it out on his own before he questions me again. **


	45. Chapter 45

** Next chapter i know its short sorry but i thought i would attempt at writing it again lol  
**

**Being snowed in with ****Edward****, big fantasy right, no, all it is causing in my brain is stress. Stress about expectations I have or he has for me. I don't know what I really have to freak out about I mean I used to live with him, alone without supervision. **

**This snow couldn't have come at a better time in the big picture of things, what have I been wishing for, time alone with ****Edward**** and what do I have now. Geesh, things seem so much easier before they actually come true. I just gotta chill out or I am gonna find my self really chilled as I tunnel myself to freedom in the cold snow. **

**I stop at the top of the stairs the sight that awaits me I have not seen in quite awhile, his bare chest, smooth and chiseled to perfection even in the dark hallway. Location, location, location, is what makes it all the better, this hall leads to my bedroom. **

**"You ready?" He says, my stress relieved for the moment due to the long hot shower I took moments ago might just be returning full force. **

**"Yeah, sure." I try to smile without showing my nervousness and only fail miserably. **

**"You know Bella, we don't have to do anything you don't wanna you know that don't you." His kind smile and strong arms wrap around me pulling me close. **

**"It's not that I don't its just, oh I don't know…" I mumble into his shoulder.**

**I take a deep breath and crawl into bed, I mean its not like we haven't done this before lie in the same bed, hell I have be intimate with this guy we just have never done what I think he wants to do now that we have the chance. His arms pull me close, so warm and safe feeling and I begin to relax, and to wonder if being "closer" would be that much warmer. **

**I slowly turn towards him nuzzling closer to his chest; my breath must feel moist and hot as I swallow my fears. We shift as he lies on his back pulling me firmly on top, the firm ridge of his body beneath mine has me squirming and wanting to know and do more. I run my hands down his hard muscled arms searching my brain for the next step I am not sure I want to take. The nervousness seems to build but not in my stomach anymore but it seems to be centralizing a bit lower. **

** "Bella?" **

**"Hmmm," I mummer as I grind my body against his and I once again want to go further because I have entirely lost my mind and the only thing I can contemplate is what lies beneath his boxers and how warm it would be to be skin against skin. **

**"I'm cold you think I could crawl inside your shorts." **

**"I am entirely sure you would not fit, they are kinda snug as it is." He chuckles and snaps the waistband a bit. **

**"How about you take them off then." I say shyly. **

**"Only if you take something off too." He says smiling up at me.**

**"But I'm cold." I whine leaning down to steal some more heat from his soft warm skin. **

**"I wasn't talking about your shirt silly, what about these." He says trailing his finger up the center of my underwear. Involuntarily I squirm toward his trailing finger wanting more.**

**"You first." I mumble as the anxiety returns. He gently rolls me off him and starts to pull down his plaid boxers. **

**I stare, and then decide to close my eyes only to open them as quickly as I scrunched them shut. I look at his nether regions up close for the first time and have trouble looking away. I am sure my face is reddened with the obscene thoughts I am having. **

**"Bella…" ****Edward****'s voice draws my graze away and to his face as he pulls the covers up over his waist a bit. His smile says it all, cocky and firm in the knowledge that I was staring him down. "Your turn."**

**My fingers hesitate as I slide my undies off, yes, my nightshirt will still be covering what lies beneath, but I am still nervous as hell. **

**I pull the blanket up after I drop my panties on the floor beside the bed. Okay, now what are we to do—we both have no pants, correction (****Edward**** is completely nude) I only have my nightshirt on. No mental questions left as ****Edward****'s arms pull me close and I am surprised by the firm heat against my lower back. I can almost melt into him and am lost in a daze as his rough fingers slowly slide my nightshirt up over my head. I don't contest it because the warmth sooths my fears and I press backward into his naked body. **


	46. Chapter 46

**Chapter 46**

**We lay like that for what feels like eternity, skin against skin, but the whole time I keep thinking about the firm presence against my back. The courage starts to come back to me and I start to believe that everything will be okay.**

"**Edward…" I whisper in the softest voice.**

"**Yes, love…" His lips utter directly into my ear.**

"**I don't know what I'm doing." I mumble out feeling kind of stupid for stating something he knows. **

"**I'll help you out." He says with a crocked smile as he rolls me underneath him, his warmth moving from my back to everywhere on my body as the piercing hotness of his manly regions burns my stomach.**

**His eyes lock onto mine and I am lost to them as he leans in for a warming kiss as I feel his weight press me into the mattress. My hands rub is strong arms in search of something, anything to occupy themselves with. He trails kisses down my neck causing my breath to be stolen away. The mere instances between each kiss isn't barely enough time for me to catch my breath. Labored breathing combined with the tiny little noises coming from my mouth would have me almost motified if I could actually think at the moment. **

"**Are you sure Bella?" He asks looking me square in the eye as if searching my soul for any doubts I may be hiding. **

**I nod my head and try to smile at him knowing I fail do to anxiety not from doubt but from inexperience. **

**Ever so slow it feels as hands and mouth bring my body to places it has never been. Just as I feel like nothing could get any better I feel his penis at my entrance. The good feelings now gone as I wince at the tight pinching and I stare bewildered into his loving eyes for reassurance. It doesn't last for long the pinch slowly dissolves into nothing as he leans down to kiss me senseless. **

**I wish I could state that the experience was all encompassing a mind blowing occasion but in reality that isn't what the first time is for. Movies and books don't do it justice when it is described as rose petals and fireworks. As Edward and I lie in bed his arms around me the feeling I have now for him is stronger yet. He has my trust and my heart even if legally I can't let anyone know that he has my virginity also. My birthday isn't for another few months and you better believe I am counting down the days till I can proclaim it from the stars above that he is my boyfriend for now till eternity. **


End file.
